Mr. Macky Is Wacky! by Dan Gutman Page B

noodles,” said Mr. Macky.
    â€œChickens have fingers, too,” said Michael. “My mom gives me chicken fingers for lunch all the time.”
    â€œChickens have nuggets, too,” I added.
    â€œThey do not,” said Andrea.
    â€œDo too,” I told her.
    â€œDo not.”
    We went back and forth like that for a while.
    â€œLet’s discuss chickens some other time,” said Miss Daisy. “I think Mr. Mackyis here to talk about Presidents’ Day.”

    â€œRight you are,” said Mr. Macky. “I had an idea to promote reading at Ella Mentry School. In celebration of Presidents’ Day, we’re going to read all about the presidents. We’re going to learn a lot. Each of you is going to give an oral report * on a president. You’ll even get to dress up as your president. The whole school will be involved. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
    â€œYeah!” said all the girls.
    â€œNo!” said all the boys.
    Why is it that girls always want to read books, learn stuff, give reports, and play dress-up? What is their problem? Girls are weird.
    How come we never celebrate anything by sitting around and watching big-screen TVs?
    â€œI think it’s a great idea,” said Miss Daisy (a girl, of course). “I don’t know anything about the presidents.”
    Of course not. Miss Daisy doesn’t know anything about anything . I can’t believe she got a job as a teacher.
    â€œI think it’s a great idea too,” said Andrea, the big brownnoser. “When did you get this great idea, Mr. Macky?”
    â€œFour score and seven years ago,” he replied.
    â€œI can’t wait to get started on my oral report!” Andrea said, all excited. “I’m going to work really hard and do the best job I can.”
    â€œCan you possibly be any more boring?” I asked her.
    â€œI have to go now,” Mr. Macky said, “because I have a lot of things to read. I have to read the newspaper. Then I have to read the back of the cereal box. Then I have to read the graffiti in the bathroom. Then I have to read the phone book.”
    That guy sure loves reading. He’s weird.

4
Abraham Lincoln’s Face
    â€œWho can tell us something about the real Abraham Lincoln?” Miss Daisy asked after Mr. Macky left with his hat and beard.
    â€œ Lincoln rhymes with stinkin’ ,” I said.
    â€œTrue….”
    â€œAbraham Lincoln’s face is on the penny,” said Andrea.

    â€œThat’s right!” said Miss Daisy. Andrea looked all proud of herself. I hate her.
    â€œHe should take that penny off his face,” I said. “No,” Andrea said, “I mean his face is on the penny.”
    â€œHow did he hold the penny on his face?” Ryan asked. “With glue?”
    â€œThat’s disgusting,” said Michael. “I wouldn’t put glue on my face.”
    â€œHe was probably trying to cover up his pimples,” I told them. “When my big sister has pimples, she won’t even go outside.”
    â€œEnough chitchat,” said Miss Daisy, clapping her hands again. “Let’s look at our crazy pets now.”
    I still say Abraham Lincoln was weird to put pennies on his face.
    We took some of the animals out of their cages and looked at them. Ryan told us about his hermit crab. Hermit crabs are really boring. They don’t do anything ! You can hardly even tell when they die, because they do the same stuffdead that they did when they were alive. Nothing! Hermit crabs are weird.

    Annette told us about her bird. It was boring too, because it didn’t talk or anything. The only cool birds are the ones that talk.
    Neil the nude kid told us about his ferret. He said ferrets have really bad eyesight and they poop when they get excited. We all said we’d try not to get Mr. Wiggles excited. Everybody thought he was cool, even if he looked sort of disgusting.
    Emily said