Ishmael and the Hoops of Steel by Michael Gerard Bauer

should’ve known you guys wouldn’t do anything sicko like that. Ooo! That reminds me. I better ring Brad and tell him. He’s like totally planning to punch your lights out, Razz. Isn’t he sweeeeeeeeet!’
    Jess pulled out her mobile and headed for the corridor. Sally took Razz by the hand.
    â€˜I’m really sorry too.’
    Razz shook his head sadly.
    â€˜I just don’t understand how you thought I’d
do
a thing like that. Me? I mean, even if Jess got filmed accidentally I can’t
believe
you’d think I’d watch it. Man, that’d be like … like … finding a bank vault open and stealing the money and saying it was OK because
you
weren’t the one who opened it. It just wouldn’t be right. It’d be …
wrong.
’
    I fought the urge to roll my eyes in case Sally saw me.
    â€˜It’s like I said before, Sal, we’re talking about
privacy
here. And I reckon privacy is one of the most
basic
rights any …’
    â€˜It was Ishmael’s idea not to watch the video, wasn’t it?’ Sally said flatly.
    â€˜Absolutely,’ Razz answered immediately.
    â€˜Probably had to twist your arm, right?’
    â€˜Posssssibly.’
    Razz grimaced and squinted at Sally as if he was bracing for a punch. But Sally didn’t come out swinging. Instead she stepped forward and planted on Razz’s lips the biggest, juiciest, most lingering-est kiss ever. When they finally separated Razz looked like he’d had most of his energy and a good portion of his brain sucked from him.
    â€˜What was
that
for?’ he said like he’d just woken up.
    Sally smiled her best heart-melter smile at him.
    â€˜Your reward … for letting your arm be twisted.’
    â€˜Yeah, I did, didn’t I? Which was an awesome effort on my part. Huge. So I was thinking maybe I deserve …’
    â€˜Don’t push it, Orazio,’ Sally said with all the finality of a guillotine. Then she turned to me.
    â€˜Thanks, Ishmael. I’m
so
glad you’re Razz’s friend. I don’t know what he’d do without you.’
    Then she gave me a big hug.
    I was glad I was Razz’s friend too. But later that night as I walked alone behind Razz and Sally and watched them holding hands and laughing together, I couldn’t stop myself imagining what it would be like to swap places with the Razzman. Even just for a little while.
    Yeah, right, I thought as I shook the idea from my head, like that’d ever happen.

Year Eleven
Semester Two
    This above all: to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man.
    William Shakespeare,
Hamlet
, act 1 scene 3, lines 78–80

18.

THE ALCOHOLIC DANE
    Our first semester of Senior School finished in the usual blaze of assignments and exams. A few people were warmed by the glow, many suffered minor burns and some perished in the inferno.
    Debating-wise, the second semester didn’t start too well. Our third-round contest resulted in an unexpected loss. Miss Tarango diplomatically described the judge’s decision that night as ‘just a little curious and hard to fathom’. Razz described it as ‘totally mental, man!’ When Miss reminded him that we must never criticise the adjudicators he said, ‘Yeah, you’re right, miss. You should never speak ill of the brain-dead.’
    The loss meant that our hopes of making the fourth term debating finals now hinged on us winning the final round. We had gathered in the library to prepare for just that, but as usual Razz wasn’t quite with us.
    â€˜
Hamlet
? We’re doing
Hamlet
? I still don’t get why Slattery’s making us do
Hamlet
when all the other classes get to do
Macbeth
, which is heaps better ’cause it’s way shorter.’
    Razz and Mr Slattery had already had a discussion on this very issue in a previous lesson. It went something like