Ishmael and the Hoops of Steel by Michael Gerard Bauer Page B

desk.
    â€˜All I’m saying, Scobes, is, wouldn’t it be better if Hamlet forgot about everything else and just got on with it?’
    â€˜Perhaps we could discuss that at some other time, Orazio,’ Scobie suggested, ‘because what
we
really need to get on withis preparing this debating topic. We’re up against Claremont and they’re easily one of the best teams in the competition. If we can’t come up with some very solid arguments to match theirs, then we will certainly lose this next debate and then we’ll be out of the finals again.’
    Unfortunately, to put it simply, we couldn’t, so we did, and we were.

19.

THE ACCELERATED JEDI COURSE
    A few days after our fourth-round debating defeat, Scobie scheduled his usual debriefing and review meeting to find out what we did right, what we did wrong and how we could improve for next year. We didn’t know it, but we were about to find out something a lot more than interesting than that.
    As usual, Razz was the last to arrive.
    â€˜Sorry I’m late, Herr Scobemeister. Uniform detention. Hey, by the way, any of you guys seen my tie? Or my Senior badge? No, forget it, doesn’t matter. Listen up. You know how I’m going to the Lourdes Semi-formal with Sally?’
    How could we not? Razz had been talking about it non-stop for weeks.
    â€˜Yeah, well, some chicks still haven’t got partners so they’re looking for volunteers. Just going to draw names out of a hat and match people up. You guys wanna be in it? Come on, it’s two weeks from this Saturday.’
    â€˜That rules out Ignatius and me,’ Scobie said, checking his student diary. ‘We’re away on the Accelerated Science Course that weekend. It’s live in.’
    Razz let out a high whistle. ‘A two-day science slumber party, eh? Wicked! You guys must be nearly bursting your Bunsen burners with anticipation. Now make sure you pack plenty of clean lab coats, you hear? Oh, and at dinnertime, be sure to remember your Periodic Table manners.’
    Scobie gave an exaggerated Cheshire Cat-type smile. ‘We’ll take
lots
of notes and photos and post them on your Facebook page, Orazio.’
    â€˜Peachy, Scobes. I am fighting
so
hard to contain my excitement, and hey, what do you know? I have. So OK, you guys are definitely out. But what about you, Ishmael? You might get lucky and draw out another Kelly Faulkner.’
    â€˜I don’t think so, Razz. I don’t want to be matched up with someone I’ve never met.’
    â€˜What are you worried about, dude? Stranger Danger? Well, never fear. The Razzman will come to your aid if some chick refuses to take advantage of you.’
    â€˜Gee, thanks, but I think I’ll be fine.’
    â€˜Come on, man! Hey, maybe I can get Sally to pull some strings. You know, make sure you’re not lumped with one of those brainy chicks who look like the Bride of Frankenstein or something.’
    â€˜So how did that
History of Feminism
unit work for you, Orazio?’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Doesn’t matter,’ Scobie said and began humming a few bars of what sounded suspiciously like ‘I am woman’. Razz ignored him.
    â€˜So what do you reckon, Ishmael?’
    I shook my head. I was sick of being talked into stuff I wasn’t sure about. I didn’t care if Razz thought there was something wrong with me. For once I wanted to go out with someone
I
chose.
    Razz rolled his eyes at me. ‘All right, dude, yeah, whatever.’ Then he waved across the table at Bill.
    â€˜Hoop Boy! Looks like it’s left to you, Billy, to fight off all those desperate chicks. Better bring the light sabre along.’
    Bill shifted his eyes around the table and mumbled, ‘Sorry, Razz … I don’t want to go either.’
    Razz slapped his forehead.
    â€˜You too, Bilbo? What’s
your
excuse, man? Got the Accelerated Jedi Course on or something? Or are you