Heroine.”
“Oh, so now you admit that Deirdre’s real!”
She ignored my challenge. “This is very bad. A Hero’s come looking for a Heroine! It’s the worst possible scenario.”
“When can I go home? I’m supposed to meet him today.”
“You can never meet him again.”
“He needs my help to capture Deirdre!”
“You will absolutely not go near him. And you will not betray Deirdre!”
“You care more about her than you do about me.”
“Nonsense.”
“What are you going to do? Lock me in my room for the rest of my life?”
Mother swallowed and smoothed her hands down her skirt. She raised her chin and nodded her head. She kept nodding, as if the repetitive, up-and-down movement would affirm what she said next. “You’ll be staying here a couple days.”
“In the loony bin? You can’t make me!”
“It’s too risky for you to be back at home with that man running around.”
“Send me somewhere. To Grandma and Grandpa’s.”
“They’re in France.”
“But I’m not crazy!” I shouted like a crazy person.
“Are they gonna find THC in your bloodstream, Penny?”
“I dunno.”
“You told me you weren’t smoking pot anymore. That it was just that once.”
“A few hits with Albie aren’t going to kill me.”
“Well, that’ll seal the deal!” She threw up her arms, reminding me of Grandmother Entwhistle. “You can blame yourself for being here, not me.”
I could kick myself for getting high with Albie the day before, for going along out of boredom again.
“Talking things over with someone will do you some good. Everybody benefits from that. Dr. Keller said there are wonderful groups here.”
“Right. You want me to tell Dr. Keller that Madame Bovary lived with us? Or should I tell him how you slapped me?”
“Don’t—” Mother pressed the heels of her hands to her skull. “You need a haven, Penny. At least until I figure out how to deal with Deirdre.”
“Can’t commit her, huh?”
“I’m not committing you. I’ve checked into things.” She glanced at the door and leaned closer. “If I sign you in, I can sign you out anytime. The doctor’s insisting that if I take you home against medical advice, we’ll lose our insurance.”
Insurance didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I started to cry, hot furious tears. “Lacrosse practice starts in two weeks! Why did you bring me here at all?” I felt a trickle of sweat drip down from my armpit. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was one of those girls who were put away. This did not fit my vision of myself, and I shook with the shock of it, my shoulders pinned up near my ears.
“Shhh.” Mother stood up and watched me cry, afraid, I think, to disturb my sorrow, or maybe afraid to say the wrong thing. A few moments after I’d heaved a moaning sigh without manufacturing any tears, Mother put a hand on my cheek. “I found Deirdre’s story. I went to the library as soon as it opened. It’s an ancient Irish folktale. Pre-Christian.”
I was glad to hear that Conor didn’t come from a second-rate novel. His was just a very old story, maybe one of the first stories. “How’d Deirdre wind up?”
“The doctor’s probably going to come in any minute.”
“C’mon. What’s with Conor? Good guy or bad?”
“Very bad.”
I didn’t want to believe this, but I could. The warm feelings I’d felt the night before flooded my body. I wished he’d ride up on his horse and carry me away from the hospital, maybe even transport me to ancient times. What would happen to him if I didn’t return?
“Are the cops still looking for him?”
Mother shook her head. “They went to talk to your boyfriend. To Albie. That was the only possible lead.”
“You know he’s not my boyfriend.” Albie and I had such a weird relationship. If we saw each other outside the woods, say in the library or in the town square, we’d ignore each other completely. “His mom’ll have a conniption. Then she’ll tell everybody
“Oh, so now you admit that Deirdre’s real!”
She ignored my challenge. “This is very bad. A Hero’s come looking for a Heroine! It’s the worst possible scenario.”
“When can I go home? I’m supposed to meet him today.”
“You can never meet him again.”
“He needs my help to capture Deirdre!”
“You will absolutely not go near him. And you will not betray Deirdre!”
“You care more about her than you do about me.”
“Nonsense.”
“What are you going to do? Lock me in my room for the rest of my life?”
Mother swallowed and smoothed her hands down her skirt. She raised her chin and nodded her head. She kept nodding, as if the repetitive, up-and-down movement would affirm what she said next. “You’ll be staying here a couple days.”
“In the loony bin? You can’t make me!”
“It’s too risky for you to be back at home with that man running around.”
“Send me somewhere. To Grandma and Grandpa’s.”
“They’re in France.”
“But I’m not crazy!” I shouted like a crazy person.
“Are they gonna find THC in your bloodstream, Penny?”
“I dunno.”
“You told me you weren’t smoking pot anymore. That it was just that once.”
“A few hits with Albie aren’t going to kill me.”
“Well, that’ll seal the deal!” She threw up her arms, reminding me of Grandmother Entwhistle. “You can blame yourself for being here, not me.”
I could kick myself for getting high with Albie the day before, for going along out of boredom again.
“Talking things over with someone will do you some good. Everybody benefits from that. Dr. Keller said there are wonderful groups here.”
“Right. You want me to tell Dr. Keller that Madame Bovary lived with us? Or should I tell him how you slapped me?”
“Don’t—” Mother pressed the heels of her hands to her skull. “You need a haven, Penny. At least until I figure out how to deal with Deirdre.”
“Can’t commit her, huh?”
“I’m not committing you. I’ve checked into things.” She glanced at the door and leaned closer. “If I sign you in, I can sign you out anytime. The doctor’s insisting that if I take you home against medical advice, we’ll lose our insurance.”
Insurance didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I started to cry, hot furious tears. “Lacrosse practice starts in two weeks! Why did you bring me here at all?” I felt a trickle of sweat drip down from my armpit. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was one of those girls who were put away. This did not fit my vision of myself, and I shook with the shock of it, my shoulders pinned up near my ears.
“Shhh.” Mother stood up and watched me cry, afraid, I think, to disturb my sorrow, or maybe afraid to say the wrong thing. A few moments after I’d heaved a moaning sigh without manufacturing any tears, Mother put a hand on my cheek. “I found Deirdre’s story. I went to the library as soon as it opened. It’s an ancient Irish folktale. Pre-Christian.”
I was glad to hear that Conor didn’t come from a second-rate novel. His was just a very old story, maybe one of the first stories. “How’d Deirdre wind up?”
“The doctor’s probably going to come in any minute.”
“C’mon. What’s with Conor? Good guy or bad?”
“Very bad.”
I didn’t want to believe this, but I could. The warm feelings I’d felt the night before flooded my body. I wished he’d ride up on his horse and carry me away from the hospital, maybe even transport me to ancient times. What would happen to him if I didn’t return?
“Are the cops still looking for him?”
Mother shook her head. “They went to talk to your boyfriend. To Albie. That was the only possible lead.”
“You know he’s not my boyfriend.” Albie and I had such a weird relationship. If we saw each other outside the woods, say in the library or in the town square, we’d ignore each other completely. “His mom’ll have a conniption. Then she’ll tell everybody
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