different moods. It’s just as much fun in your bedroom, a romantic getaway hotel, a fully equipped dungeon, or even an alpine tent. The creative potential and sensual possibilities are endless, making this the perfect pleasure art for a lifetime of boredom-proof sex. So it’s no surprise that bondage is one of the fastest growing trends among the sexually adventurous.
THE PLEASURES OF BONDAGE
What is it about bondage that draws your attention? Do you fantasize about it? Does your lover? If you’ve tried it before, what about it got you off? If you’ve not tried it, what sort of fun do you imagine it to be? Knowing what makes you and your sweetie curious about bondage is the first step in creating an amazing experience. This is something I constantly emphasize to the students in all levels of my workshops. It can be easy to get caught up in the technical details, bogged down by the variations or wonders of the equipment, so keep your focus on why it’s hot for you.
Each person’s answers to the why of bondage will be different. When I ask my readers and students why they love to play with bondage, the reasons they give are wide-ranging and diverse. The list below is just a sampling of examples that come from real people. Run through it alone or with a partner. How many are on your list? On your partner’s? Do you find yourself thinking of completely different reasons that aren’t listed here? Simply going through this list of things that other people love about bondage may be an excellent way for you and your lover to discover new things about each other.
• A lover’s surrender into sensual captivity, fulfilling fantasies of romantic helplessness
• The thrill of being naughty and breaking taboo
• Escape from daily responsibility
• Thrill of anticipating the unknown
• Full-body relaxation while receiving erotic attention
• Erotic humiliation
• Sensation of full embrace
• Firm bondage in a quiet atmosphere over a long period can create a sense of inner peace and meditative stillness
• Bondage as part of erotic role-playing games lets you unleash your dirty evil genius, hot sex slave, or any character that turns you on
• The physical catharsis and excitement of being able to thrash about as much as one likes
• A change of pace from one’s usual sexual routine or play style
• You can appreciate the beauty of the bound body or allow your own body to be exhibited as you’re bound
• The intimate pleasure of giving or taking control with someone you feel a deep connection to
• Immersion in deep trust and emotional intimacy
• Pleasure in the sensations of rope, leather, or other bondage gear on the skin
• Expression of sensual creativity
• Bondage positions and equipment that touch or bind against erogenous zones just perfectly, increasing turn-ons and intensifying orgasms
What other reasons you can think of? Knowing the root of your bondage pleasure will also help you select the right equipment and technique. Why struggle with a truckload of exotic toys if all you need is a blindfold?
BONDAGE BASICS
Regardless of the type of bondage play you want to explore, there are some basic preparations that you have to consider first. Think of it as your preflight checklist.
Up for It?
Talk with your lover and make sure you’re both into giving it a try. Even if your sweetie likes surprises, just springing bondage on them mid-sex can be disastrous. Discuss what each of you wants to try; make sure that you’re clear about your desires and where your limits are. No need to make it sound like some boring legal arbitration, make it a flirty, dirty hot talk!
If you’ve never chatted about this—give the conversation time. Your partner might have hesitations and concerns. Hear them out and compassionately address their concerns. Remember that it can be intimidating to try a new and taboo sexual activity. Remind them that this is about fun and pleasure.
Top or Bottom?
Decide who’s going to
THE PLEASURES OF BONDAGE
What is it about bondage that draws your attention? Do you fantasize about it? Does your lover? If you’ve tried it before, what about it got you off? If you’ve not tried it, what sort of fun do you imagine it to be? Knowing what makes you and your sweetie curious about bondage is the first step in creating an amazing experience. This is something I constantly emphasize to the students in all levels of my workshops. It can be easy to get caught up in the technical details, bogged down by the variations or wonders of the equipment, so keep your focus on why it’s hot for you.
Each person’s answers to the why of bondage will be different. When I ask my readers and students why they love to play with bondage, the reasons they give are wide-ranging and diverse. The list below is just a sampling of examples that come from real people. Run through it alone or with a partner. How many are on your list? On your partner’s? Do you find yourself thinking of completely different reasons that aren’t listed here? Simply going through this list of things that other people love about bondage may be an excellent way for you and your lover to discover new things about each other.
• A lover’s surrender into sensual captivity, fulfilling fantasies of romantic helplessness
• The thrill of being naughty and breaking taboo
• Escape from daily responsibility
• Thrill of anticipating the unknown
• Full-body relaxation while receiving erotic attention
• Erotic humiliation
• Sensation of full embrace
• Firm bondage in a quiet atmosphere over a long period can create a sense of inner peace and meditative stillness
• Bondage as part of erotic role-playing games lets you unleash your dirty evil genius, hot sex slave, or any character that turns you on
• The physical catharsis and excitement of being able to thrash about as much as one likes
• A change of pace from one’s usual sexual routine or play style
• You can appreciate the beauty of the bound body or allow your own body to be exhibited as you’re bound
• The intimate pleasure of giving or taking control with someone you feel a deep connection to
• Immersion in deep trust and emotional intimacy
• Pleasure in the sensations of rope, leather, or other bondage gear on the skin
• Expression of sensual creativity
• Bondage positions and equipment that touch or bind against erogenous zones just perfectly, increasing turn-ons and intensifying orgasms
What other reasons you can think of? Knowing the root of your bondage pleasure will also help you select the right equipment and technique. Why struggle with a truckload of exotic toys if all you need is a blindfold?
BONDAGE BASICS
Regardless of the type of bondage play you want to explore, there are some basic preparations that you have to consider first. Think of it as your preflight checklist.
Up for It?
Talk with your lover and make sure you’re both into giving it a try. Even if your sweetie likes surprises, just springing bondage on them mid-sex can be disastrous. Discuss what each of you wants to try; make sure that you’re clear about your desires and where your limits are. No need to make it sound like some boring legal arbitration, make it a flirty, dirty hot talk!
If you’ve never chatted about this—give the conversation time. Your partner might have hesitations and concerns. Hear them out and compassionately address their concerns. Remember that it can be intimidating to try a new and taboo sexual activity. Remind them that this is about fun and pleasure.
Top or Bottom?
Decide who’s going to
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