be the one binding (usually called the top), and who’s going to be bound (the bottom).
The Escape Clause
Agree on a safeword or safe signal. Having one is especially important if you’re playing fantasy role-play sex games. Sometimes it’s fun to play at saying “No!” but your partner will feel more confident in the games when they know what the real “NO” sounds like. Tops also get to use a safeword if they don’t feel comfortable with what’s going on. Once you set a safeword or safe signal, respect it and abide by it. Solid trust is the foundation of fabulous bondage.
Oops Tools
Sometimes things don’t go the way you planned and the bondage needs to get undone quickly. Sometimes your plans for smooth unbinding go awry. Sometimes equipment fails. Have your “oops tools,” or contingency tools available. Emergency medical shears, which have rounded tips and cut easily through a variety of materials, are an essential part of your bondage toolkit. You may often hear them referred to as EMT (emergency medical technician) shears, and they’re available in most drugstores. They are great for rope, leather, cloth, tape, rubber, and other materials.
If you’re using devices that lock with a key, have several spares available. When using multiple padlocks, take the precaution of using locks with identical keys. Spare keys are a lot easier to hide and carry than giant bolt cutters, as well as being far more stylish.
Sweet Aftercare
How you wrap up your bondage experience is just as important as how you do the wrapping. Aftercare is what each participant wants and needs to transition from bondage play to everyday life. When you finish a delicious bondage experience, it’s like being in an altered state. Great sex in all forms can be like that. Rushing out of it can be jarring at best, and at worst it can put you in an intensely bad mood for a while. That happens often enough that it’s called a “drop.” Both bottoms and tops need aftercare, so schedule your play time with that in mind. How long it takes and what constitutes aftercare varies from person to person. Here are some examples:
• Sex
• Cuddling
• Talking about the fun you just had
• Being quiet
• Chocolate
• Time together
• Time alone
• Snacks and water
• Putting the tools away
• Ignoring the tools for now
Have the Right Tool for the Job
Gather the toys you want for play. This includes the bondage equipment as well as any sex toys, extension cords for vibrators, lube, pillows for propping up the body, slings and sex swings, and any other items you might want. I’d hate for you to be all tied up with the lube just out of reach! Don’t forget to turn off your phones before play, and select your bondage toys according to what feeds your appetites. I’ve listed below several varieties of toys and types of play for you to consider. You can also skip ahead to the First-Time Scenarios I’ve created for you.
TOOLS: DIY FUN AROUND THE HOME
No need to spend a fortune! DIY bondage is one of my favorite hobbies. Look around your home, in hardware stores, or even dollar stores and you’ll be in bondage heaven. Here are just a few ideas:
Scarves
Long scarves are fantastic as blindfolds, wrist bonds, and ties to bedposts. They even make a great dildo or vibrator harness. They’re easy to wash after play. Bathrobe belts and stockings are great, too. If you want to keep it green, recycle your old sheets by cutting them into bondage strips. Here are some scarf ties that we do in my Wrapped for Pleasure class:
Simple Scarf Wrist Tie
Equipment
Illustration 5.1. Simple scarf wrist tie
Directions
1. Bring the wrists together, separated by about an inch. Drape the scarf across the wrists. The midpoint should be between the wrists, with both ends hanging down.
2. Bring the two ends together below the wrists, and cross them with a twist, bringing the scarf parallel to the wrists. This is not a knot, just a twist.
3. Bring the two
The Escape Clause
Agree on a safeword or safe signal. Having one is especially important if you’re playing fantasy role-play sex games. Sometimes it’s fun to play at saying “No!” but your partner will feel more confident in the games when they know what the real “NO” sounds like. Tops also get to use a safeword if they don’t feel comfortable with what’s going on. Once you set a safeword or safe signal, respect it and abide by it. Solid trust is the foundation of fabulous bondage.
Oops Tools
Sometimes things don’t go the way you planned and the bondage needs to get undone quickly. Sometimes your plans for smooth unbinding go awry. Sometimes equipment fails. Have your “oops tools,” or contingency tools available. Emergency medical shears, which have rounded tips and cut easily through a variety of materials, are an essential part of your bondage toolkit. You may often hear them referred to as EMT (emergency medical technician) shears, and they’re available in most drugstores. They are great for rope, leather, cloth, tape, rubber, and other materials.
If you’re using devices that lock with a key, have several spares available. When using multiple padlocks, take the precaution of using locks with identical keys. Spare keys are a lot easier to hide and carry than giant bolt cutters, as well as being far more stylish.
Sweet Aftercare
How you wrap up your bondage experience is just as important as how you do the wrapping. Aftercare is what each participant wants and needs to transition from bondage play to everyday life. When you finish a delicious bondage experience, it’s like being in an altered state. Great sex in all forms can be like that. Rushing out of it can be jarring at best, and at worst it can put you in an intensely bad mood for a while. That happens often enough that it’s called a “drop.” Both bottoms and tops need aftercare, so schedule your play time with that in mind. How long it takes and what constitutes aftercare varies from person to person. Here are some examples:
• Sex
• Cuddling
• Talking about the fun you just had
• Being quiet
• Chocolate
• Time together
• Time alone
• Snacks and water
• Putting the tools away
• Ignoring the tools for now
Have the Right Tool for the Job
Gather the toys you want for play. This includes the bondage equipment as well as any sex toys, extension cords for vibrators, lube, pillows for propping up the body, slings and sex swings, and any other items you might want. I’d hate for you to be all tied up with the lube just out of reach! Don’t forget to turn off your phones before play, and select your bondage toys according to what feeds your appetites. I’ve listed below several varieties of toys and types of play for you to consider. You can also skip ahead to the First-Time Scenarios I’ve created for you.
TOOLS: DIY FUN AROUND THE HOME
No need to spend a fortune! DIY bondage is one of my favorite hobbies. Look around your home, in hardware stores, or even dollar stores and you’ll be in bondage heaven. Here are just a few ideas:
Scarves
Long scarves are fantastic as blindfolds, wrist bonds, and ties to bedposts. They even make a great dildo or vibrator harness. They’re easy to wash after play. Bathrobe belts and stockings are great, too. If you want to keep it green, recycle your old sheets by cutting them into bondage strips. Here are some scarf ties that we do in my Wrapped for Pleasure class:
Simple Scarf Wrist Tie
Equipment
Illustration 5.1. Simple scarf wrist tie
Directions
1. Bring the wrists together, separated by about an inch. Drape the scarf across the wrists. The midpoint should be between the wrists, with both ends hanging down.
2. Bring the two ends together below the wrists, and cross them with a twist, bringing the scarf parallel to the wrists. This is not a knot, just a twist.
3. Bring the two
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