goodbye.”
“What?” I say.
“You’re going home. You know that, right?”
I don’t know anything. “We have to go back with the device.”
“No, dude, I have to go back. Noh set you free.”
“She didn’t say that. She said—”
“Noh said what she had to say, so she can sleep at night. You don’t know how hard this is gonna be on her, giving you up before your time. I’m gonna have to go back and say you escaped from me. And she’s gonna have to convince herself she made a stupid mistake giving me this.” He takes out another tiny cloth bag. “These are seeds, man. Real ones. She told me to pay Konstantin with them. But you heard what he said. He doesn’t take stuff that’s worth this much. Truth is, she gave me these seeds so I can hire you a guide. So that he can take you to the hospital. So you can go home. Got it?”
“I guess so.”
“The worst part for her though is gonna be not using the device on you. If she wanted, she could force you to come back.”
“The device is broken, isn’t it?”
“Well, yeah. The part that lets her talk to people in dreams is busted. Not the controlling part.”
“Wait a second.” An idea kicks me in the shin. “If she’s willing to pay a guide with seeds, why not give Weis some in the first place? That is what he wants, isn’t it?”
“Man, you really don’t get it. Thing is, you don’t have to get it anymore. Just forget all this shit, and go home. You do want to go home, don’t you?”
And the fact that I don’t say, “Yes,” an instant later bothers me.
The fact that I stay silent is terrifying.
If I leave now, I’ll never get my Assignment.
I’ll never learn the true purpose to the Vacation.
I’ll never see Noh again.
But fuck all that, I want to go home.
But.
There’s a reason I came up with the Weis-communicating-with-his-daughter-using-the-device idea so fast.
I have a reason to go back to the Garden.
A good one.
“If you’re gonna come with me, dude, we’d better leave now.” Odin glances around with squinted eyes. “I already paid those shepherd kids to get you a guide. If he shows up and learns we’re not gonna use him, well…you’d better make up your mind quick.”
Suddenly, I wish Noh would use the device on me again.
Now the only person I can blame is myself.
And I do.
Part 14
The process runs as smooth as if they do this sort of thing everyday. And I’m beginning to think, maybe they do. Weis comes in with a gun pointed at his head, and Pari remains outside in the same predicament, and after Weis finishes with the machine, the trade will be made, and the door will be locked, and that’ll be the end of it. For a while.
When Noh first sees me, she says, “Bernard.”
The feeling I get, it’s like the first time I rode my bike, or my high school graduation. It’s not the event that’s important, but the pride I sensed in both of you.
I want her to say my name again, and I wonder if I’m suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
It doesn’t feel like suffering.
As for Weis, he whimpers in his chair, with the helmet on. I don’t know if the device is causing him pain, or if he’s saying goodbye.
He’s got plugs in his ears, so it doesn’t matter if we speak.
But we don’t.
Afterward, Weis says, “I won’t attempt another siege for as long as the Garden remains in this location.”
With her gun still directed at Weis’ head, Noh says, “I would expect nothing more from you, Sergeant.”
“Thank you, Noh. And you, Mr. Johnson. I hope this is the last time I’ll ever see either of you, but of course I fear for the worst.”
Noh nods and takes him outside.
The trade is made.
Odin and Pari make out in the garden, and I tell Noh I want to speak to her in private. I head into the electronics room and she follows.
“I want to use the device,” I say. “That thing is still inside Aubrey. I want to talk to her.”
“Aubrey?”
“Weis’ daughter. Whatever her real name is.
“What?” I say.
“You’re going home. You know that, right?”
I don’t know anything. “We have to go back with the device.”
“No, dude, I have to go back. Noh set you free.”
“She didn’t say that. She said—”
“Noh said what she had to say, so she can sleep at night. You don’t know how hard this is gonna be on her, giving you up before your time. I’m gonna have to go back and say you escaped from me. And she’s gonna have to convince herself she made a stupid mistake giving me this.” He takes out another tiny cloth bag. “These are seeds, man. Real ones. She told me to pay Konstantin with them. But you heard what he said. He doesn’t take stuff that’s worth this much. Truth is, she gave me these seeds so I can hire you a guide. So that he can take you to the hospital. So you can go home. Got it?”
“I guess so.”
“The worst part for her though is gonna be not using the device on you. If she wanted, she could force you to come back.”
“The device is broken, isn’t it?”
“Well, yeah. The part that lets her talk to people in dreams is busted. Not the controlling part.”
“Wait a second.” An idea kicks me in the shin. “If she’s willing to pay a guide with seeds, why not give Weis some in the first place? That is what he wants, isn’t it?”
“Man, you really don’t get it. Thing is, you don’t have to get it anymore. Just forget all this shit, and go home. You do want to go home, don’t you?”
And the fact that I don’t say, “Yes,” an instant later bothers me.
The fact that I stay silent is terrifying.
If I leave now, I’ll never get my Assignment.
I’ll never learn the true purpose to the Vacation.
I’ll never see Noh again.
But fuck all that, I want to go home.
But.
There’s a reason I came up with the Weis-communicating-with-his-daughter-using-the-device idea so fast.
I have a reason to go back to the Garden.
A good one.
“If you’re gonna come with me, dude, we’d better leave now.” Odin glances around with squinted eyes. “I already paid those shepherd kids to get you a guide. If he shows up and learns we’re not gonna use him, well…you’d better make up your mind quick.”
Suddenly, I wish Noh would use the device on me again.
Now the only person I can blame is myself.
And I do.
Part 14
The process runs as smooth as if they do this sort of thing everyday. And I’m beginning to think, maybe they do. Weis comes in with a gun pointed at his head, and Pari remains outside in the same predicament, and after Weis finishes with the machine, the trade will be made, and the door will be locked, and that’ll be the end of it. For a while.
When Noh first sees me, she says, “Bernard.”
The feeling I get, it’s like the first time I rode my bike, or my high school graduation. It’s not the event that’s important, but the pride I sensed in both of you.
I want her to say my name again, and I wonder if I’m suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
It doesn’t feel like suffering.
As for Weis, he whimpers in his chair, with the helmet on. I don’t know if the device is causing him pain, or if he’s saying goodbye.
He’s got plugs in his ears, so it doesn’t matter if we speak.
But we don’t.
Afterward, Weis says, “I won’t attempt another siege for as long as the Garden remains in this location.”
With her gun still directed at Weis’ head, Noh says, “I would expect nothing more from you, Sergeant.”
“Thank you, Noh. And you, Mr. Johnson. I hope this is the last time I’ll ever see either of you, but of course I fear for the worst.”
Noh nods and takes him outside.
The trade is made.
Odin and Pari make out in the garden, and I tell Noh I want to speak to her in private. I head into the electronics room and she follows.
“I want to use the device,” I say. “That thing is still inside Aubrey. I want to talk to her.”
“Aubrey?”
“Weis’ daughter. Whatever her real name is.
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