played during speed skating was invariably fast dance music. It got the heart racing and the blood pumping. I could feel myself getting caught up in the music and noticed with some alarm that the blue particles that were flexing down my arms were getting more and more noticeable as I gained speed. I wasn’t sure if it was in relation to the speed, the build-up of adrenaline or something else. It was becoming quite distracting though. Actually it was becoming too distracting. It is a universally accepted fact that a speed skating rink is a bad place to lose one’s concentration. I started wobbling as I took the last corner and realised with some small degree of panic that there was little I could do to prevent an eventual fall.
Now, there are two things one can do when one is about to fall – panic or attempt to control the fall. I’d fallen over enough times to know what to do. The basic technique they teach you when you start skating is to attempt to fall forward on your hands and knees to prevent smacking your head. The impact of course can be quite hard and you will invariably hurt your elbows, wrist or knees. In practice you’ll usually hurt all three.
I didn’t much think that this was such a good idea at the speed I was going. My ego had much to say on the subject – if you’re going to embarrass yourself on a date then you’d better make it seem intentional.
Using the last bit of my control over my feet I attempted to sweep my feet out into a slide and aim myself roughly in the direction of the exit. You know what they say, if you’ve got to go, go out with a laugh.
This was all right in theory, my legs collapsed under me and I slid over onto my side. I landed with grace and I soon found myself sliding at high speed towards the exit. I had one arm behind me attempting to direct my travel the other waving cockily at the crowd as I departed the rink. As the surface of the rink was quite smooth, I hadn’t notably slowed down by the time I reached the edge of the circuit.
I realised my mistake at about the same time I realised that there wasn’t much I could about it. I was aimed directly, feet first, at the carpeted floor beyond the rink exit. Now carpet is usually pretty soft right?
Wrong. When you’re sliding across it at high speed it’s actually pretty rough.
I hit the carpet while I was still going pretty fast. My natural showmanship with my unorthodox exit had served me well as the crowd of skaters had vacated the exit and were laughing at my tumbling act.
The funny thing I’ve noticed whenever I’ve hurt myself is it’s not so much the act that hurts it’s the moment just afterwards. I didn’t feel a thing as my arm shredded along the rough carpet, nor as my shirt was pulled back and my lower back exposed to the same treatment, I didn’t feel anything until I came to a standstill and carefully got to my feet. Carpet burn is a harsh mistress.
Wincing, I watched as Tina made her way over to me with a look of concern across her face. She placed a tender arm around under my shoulder as she helped guide me back to the cafe. I played down the pain I was actually feeling. People were patting me on the shoulder as I passed them by – everyone loves a good laugh.
I sat down looking calculatingly at the burns along my arm. It wasn’t too bad actually, it hurt like blazes and looked awful, but I wasn’t bleeding and I wasn’t too badly bruised. All in all I’d live. I didn’t particularly want to inspect my back, especially in front of Tina as I suspected that it would look worse.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tina asked, gazing at my arm.
I waved her off nonchalantly, attempting to suppress a grimace at the pain that shot down my back from my grazed side. Forcing a smile I shrugged.
“Forgot about the carpet.” I grinned cheekily at her. “You want to go again?” I gestured towards the rink.
“Uhh… No. I think that’s enough for one night.” Tina smiled back.
It was almost
Now, there are two things one can do when one is about to fall – panic or attempt to control the fall. I’d fallen over enough times to know what to do. The basic technique they teach you when you start skating is to attempt to fall forward on your hands and knees to prevent smacking your head. The impact of course can be quite hard and you will invariably hurt your elbows, wrist or knees. In practice you’ll usually hurt all three.
I didn’t much think that this was such a good idea at the speed I was going. My ego had much to say on the subject – if you’re going to embarrass yourself on a date then you’d better make it seem intentional.
Using the last bit of my control over my feet I attempted to sweep my feet out into a slide and aim myself roughly in the direction of the exit. You know what they say, if you’ve got to go, go out with a laugh.
This was all right in theory, my legs collapsed under me and I slid over onto my side. I landed with grace and I soon found myself sliding at high speed towards the exit. I had one arm behind me attempting to direct my travel the other waving cockily at the crowd as I departed the rink. As the surface of the rink was quite smooth, I hadn’t notably slowed down by the time I reached the edge of the circuit.
I realised my mistake at about the same time I realised that there wasn’t much I could about it. I was aimed directly, feet first, at the carpeted floor beyond the rink exit. Now carpet is usually pretty soft right?
Wrong. When you’re sliding across it at high speed it’s actually pretty rough.
I hit the carpet while I was still going pretty fast. My natural showmanship with my unorthodox exit had served me well as the crowd of skaters had vacated the exit and were laughing at my tumbling act.
The funny thing I’ve noticed whenever I’ve hurt myself is it’s not so much the act that hurts it’s the moment just afterwards. I didn’t feel a thing as my arm shredded along the rough carpet, nor as my shirt was pulled back and my lower back exposed to the same treatment, I didn’t feel anything until I came to a standstill and carefully got to my feet. Carpet burn is a harsh mistress.
Wincing, I watched as Tina made her way over to me with a look of concern across her face. She placed a tender arm around under my shoulder as she helped guide me back to the cafe. I played down the pain I was actually feeling. People were patting me on the shoulder as I passed them by – everyone loves a good laugh.
I sat down looking calculatingly at the burns along my arm. It wasn’t too bad actually, it hurt like blazes and looked awful, but I wasn’t bleeding and I wasn’t too badly bruised. All in all I’d live. I didn’t particularly want to inspect my back, especially in front of Tina as I suspected that it would look worse.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tina asked, gazing at my arm.
I waved her off nonchalantly, attempting to suppress a grimace at the pain that shot down my back from my grazed side. Forcing a smile I shrugged.
“Forgot about the carpet.” I grinned cheekily at her. “You want to go again?” I gestured towards the rink.
“Uhh… No. I think that’s enough for one night.” Tina smiled back.
It was almost
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