I.
This is a trauma I feel, but don’t know how to own.
Piles of Noh’s notebooks and alternate reality newspapers consume Mrs. Royal’s library. The old books are not only gone, but devoured. I avoid stepping too close to the mounds for fear of paper tongues lashing out and pulling me into an abyss, where I’d become nothing but a name on a list.
A dark faceless figure ascends from behind the counter.
“Aubrey?” I say, and I’m not sure if I’m referring to my dead sister or to Noh pretending to be my dead sister’s spirit or to the Amina who never existed.
“It’s me, Bernard,” he says. “Jack.” The black haze sharpens into a face and body, and steps out from behind the counter.
“Jack?”
“I tried my darndest to prevent this as long as possible,” he says. “But I knew the time would come. I’m sorry it has to be you.”
And I picture him throwing me into one of the man-eating book piles. It’s too bad this place doesn’t have any windows or doors. There’s no chance for escape. Maybe I can prolong the inevitable if I keep him talking. “How are you doing this?”
“Talking to you?” he says. “I have access to a dream machine. Because I’m an agent. Because all American Tour Guides are agents. I’m the one who acquired the device for Noh in the first place.” He jumps up onto the counter and looks down on me. “Here’s the truth, Bernard. I’m a double agent for the Agency. Not because I want to be, mind you. I was found out, and now my superiors are impatient for results. If I don’t give them what they want, they’re going to kill me.” He’s wearing a suit now, black and white. “It’d be nice if I could give up my life for the good of the cause, but I’m a coward. So. I need you to kill Noh for me. The Garden can’t survive without her, and that’ll make my superiors happy.”
“I can’t kill her.”
“You think that now, Bernard, but you’re hardly aware of what you’re capable of.”
I remember Jack’s message to Noh. The one he told me in the hospital. “You hate her, don’t you? That’s why you want her to die.”
“I know she’s a good person, and she doesn’t deserve to die. But she doesn’t exactly deserve to live either. She’s snuffed out more innocent folks than I have. Although I use that term loosely. Innocent.”
“She did something to you. I know she did.”
Jack nods. “There came a time when she was blessed with the opportunity to receive two acquisitions at the same time. She could have taken one and let the other one go, but that’s not the kind of person Noh is. She decided to lead them both to the Garden. She communicated with one and left the other on autopilot. The connection process takes time, so she couldn’t switch from one to the other. Therefore, I was left to travel the path alone, and my mind fought back the same way yours did. All the way there.”
I remember the nightmare forest. Clowns chuckle from deep within the newspaper heaps, and I force the memories back deep inside.
“It nearly killed me,” Jack says. “But I’m not doing this because of my malice. Malice, I can live with. Execution, I can’t. You have to kill her.”
“I won’t,” I say.
“Good. Now you’re speaking my language.” He cracks his knuckles. “You’re going to kill her, because if you don’t, I’m going to kill Krow.”
“You can’t!”
“She trusts me. It would be easy.”
I rush at him, but by the time I swing my arm, he’s already behind me.
“Sneak into Odin’s room when he’s away,” Jack says. “Search his stash and find the pills with the letters OM written on them. Crush up three of them, no more and no less. Put them in her food or water. Make sure it’s something she’s going to consume all at once. That night, go outside of the stronghold and I’ll use the device to direct you to the nearest safehouse. You’ll be back home in no time. Be out of there before sunrise tomorrow. Do this right,
This is a trauma I feel, but don’t know how to own.
Piles of Noh’s notebooks and alternate reality newspapers consume Mrs. Royal’s library. The old books are not only gone, but devoured. I avoid stepping too close to the mounds for fear of paper tongues lashing out and pulling me into an abyss, where I’d become nothing but a name on a list.
A dark faceless figure ascends from behind the counter.
“Aubrey?” I say, and I’m not sure if I’m referring to my dead sister or to Noh pretending to be my dead sister’s spirit or to the Amina who never existed.
“It’s me, Bernard,” he says. “Jack.” The black haze sharpens into a face and body, and steps out from behind the counter.
“Jack?”
“I tried my darndest to prevent this as long as possible,” he says. “But I knew the time would come. I’m sorry it has to be you.”
And I picture him throwing me into one of the man-eating book piles. It’s too bad this place doesn’t have any windows or doors. There’s no chance for escape. Maybe I can prolong the inevitable if I keep him talking. “How are you doing this?”
“Talking to you?” he says. “I have access to a dream machine. Because I’m an agent. Because all American Tour Guides are agents. I’m the one who acquired the device for Noh in the first place.” He jumps up onto the counter and looks down on me. “Here’s the truth, Bernard. I’m a double agent for the Agency. Not because I want to be, mind you. I was found out, and now my superiors are impatient for results. If I don’t give them what they want, they’re going to kill me.” He’s wearing a suit now, black and white. “It’d be nice if I could give up my life for the good of the cause, but I’m a coward. So. I need you to kill Noh for me. The Garden can’t survive without her, and that’ll make my superiors happy.”
“I can’t kill her.”
“You think that now, Bernard, but you’re hardly aware of what you’re capable of.”
I remember Jack’s message to Noh. The one he told me in the hospital. “You hate her, don’t you? That’s why you want her to die.”
“I know she’s a good person, and she doesn’t deserve to die. But she doesn’t exactly deserve to live either. She’s snuffed out more innocent folks than I have. Although I use that term loosely. Innocent.”
“She did something to you. I know she did.”
Jack nods. “There came a time when she was blessed with the opportunity to receive two acquisitions at the same time. She could have taken one and let the other one go, but that’s not the kind of person Noh is. She decided to lead them both to the Garden. She communicated with one and left the other on autopilot. The connection process takes time, so she couldn’t switch from one to the other. Therefore, I was left to travel the path alone, and my mind fought back the same way yours did. All the way there.”
I remember the nightmare forest. Clowns chuckle from deep within the newspaper heaps, and I force the memories back deep inside.
“It nearly killed me,” Jack says. “But I’m not doing this because of my malice. Malice, I can live with. Execution, I can’t. You have to kill her.”
“I won’t,” I say.
“Good. Now you’re speaking my language.” He cracks his knuckles. “You’re going to kill her, because if you don’t, I’m going to kill Krow.”
“You can’t!”
“She trusts me. It would be easy.”
I rush at him, but by the time I swing my arm, he’s already behind me.
“Sneak into Odin’s room when he’s away,” Jack says. “Search his stash and find the pills with the letters OM written on them. Crush up three of them, no more and no less. Put them in her food or water. Make sure it’s something she’s going to consume all at once. That night, go outside of the stronghold and I’ll use the device to direct you to the nearest safehouse. You’ll be back home in no time. Be out of there before sunrise tomorrow. Do this right,
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