every Saturday night. I never had enough to eat. He never let me have enough money to buy decent clothes. I was ashamed to go downtown. I never could go to the dances. My father and my uncle put rules in the way of everything I wanted to do. They tried to prevent my living at all.âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
Quickly.
No, go on. Finish what you were saying. Say it all.
HENRY:
In this scene itâs as though I were back in High School again. Itâs like I had some big emptiness inside me,âthe emptiness of being hated and blocked at every turn. And the emptiness fills up with the one thought that you have to strike and fight and kill. Listen, itâs as though you have to kill somebody else so as not to end up killing yourself.
SABINA:
Thatâs not true. I knew your father and your uncle and your mother. You imagined all that. Why, they did everything they could for you. How can you say things like that? They didnât lock you up.
HENRY:
They did. They did. They wished I hadnât been born.
SABINA:
Thatâs not true.
ANTROBUS:
In his own person, with self-condemnation, but cold and proud.
Wait a minute. I have something to say, too. Itâs not wholly his fault that he wants to strangle me in this scene. Itâs my fault, too. He wouldnât feel that way unless there were something in me that reminded him of all that. He talks about an emptiness. Well, thereâs an emptiness in me, too. Yes,âwork, work, work,âthatâs all I do. Iâve ceased to live. No wonder he feels that anger coming over him.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
There! At least youâve said it.
SABINA:
Weâre all just as wicked as we can be, and thatâs the Godâs truth.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
Nods a moment, then comes forward; quietly:
Come. Come and put your head under some cold water.
SABINA:
In a whisper.
Iâll go with him. Iâve known him a long while. You have to go on with the play. Come with me.
HENRY starts out with SABINA , but turns at the exit and says to ANTROBUS :
HENRY:
Thanks. Thanks for what you said. Iâll be all right tomorrow. I wonât lose control in that place. I promise.
Exeunt HENRY and SABINA .
ANTROBUS starts toward the front door, fastens it.
MRS. ANTROBUS : goes up stage and places the chair close to table.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
George, do I see you limping?
ANTROBUS:
Yes, a little. My old wound from the other war started smarting again. I can manage.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
Looking out of the window.
Some lights are coming on,âthe first in seven years. People are walking up and down looking at them. Over in Hawkinsâ open lot theyâve built a bonfire to celebrate the peace. Theyâre dancing around it like scarecrows.
ANTROBUS:
A bonfire! As though they hadnât seen enough things burning.âMaggie,âthe dog died?
MRS. ANTROBUS:
Oh, yes. Long ago. There are no dogs left in Excelsior.âYouâre back again! All these years. I gave up counting on letters. The few that arrived were anywhere from six months to a year late.
ANTROBUS:
Yes, the oceanâs full of letters, along with the other things.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
George, sit down, youâre tired.
ANTROBUS:
No, you sit down. Iâm tired but Iâm restless.
Suddenly, as she comes forward:
Maggie! Iâve lost it. Iâve lost it.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
What, George? What have you lost?
ANTROBUS:
The most important thing of all: The desire to begin again, to start building.
MRS. ANTROBUS:
Sitting in the chair right of the table.
Well, it will come back.
ANTROBUS:
At the window.
Iâve lost it. This minute I feel like all those people dancing around the bonfireâjust relief. Just the desire to settle down; to slip into the old grooves and keep the neighbors from walking over my lawn.âHm. But during the war,âin the middle of all that blood and dirt and hot and coldâevery day and night, Iâd have moments,
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