Parenting the ADD Child: Can't Do? Won't Do? Practical Strategies for Managing Behaviour Problems in Children with ADD and ADHD by David Pentecost Page B
Authors: David Pentecost
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the short
term.
Time Out works by:
• repetition
• consistency of purpose
• persistence of approach
• determination to succeed.
The Time Out recipe
Ingredients
1 chair (child size)
1 quiet spot in the house (free of TV and toys to play with)
1 child, refusing to do as she had been told
Vast amounts of patience, resolution, determination and selfcontrol
Method
1. Put the chair in the quiet spot. This is now christened 'the
Time-Out Chair'. Introduce your child to it. Tell her what it is
for. Leave until ready for use.
2. Tell your child, who is now throwing a tantrum and not doing
as she is told, 'If you don't stop that ... [e.g. tantrum, pinching]
by the time I count to three, I'll put you on the Time-Out
Chair'.
3. Start counting out loud, 'That's one...'. Pause a few seconds to
see if she stops. If she doesn't, continue: 'That's two.' Your face
should be resolute and determined, but not angry. Your voice
should be calm - no shouting. If your child has not stopped by
'three!' lead her to the Chair and say these exact words: 'I told
you to stop that... [tantrum, pinching, etc.]. Sit on the Chair
until I tell you to get off!' Place her on the Chair and walk
away.
4. Wait for as long as you judge is right (say about a minute for
every year of her age), and when she is quiet tell her she can
get off the Time-Out Chair. Then carry on as before.
Sitting on a chair for several minutes is not harmful (despite the dramatic performance you get). It should be well within the capabilities
of an ADD child.
5. If your child repeats the some naughty behaviour, pick her up -
even if she protests vigorously, and put her back on the Chair.
Tell her again: 'I already told you to stop that [tantrum,
pinching, etc.]. Sit on the Chair until I tell you to get off!'
Walk away and ignore.
6. Repeat as many times as necessary.
So let's begin.
Here are the key actions for Time Out. They are so straightforward that
for fun I have presented them in a way that any cook would be proud of. But
just because it looks simple don't be fooled into thinking it is. It is definitely
not easy, and there is plenty I need to tell you to make it a success.
Key action 1 - read the Time Out recipe
As you read I suggest you think about:
how controlled you will have to be
how long this process may take
how repetitive it will be
• the support you may need to follow through.
NOTE
A warning before you set out: do not start the Time Out technique unless you are
definitely going to see it right through to the end!
Pause for a moment before you carry on reading. Think carefully about the
very first instruction - `Do not start the technique unless you are going to see it
through to the end.' Repetition of Time Out is the key to getting your child to
learn. But doing it over and over is very hard work. You really have to
persevere. You have to show you mean business. You have to show clearly you
will not compromise and will not take no for an answer.
Because Time Out is so demanding of you at the beginning, I suggest that
at first you only use it to target the naughty behaviours that are your top
priority to shift. By limiting the range of behaviours you apply it to, you will
be giving yourself the best chance of being as consistent and resolute as you
need to be.
Key action 2 - list difficult behaviours
Go to the list that you produced on page 121. Take from that list any
behaviours that have not been shifted by the HPS alone and are still causing
conflict. Draw up a new list:
Target these behaviours:
1. Swearing at me
2. Thumping your brother
3.-n.
This is now your action plan. When your child challenges with one of the
behaviours on the list, you go into action with Time Out.
How the technique works
I will now take you through the Time Out recipe stage by stage so as to put
some more detail on to the bare bones.
1. Put the chair in the quiet spot. This is now christened 'the
Time-Out
term.
Time Out works by:
• repetition
• consistency of purpose
• persistence of approach
• determination to succeed.
The Time Out recipe
Ingredients
1 chair (child size)
1 quiet spot in the house (free of TV and toys to play with)
1 child, refusing to do as she had been told
Vast amounts of patience, resolution, determination and selfcontrol
Method
1. Put the chair in the quiet spot. This is now christened 'the
Time-Out Chair'. Introduce your child to it. Tell her what it is
for. Leave until ready for use.
2. Tell your child, who is now throwing a tantrum and not doing
as she is told, 'If you don't stop that ... [e.g. tantrum, pinching]
by the time I count to three, I'll put you on the Time-Out
Chair'.
3. Start counting out loud, 'That's one...'. Pause a few seconds to
see if she stops. If she doesn't, continue: 'That's two.' Your face
should be resolute and determined, but not angry. Your voice
should be calm - no shouting. If your child has not stopped by
'three!' lead her to the Chair and say these exact words: 'I told
you to stop that... [tantrum, pinching, etc.]. Sit on the Chair
until I tell you to get off!' Place her on the Chair and walk
away.
4. Wait for as long as you judge is right (say about a minute for
every year of her age), and when she is quiet tell her she can
get off the Time-Out Chair. Then carry on as before.
Sitting on a chair for several minutes is not harmful (despite the dramatic performance you get). It should be well within the capabilities
of an ADD child.
5. If your child repeats the some naughty behaviour, pick her up -
even if she protests vigorously, and put her back on the Chair.
Tell her again: 'I already told you to stop that [tantrum,
pinching, etc.]. Sit on the Chair until I tell you to get off!'
Walk away and ignore.
6. Repeat as many times as necessary.
So let's begin.
Here are the key actions for Time Out. They are so straightforward that
for fun I have presented them in a way that any cook would be proud of. But
just because it looks simple don't be fooled into thinking it is. It is definitely
not easy, and there is plenty I need to tell you to make it a success.
Key action 1 - read the Time Out recipe
As you read I suggest you think about:
how controlled you will have to be
how long this process may take
how repetitive it will be
• the support you may need to follow through.
NOTE
A warning before you set out: do not start the Time Out technique unless you are
definitely going to see it right through to the end!
Pause for a moment before you carry on reading. Think carefully about the
very first instruction - `Do not start the technique unless you are going to see it
through to the end.' Repetition of Time Out is the key to getting your child to
learn. But doing it over and over is very hard work. You really have to
persevere. You have to show you mean business. You have to show clearly you
will not compromise and will not take no for an answer.
Because Time Out is so demanding of you at the beginning, I suggest that
at first you only use it to target the naughty behaviours that are your top
priority to shift. By limiting the range of behaviours you apply it to, you will
be giving yourself the best chance of being as consistent and resolute as you
need to be.
Key action 2 - list difficult behaviours
Go to the list that you produced on page 121. Take from that list any
behaviours that have not been shifted by the HPS alone and are still causing
conflict. Draw up a new list:
Target these behaviours:
1. Swearing at me
2. Thumping your brother
3.-n.
This is now your action plan. When your child challenges with one of the
behaviours on the list, you go into action with Time Out.
How the technique works
I will now take you through the Time Out recipe stage by stage so as to put
some more detail on to the bare bones.
1. Put the chair in the quiet spot. This is now christened 'the
Time-Out
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