Pants on Fire

Pants on Fire by Casia Schreyer

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Authors: Casia Schreyer
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in touch with you but your mother wouldn’t give me your number.”
     
    “Yeah, my mom is over protective like that. I’m sorry I didn’t call before you checked out, I meant to, I just got so caught up at work that I lost track of days.”
     
    “Speaking of work, working in television was a bit of an understatement.”
     
    “Less of an understatement than ‘I work for a hotel chain doing nothing in particular’.”
     
    “Yeah, okay, point taken. So, Miss Maizy Daisy? I never would have guessed it. Why didn’t you tell me?”
     
    “Do you know how many guys I have told? They either bolt because they don’t want to be Mr. Maizy Daisy in the press or they want me to bring the clown costume home in the evenings.” She shuddered and took a bite of her supper. “Wow, this is really good fish.”
     
    “Why did you decide to become Miss Maizy Daisy?”
     
    “I like fun. I’m not really a clown or anything, I never graduated from Clown College and my face isn’t registered. I’m just a children’s performer with a funny face and a wig. I like kids, I like crafts, I like being silly.”
     
    “That makes a lot of sense. I think it suits you.”
     
    “What about you, Mr. Mathers? I asked you straight out what you did at this hotel chain you worked for and you blatantly lied to me.”
     
    “I know, I’m sorry, but you of all people should understand. I really hope you’ll understand.” He paused to pour more wine and smiled at her. “Since you’re not driving anywhere tonight.”
     
    “What should I understand?”
     
    He sighed. “Ever since college I’ve been the Tyler Mathers, heir to the hotel chain and all the money and prestige that goes with it. At parties I’m always introduced as ‘Tyler Mathers, he’s in the hotel business,’ because people want to show off their connections. That means that every young woman I meet already knows how big my bank account is.”
     
    “So that horrible date, when she broke up with you for not taking her shopping …”
     
    “Yeah, that was a bad one. She wanted me to foot all her credit card bills, and that girl had expensive tastes. The others were more casual and subtle about it, acting interested in me, in my interests, but they’d get bored and start wanting to travel to Europe on my family’s jet, or stay for free in any hotel my father owned, or they wanted me to fund their modeling or acting career, the list really does go on but you get the point.”
     
    “You thought if I found out you were the Tyler Mathers that I’d start asking for money?”
     
    He shrugged. “Every woman I’ve ever dated has wanted my money, it’s not an optimistic track record. I thought even if the money didn’t matter that you’d run out because I’d been lying.”
     
    She shook her head. “I didn’t want to scare you off and you didn’t want to know if my feelings could actually be strong enough to resist your money. What a pair of cowardly liars we are. And what a lot of useless, emotional baggage we’re carrying.”
     
    “You mean Bryce?”
     
    “I mean all of it. My cheating ex, the creeps who like kinky sex with clowns, the men who were scared of being involved with me, the women afraid of being involved with you, the greedy whores who wanted your money …”
     
    “For a children’s entertainer you sure swear a lot.”
     
    “And my father chides me for it every chance he gets. I keep my private life very private.”
     
    He put a hand over hers. “I’m glad to hear that. They gave you and Bernie separate rooms, right?”
     
    Megan nodded. “Why?”
     
    “Because I missed you and I want to apologize to you for all the stupidity.”
     
    “Apology accepted.”
     
    He got out of his chair, came around the table, and kissed her deeply. “I’m not done apologizing.”
     
    “I’m on tour. I can’t be seen having an affair with Tyler Mathers in his own hotel, my producers will cancel the show.”
     
    “Go upstairs, get

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