one for having feelings. He would have just as soon gone on a minesweeping mission as have a heart-to-heart with a woman. But Lara deserved the truth from him. “I wasn’t just passing time with you. I meant everything.” Okay. There it was. Do with that what you will.
She gave him a stunned look, then shook her head. “I can’t deal with all that now. Let’s get the twins back first. Then we can talk about the rest.”
Thank God above. She didn’t want to talk. “Fair enough,” he said quickly before she could change her mind. You never knew with a woman. But when she did talk, she seemed to have a completely different topic on her mind. “How did you learn to bake?” she asked after a few minutes. Probably to distract herself, or maybe because she, too, had been thinking about that brief week they’d spent together two years ago.
They had time and she needed a distraction, so he decided to tell her, although he couldn’t remember the last time he’d shared anything personal about his past with anyone, not even his SDDU buddies.
“My grandfather was an old-fashioned English country baker. I was pretty young when he died. To keep his memory alive, my mom and I baked one of his recipes every Sunday. I thought that was the height of indignity for a boy. I would have rather been playing ball with my friends outside. But she was so broken up. I faked it for her at the beginning, then the thing grew on me.
“In high school, I got a job at the local bakery to save up for college. When I got kicked out of Penn State for fighting and went into the army, I enlisted as a cook. Then I left the army and did other things.” He left that topic alone. “Anyway, when I had to go undercover in Hopeville, we looked at a couple of covers. There was the empty bakery right in the same strip mall where Jimmy had his gun shop. Seemed like a good fit. Perfect to keep an eye on him and whoever was coming and going.”
“You know that crusty roll recipe you showed me?” she asked quietly.
He nodded.
“I still make it.”
Something turned over in his chest, the same funny feeling he’d had when she’d told him that she still visited his grave. The pull he felt toward her, both physical and emotional, was getting more and more difficult to resist. Good thing he’d made up his mind early on that nothing was going to happen between them this time. What he could give her—precious little—was not what she needed. He’d broken the rules with her once. To break them again would be unforgivably selfish.
“So tell me about this boyfriend of yours. Allen,” he said, then winced when her eyes grew somber.
“Do you think he’s okay?” She bit her lower lip. “If anything happens to him… He has nothing to do with anything. I couldn’t forgive myself if—” She swallowed hard and looked away.
Damn. With everything that was going on, he’d forgotten to tell her the news.
“He’s fine. I got a call just before I came back to the safe house and found the boys gone and Ben shot. I forgot to tell you. Sorry.” He rolled his shoulders. “So this guy, he matters to you?”
“He’s okay? Oh, thank God.” She slumped back, squeezing her eyes shut for a second, drawing a deep breath. “He’s nice. We were just getting to know each other.”
He wasn’t sure how he would have felt if she’d said she was in love with the man. When he tried to picture Allen by her side, as her lover, as stepfather to the twins, the hot rage that flooded through him left him unbalanced.
“Well, he’s right as rain,” he said. She needed to hear something positive, even if he wasn’t nearly as relieved by the news as she seemed to be.
She was lost in her thoughts for the rest of the ride, and he let her be, most topics of conversation suddenly seeming a minefield between them. Once they got to the cabin, he left her in the car while he walked the cooler over to a waiting Hummer.
“I appreciate this,” he told Cade as they
She gave him a stunned look, then shook her head. “I can’t deal with all that now. Let’s get the twins back first. Then we can talk about the rest.”
Thank God above. She didn’t want to talk. “Fair enough,” he said quickly before she could change her mind. You never knew with a woman. But when she did talk, she seemed to have a completely different topic on her mind. “How did you learn to bake?” she asked after a few minutes. Probably to distract herself, or maybe because she, too, had been thinking about that brief week they’d spent together two years ago.
They had time and she needed a distraction, so he decided to tell her, although he couldn’t remember the last time he’d shared anything personal about his past with anyone, not even his SDDU buddies.
“My grandfather was an old-fashioned English country baker. I was pretty young when he died. To keep his memory alive, my mom and I baked one of his recipes every Sunday. I thought that was the height of indignity for a boy. I would have rather been playing ball with my friends outside. But she was so broken up. I faked it for her at the beginning, then the thing grew on me.
“In high school, I got a job at the local bakery to save up for college. When I got kicked out of Penn State for fighting and went into the army, I enlisted as a cook. Then I left the army and did other things.” He left that topic alone. “Anyway, when I had to go undercover in Hopeville, we looked at a couple of covers. There was the empty bakery right in the same strip mall where Jimmy had his gun shop. Seemed like a good fit. Perfect to keep an eye on him and whoever was coming and going.”
“You know that crusty roll recipe you showed me?” she asked quietly.
He nodded.
“I still make it.”
Something turned over in his chest, the same funny feeling he’d had when she’d told him that she still visited his grave. The pull he felt toward her, both physical and emotional, was getting more and more difficult to resist. Good thing he’d made up his mind early on that nothing was going to happen between them this time. What he could give her—precious little—was not what she needed. He’d broken the rules with her once. To break them again would be unforgivably selfish.
“So tell me about this boyfriend of yours. Allen,” he said, then winced when her eyes grew somber.
“Do you think he’s okay?” She bit her lower lip. “If anything happens to him… He has nothing to do with anything. I couldn’t forgive myself if—” She swallowed hard and looked away.
Damn. With everything that was going on, he’d forgotten to tell her the news.
“He’s fine. I got a call just before I came back to the safe house and found the boys gone and Ben shot. I forgot to tell you. Sorry.” He rolled his shoulders. “So this guy, he matters to you?”
“He’s okay? Oh, thank God.” She slumped back, squeezing her eyes shut for a second, drawing a deep breath. “He’s nice. We were just getting to know each other.”
He wasn’t sure how he would have felt if she’d said she was in love with the man. When he tried to picture Allen by her side, as her lover, as stepfather to the twins, the hot rage that flooded through him left him unbalanced.
“Well, he’s right as rain,” he said. She needed to hear something positive, even if he wasn’t nearly as relieved by the news as she seemed to be.
She was lost in her thoughts for the rest of the ride, and he let her be, most topics of conversation suddenly seeming a minefield between them. Once they got to the cabin, he left her in the car while he walked the cooler over to a waiting Hummer.
“I appreciate this,” he told Cade as they
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