Pygmalion and Three Other Plays (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) by George Bernard Shaw
Authors: George Bernard Shaw
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as leaven;
And they win their will; or they miss their will;
And their hopes are dead or are pined for still;
But whoe’ er can know
As the long days go
That to live is happy, has found his heaven. 23
My translation: what do you think of it?
UNDERSHAFT I think, my friend, that if you wish to know, as the long days go, that to live is happy, you must first acquire money enough for a decent life, and power enough to be your own master.
CUSINS You are damnably discouraging. [He resumes his declamation. ]
Is it so hard a thing to see
That the spirit of God—whate‘er it be—
The Law that abides and changes not, ages long,
The Eternal and Nature-born; thesethings be strong?
What else is Wisdom? What of Man’s endeavor,
Or God’s high grace so lovely and so great?
To stand from fear set free? to breathe and wait?
To hold a hand uplifted over Fate?
And shall not Barbara be loved for ever? 24
UNDER SHAFT Euripides mentions Barbara, does he?
CUSINS It is a fair translation. The word means Loveliness.
UNDERSHAFT May I ask—as Barbara’s father—how much a year she is to be loved for ever on?
CUSINS As Barbara’s father, that is more your affair than mine. I can feed her by teaching Greek: that is about all.
UNDERSHAFT Do you consider it a good match for her?
CUSINS [with polite obstinacy] Mr. Undershaft: I am in many ways a weak, timid, ineffectual person; and my health is far from satisfactory. But whenever I feel that I must have anything, I get it, sooner or later. I feel that way about Barbara. I dont like marriage: I feel intensely afraid of it; and I dont know what I shall do with Barbara or what she will do with me. But I feel that I and nobody else must marry her. Please regard that as settled.—Not that I wish to be arbitrary; but why should I waste your time in discussing what is inevitable?
UNDERSHAFT You mean that you will stick at nothing: not even the conversion of the Salvation Army to the worship of Dionysos.
CUSINS The business of the Salvation Army is to save, not to wrangle about the name of the pathfinder. Dionysos or another : what does it matter?
UNDERSHAFT [rising and approaching him] Professor Cusins: you are a young man after my own heart.
CUSINS Mr. Under shaft : you are, as far as I am able to gather, a most infernal old rascal; but you appeal very strongly to my sense of ironic humor.
UNDERSHAFT mutely offers his hand. They shake.
UNDERSHAFT [suddenly concentrating himself] And now to business.
CUSINS Pardon me. We were discussing religion. Why go back to such an uninteresting and unimportant subject as business?
UNDERSHAFT Religion is our business at present, because it is through religion alone that we can win Barbara.
CUSINS Have you, too, fallen in love with Barbara?
UNDERSHAFT Yes, with a father’s love.
CUSINS A father’s love for a grown-up daughter is the most dangerous of all infatuations. I apologize for mentioning my own pale, coy, mistrustful fancy in the same breath with it.
UNDERSHAFT Keep to the point. We have to win her; and we are neither of us Methodists. bf
CUSINS That doesnt matter. The power Barbara wields here—the power that wields Barbara herself—is not Calvinism, not Presbyterianism, not Methodism—
UNDERSHAFT Not Greek Paganism either, eh?
CUSINS I admit that. Barbara is quite original in her religion.
UNDERSHAFT [triumphantly] Aha! Barbara Undershaft would be. Her inspiration comes from within herself.
CUSINS How do you suppose it got there?
UNDERSHAFT [in towering excitement] It is the Undershaft inheritance. I shall hand on my torch to my daughter. She shall make my converts and preach my gospel—
CUSINS What! Money and gunpowder!
UNDERSHAFT Yes, money and gunpowder; freedom and power; command of life and command of death.
CUSINS [urbanely: trying to bring him down to earth] This is extremely interesting, Mr. Under shaft. Of course you know that you are mad.
UNDERSHAFT [with redoubled force] And you?
CUSINS Oh, mad as a hatter.
And they win their will; or they miss their will;
And their hopes are dead or are pined for still;
But whoe’ er can know
As the long days go
That to live is happy, has found his heaven. 23
My translation: what do you think of it?
UNDERSHAFT I think, my friend, that if you wish to know, as the long days go, that to live is happy, you must first acquire money enough for a decent life, and power enough to be your own master.
CUSINS You are damnably discouraging. [He resumes his declamation. ]
Is it so hard a thing to see
That the spirit of God—whate‘er it be—
The Law that abides and changes not, ages long,
The Eternal and Nature-born; thesethings be strong?
What else is Wisdom? What of Man’s endeavor,
Or God’s high grace so lovely and so great?
To stand from fear set free? to breathe and wait?
To hold a hand uplifted over Fate?
And shall not Barbara be loved for ever? 24
UNDER SHAFT Euripides mentions Barbara, does he?
CUSINS It is a fair translation. The word means Loveliness.
UNDERSHAFT May I ask—as Barbara’s father—how much a year she is to be loved for ever on?
CUSINS As Barbara’s father, that is more your affair than mine. I can feed her by teaching Greek: that is about all.
UNDERSHAFT Do you consider it a good match for her?
CUSINS [with polite obstinacy] Mr. Undershaft: I am in many ways a weak, timid, ineffectual person; and my health is far from satisfactory. But whenever I feel that I must have anything, I get it, sooner or later. I feel that way about Barbara. I dont like marriage: I feel intensely afraid of it; and I dont know what I shall do with Barbara or what she will do with me. But I feel that I and nobody else must marry her. Please regard that as settled.—Not that I wish to be arbitrary; but why should I waste your time in discussing what is inevitable?
UNDERSHAFT You mean that you will stick at nothing: not even the conversion of the Salvation Army to the worship of Dionysos.
CUSINS The business of the Salvation Army is to save, not to wrangle about the name of the pathfinder. Dionysos or another : what does it matter?
UNDERSHAFT [rising and approaching him] Professor Cusins: you are a young man after my own heart.
CUSINS Mr. Under shaft : you are, as far as I am able to gather, a most infernal old rascal; but you appeal very strongly to my sense of ironic humor.
UNDERSHAFT mutely offers his hand. They shake.
UNDERSHAFT [suddenly concentrating himself] And now to business.
CUSINS Pardon me. We were discussing religion. Why go back to such an uninteresting and unimportant subject as business?
UNDERSHAFT Religion is our business at present, because it is through religion alone that we can win Barbara.
CUSINS Have you, too, fallen in love with Barbara?
UNDERSHAFT Yes, with a father’s love.
CUSINS A father’s love for a grown-up daughter is the most dangerous of all infatuations. I apologize for mentioning my own pale, coy, mistrustful fancy in the same breath with it.
UNDERSHAFT Keep to the point. We have to win her; and we are neither of us Methodists. bf
CUSINS That doesnt matter. The power Barbara wields here—the power that wields Barbara herself—is not Calvinism, not Presbyterianism, not Methodism—
UNDERSHAFT Not Greek Paganism either, eh?
CUSINS I admit that. Barbara is quite original in her religion.
UNDERSHAFT [triumphantly] Aha! Barbara Undershaft would be. Her inspiration comes from within herself.
CUSINS How do you suppose it got there?
UNDERSHAFT [in towering excitement] It is the Undershaft inheritance. I shall hand on my torch to my daughter. She shall make my converts and preach my gospel—
CUSINS What! Money and gunpowder!
UNDERSHAFT Yes, money and gunpowder; freedom and power; command of life and command of death.
CUSINS [urbanely: trying to bring him down to earth] This is extremely interesting, Mr. Under shaft. Of course you know that you are mad.
UNDERSHAFT [with redoubled force] And you?
CUSINS Oh, mad as a hatter.
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