Cade takes yet another drink. He says, “Next up, the Lumineers!” Scott stands up and throws his sticks. They bounce off the drums and hit the cymbals, making a huge crashing sound. He storms off the stage toward the back of the club.
At the same time, Jeremy takes my hand. “Let’s go, Mattie. I’ve had enough.” He tugs me out of my seat toward the exit. I don’t resist.
I turn to look at Cade while we make our way to the door. He’s standing on the stage, arms crossed, with a faraway expression on his face. I’ve really blown it. It was too soon. He wasn’t ready.
We get into the car, and it’s very quiet. Too quiet.
Jeremy asks, “Mattie, can you tell me again how you got the impression it was all right for us to come tonight?”
“It was a text. Like I said, it’s been going okay. We’ve been talking a little bit, catching up, things like that. He didn’t seem upset.” If I’m not careful, the tears are going to start to fall. I can feel my throat start to constrict.
“Can I see the last text, Mattie? Would you mind?” Jeremy asks.
Confused, I hand him my phone. Jeremy punches a few icons,grows silent, and puts his head back against the seat, closing his eyes.
“Mattie. I’m sorry, but you missed something. It was subtle, but it should have tipped you off.”
“What? It was just one line! What did I miss?”
Jeremy turns the phone toward me. “Here.”
I read the text again. “I still don’t get it Jeremy. All it says is…oh… Wait a minute.” I follow the conversation. I asked Cade about Jeremy and I coming to the show tonight and his response was, “That’d be just great.”
Jeremy looks at me with his beautiful, gentle brown eyes. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of just simply staring at him. Right now, though, his eyes are a little sad. He knows how excited I was for tonight.
“I missed the ‘just’ didn’t I?”
Jeremy takes my hand and kisses it softly. “It’s not your fault, Mattie.”
This is so embarrassing. I feel so stupid.
Cade
I watch Mattie and Jeremy make their escape. That’s exactly what it was. An escape. What the hell was I thinking? What did I do? Shit, I really blew it.
Scott approaches me. “Shit, Cade, you really blew it this time!”
I couldn’t agree more.
“Mattie was so excited to come back to watch us play. She told me you said it would be great. Why did you tell her that? You’re obviously pissed she came with Jeremy. What was that anyway?”
Scott has his hands on his hips, obviously mad as hell as he waits for my answer.
“I was being sarcastic. I forgot Mattie doesn’t do sarcasm. I thought she’d take the hint, but it obviously didn’t register.”
Scott looks at the ceiling. His tightly coiled stance relaxes a little. “She probably saw what she wanted to see. She really misses you, Cade. I remember when you two hung out. It wasn’t all romance. The two of you had a great friendship.” He pauses when he notices my expression. “I know, I know. You fell for her hard. But listen, Cade, the friendship was the best part. You’re going to screw it up if youkeep acting this way.”
I let out a hard breath. “I couldn’t help it, Scott. I saw them together, and something just snapped.”
When she walked in, looking so damn beautiful, my breath caught, and then I saw Jeremy. Something dark and heavy descended on me until I felt like I couldn’t breathe. If I’m honest with myself, I think I wanted her to know how much I’ve been hurting, how these past six months have been the worst of my life.
Except for maybe one afternoon, the day I spent with Laurel, but it didn’t mean anything. I feel ashamed when I realize I wanted Mattie to feel bad for choosing Jeremy. It’s not like we had a long history or anything. Three months, but it was long enough for me to develop strong feelings – love, I’m sure of it. Yes, it had to be. If it wasn’t love, why would I feel this awful?
Intellectually, I know Mattie
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
John O'Riley
Brenda Sinclair
Christopher George
Stephen Lloyd Jones
Karl Iagnemma
Celya Bowers
Jill Gregory
Aria Cunningham