Undiscovered Gyrl: The novel that inspired the movie ASK ME ANYTHING (Vintage Contemporaries)

Undiscovered Gyrl: The novel that inspired the movie ASK ME ANYTHING (Vintage Contemporaries) by Allison Burnett

Book: Undiscovered Gyrl: The novel that inspired the movie ASK ME ANYTHING (Vintage Contemporaries) by Allison Burnett Read Free Book Online
Authors: Allison Burnett
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“fingerbang me.” She said he was so scared he ran away.
    Okay, that was the single most boring post ever. I have become everything I hate.
    Now it’s freezing out, football is on the TV, I’m still hung-over from last night and my fingers are stiff from typing this sad tale of a girl gone wrong. I am really unfortunate and empty. No boyfriend. No secret older man. No bliss. No college. Loser 2
    I should have broken up with Rory the second I met Dan. Or else been strong enough never to kiss Dan in the first place. One or the other. One or the other.
    I really don’t want to get back together with Rory. I am sick of his freckles and intense emotions. Plus his balls smell like vinegar.
    Thank god my name is not really Katie and I am 100% invisible to the world or I would be so humiliated right now I would crawl into a hole and die.
    My father totally forgot my birthday. Or maybe he just ignored it. I was his favorite person in the world when I waslittle. Now that I am grown up he hates me. Why? What did I do wrong?
    I am a crazier gyrl than I thought.

Monday, December 17, 2007
     
    Cole got a vaccination today and afterwards when he started to cry so did I. On the way home Margaret said she was really impressed that I had been so moved. She said most young people lack empathy. Especially beautiful young girls. It was wonderful to get a compliment like that so I didn’t tell her that the real reason I cried was that there was a cheesy calendar on the wall in the doctor’s office that showed two lovers holding hands on a perfect beach and it reminded me that I will never kiss Dan again.
    Driving home I sat in back next to Cole. He was about as happy as I have ever seen him. He squeezed my finger and whenever I crossed my eyes at him or made a funny face he gently smiled. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could forget pain as fast as babies do? But if we did, I wonder if we would learn anything. I mean, isn’t it pain that teaches us life’s most important lessons? I want to learn from the pain of Daniel.
    •    •    •
     
    When Paul got home from work we all hung out together in the kitchen. Margaret tossed a big salad and Paul popped pieces of cucumber in his mouth. Paul is brilliant and speaks with charm about every subject. I don’t care at all about sports except when I’m faking it for my dad, but I understand it pretty well. Paul explained the steroid scandal, and I swear he made it sound exciting. He talked about how baseball, except for jazz and movies, is America’s greatest contribution to the world’s culture, and to see it dirtied this way really disgusted him. I hope Margaret knows how lucky she is to have a rich handsome husband who is never boring.
    On my way to the car I turned around and looked at their big, gorgeous white house all lit up and twinkling in the cold, but so warm inside, and I thought this is what I want someday. And I can have it. All I have to do is make smarter choices.
    Driving home I decided to cheer myself up by going on the biggest shopping spree ever. I bought two wool tops, three hoodies, two pairs of skinny jeans, two packs of hairbands, two lacy bras, two red undies, a pair of red ski gloves, a jar of all-natural anti-dark-eye-circle cream, five magazines, one makeup remover with cucumber and aloe, a phone charger for my car and a pretty black velvet dress with a bow in backwhich is the perfect combination of dressy and casual. Oh, yeah, and a pair of black patent-leather ballet flats. I spent my gift certificate from Jade, all of my mom’s present and most of last week’s salary but it only cheered me up a little.
    When I got home and saw my bedroom, I cried for two hours. I am still such a little girl and I hated that it showed in my lavender and white bedroom. I threw stuffed animals around and broke a music box and wished I had never met Dan. My mind was filled with vengeful fantasies. I wished that I was pregnant so I could wheel our baby by his house and

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