in short, the public image of the man who leads Stonehart Industries.
“You think I spat in your face?”
“And what would you call it?” I counter. “Look around you, Jeremy. Look where we are. You’ve locked me away in some god-forsaken castle, like Sleeping Beauty. This is something that would happen in Medieval times! There’s no one around that I know of, just me and you, and we’re God knows how far away from society. This is almost as bad as being left in the dark, Jeremy, when I had no one to rely on but you!
“And now, when I tell you what you’ve been so eager to hear, when I tell you what you claimed you would fight tooth and nail for, what do I get in return? Not softness. Not compassion. Not even appreciation! I get the most dismissive, arrogant smirk imaginable. If that’s how you treat me,” I say, turning away from him and starting up the stairs, “then I take it all back.”
His voice follows me, smooth yet cutting like the sharpest blade. “You can’t take it back, Lilly. Especially since I know that’s how you really feel.”
I stop midstride, one hand on the railing. I shoot him a hateful glare. “You never learn, do you? You can’t treat me like that and expect understanding in return.”
He shakes his head. “Understanding is not what I want, Lilly. I want truth. Truth and honesty. When you tell me that you feel the way I know you do, that’s a step forward.
“For me,” he turns on his heel to face me fully, “it is mere affirmation of what I already believe. So forgive me for seeming ‘presumptuous’.” A cruel sneer mars his handsome face. “But it is who I am.”
“And who you are is despicable.” I spit, turning away and marching all the way up the stairs.
I’m angry. At myself, even more than at him. I laid it all on the line for Jeremy and he didn’t show the least bit of sympathy. Not even warmth! He became, in that instant, a mixture of Jeremy and Stonehart. Cold, and in control. Calculating. Yet not physically or verbally abusive.
At least… not yet .
I feel naked and exposed. I’ve given up my greatest bargaining chip on a stupid, emotional whim. I didn’t make him work for it. Not nearly enough. It’s been only a few weeks since he first said the words. I should have made him sweat. I should have made him wait for months. I should have…
Dammit!
I should have been more patient. I could have had Jeremy wrapped around my finger, waiting with bated breath to hear me admit my feelings instead of giving it away so soon, so…meaninglessly.
Because that’s what he made it appear. That is the crux of all my frustration, anger, and resentment. When he said, “I know!”…he made my words seem meaningless.
And that’s what hurts the most. It wounds me deeply. I hate to admit it. That is why I’m covering it up with anger.
My whole life I’ve prided myself on being independent. I never relied on anybody or anyone but myself. I was able to control my emotional state based on how I feel, not on the actions of other people. I existed, for better or for worse, on an island where—no matter what anybody did—they would not be able to influence my mental state.
Now, that type of buffer is completely gone. It’s been annihilated. I am reliant on Jeremy for more than physical things. More than clothes, money, shelter and warmth. More than the bare minimum creature comforts.
I am reliant on him for something that is much more precious to me. I am reliant on him for the fulfillment of my mind.
Holy shit.
I stop short. My heart is racing. My thoughts are in overdrive.
That is exactly what Jeremy wants, isn’t it? That is exactly what he had always wanted.
When he told me, the first time we met, in the elevator, the he was after my mind … I had no idea what the implications of that would be.
He doesn’t want me to love him. He never did. Sure, it might be a nice thing for him to have. But that was never his ultimate goal.
His initial goal,
Jackie Ivie
Margaret Yorke
Leslie Wells
Susan Gillard
Stephen Ames Berry
Ann Leckie
Max Allan Collins
Boston George
Richard Kurti
Jonathan Garfinkel