Clementine. Show up at sundown.’
‘I don’t have any transport.’
‘We’ll send a four in hand for you by God. With extra pillows so your arse will stay in one piece over the mountain road. Good to be in the old castle again. Needs some sprucing up. Get the old bedsteads out of the hedgerows. Put it there, Clementine. See you tonight.’
Lady Macfugger followed by a strutting Nails with a clatter of boot and jangle of spurs crossing the great hall. Through which the exprisoners were passing carrying a large potted tropical palm. Lady Macfugger raising one eyebrow which lowers as Elmer shoves his big black nosedeep between the cheeks of her arse, giving her person a push forwards.
‘Stop it Jeffrey.’
‘Wasn’t me sweetie.’
‘O it’s him, I thought it was you.’
‘There you are Clementine. What a chap does is reprimanded and a dog encouraged.’
‘I’m not encouraging.’
‘You loved that goose soon as you found it wasn’t me. Here’s another.’
‘Stop.’
‘You see how it is Clementine, strange dog’s nose preferred to a husband’s familiar finger.’
By the castle gates the scientists’ motor now standing on blocks without wheels. The Macfuggers mounting two monstrous gleaming black hunters. A rifle and shot gun strapped to Nails Macfugger’s saddle. And with hooves clattering and slipping on the stone cobbles, they smile, wave, and thunder off galloping down the roadway.
Percival laid out my clothes, a rather outsize dinner suit belonging to my father, a crumpled silk shirt, evening shoes and a pair of dark green socks. As the Macfuggers left I saw Rose out of the corner of my eye on the great hall landing. She stood glaring her upraised fists clenched. Returning to the castle I heard distant doors slamming. The three exprisoners, the Baron and Mr and Mrs L K L in the library. All bent over tomes. I went searching for some privacy. Found a likely vaulted doorway in the northwest wing at the end of a long passage. I pushed against the heavy oak. Locked. Then opening. And Erconwald confronting me with a bow.
‘Ah it is you kind person. I have retreated within here due to the disconcerting number of encounters one has in various chambers and passages.’
‘What were the exprisoners doing with that palm tree.’
‘Ah we have found many interesting specimens in your conservatory. Indeed there is a selection of orchids. I have taken the liberty of having four put in my bedroom. I did not want to trouble you. And the palm tree, in fact several,have been placed among the mambas. They are now quite content. Would you like to see them, they are through here in an adjoining room.’
‘O my God.’
‘You mustn’t alarm yourself good person.’
‘The wheels are off your car.’
‘Ah we regret that quantities of air have escaped through leaks in the tyres requiring us to make repairs.’
‘How long will that take.’
‘The tyres are at the crossroads waiting for the morning train. Franz at the moment is most excited. We may have favourable tidings for you soon.’
‘I should like the digging and drilling in the hall to stop.’
‘I deeply grieve to hear of your feelings in this matter. May I be bold enough to yet hope that you might reconsider and allow Franz to continue so that we may present you with good news. Indeed I hope you will not think it ill of me to make immediately a temporary amend.’
Erconwald standing his hands folded in front of him. Tears in his eyes. Ledgers open on a great oak table. Walls covered with axes, coils of fire hose and pram like vehicles supporting red water tanks. Erconwald reaching into his trouser pocket. Taking forth a wad of white bank notes. Peeling them off and holding them forth.
‘What’s this.’
‘For the unforgivable inconvenience we have caused you. Pray take it. It is offered merely as the merest of compensations. From the very deepest recess of my heart I ask that you will not refuse this pathetic token.’
Clementine
‘I don’t have any transport.’
‘We’ll send a four in hand for you by God. With extra pillows so your arse will stay in one piece over the mountain road. Good to be in the old castle again. Needs some sprucing up. Get the old bedsteads out of the hedgerows. Put it there, Clementine. See you tonight.’
Lady Macfugger followed by a strutting Nails with a clatter of boot and jangle of spurs crossing the great hall. Through which the exprisoners were passing carrying a large potted tropical palm. Lady Macfugger raising one eyebrow which lowers as Elmer shoves his big black nosedeep between the cheeks of her arse, giving her person a push forwards.
‘Stop it Jeffrey.’
‘Wasn’t me sweetie.’
‘O it’s him, I thought it was you.’
‘There you are Clementine. What a chap does is reprimanded and a dog encouraged.’
‘I’m not encouraging.’
‘You loved that goose soon as you found it wasn’t me. Here’s another.’
‘Stop.’
‘You see how it is Clementine, strange dog’s nose preferred to a husband’s familiar finger.’
By the castle gates the scientists’ motor now standing on blocks without wheels. The Macfuggers mounting two monstrous gleaming black hunters. A rifle and shot gun strapped to Nails Macfugger’s saddle. And with hooves clattering and slipping on the stone cobbles, they smile, wave, and thunder off galloping down the roadway.
Percival laid out my clothes, a rather outsize dinner suit belonging to my father, a crumpled silk shirt, evening shoes and a pair of dark green socks. As the Macfuggers left I saw Rose out of the corner of my eye on the great hall landing. She stood glaring her upraised fists clenched. Returning to the castle I heard distant doors slamming. The three exprisoners, the Baron and Mr and Mrs L K L in the library. All bent over tomes. I went searching for some privacy. Found a likely vaulted doorway in the northwest wing at the end of a long passage. I pushed against the heavy oak. Locked. Then opening. And Erconwald confronting me with a bow.
‘Ah it is you kind person. I have retreated within here due to the disconcerting number of encounters one has in various chambers and passages.’
‘What were the exprisoners doing with that palm tree.’
‘Ah we have found many interesting specimens in your conservatory. Indeed there is a selection of orchids. I have taken the liberty of having four put in my bedroom. I did not want to trouble you. And the palm tree, in fact several,have been placed among the mambas. They are now quite content. Would you like to see them, they are through here in an adjoining room.’
‘O my God.’
‘You mustn’t alarm yourself good person.’
‘The wheels are off your car.’
‘Ah we regret that quantities of air have escaped through leaks in the tyres requiring us to make repairs.’
‘How long will that take.’
‘The tyres are at the crossroads waiting for the morning train. Franz at the moment is most excited. We may have favourable tidings for you soon.’
‘I should like the digging and drilling in the hall to stop.’
‘I deeply grieve to hear of your feelings in this matter. May I be bold enough to yet hope that you might reconsider and allow Franz to continue so that we may present you with good news. Indeed I hope you will not think it ill of me to make immediately a temporary amend.’
Erconwald standing his hands folded in front of him. Tears in his eyes. Ledgers open on a great oak table. Walls covered with axes, coils of fire hose and pram like vehicles supporting red water tanks. Erconwald reaching into his trouser pocket. Taking forth a wad of white bank notes. Peeling them off and holding them forth.
‘What’s this.’
‘For the unforgivable inconvenience we have caused you. Pray take it. It is offered merely as the merest of compensations. From the very deepest recess of my heart I ask that you will not refuse this pathetic token.’
Clementine
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