Mr. Macky Is Wacky! by Dan Gutman Page A

talented program.
    â€œEnough chitchat,” said Miss Daisy. “I’m still waiting for somebody to tell me why Presidents’ Day is special.”
    Nobody else raised their hand, so Miss Daisy called on Miss Smarty Pants I-Know-More-Than-You-Do. Why can’t a bunch of presidents fall on her head?
    â€œPresidents’ Day is the day we honor—”
    Andrea never got the chance to finish her sentence because at that very moment, the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened.
    I’m not going to tell you what it was.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you!

2
Mr. Macky’s Fake Beard
    Hahaha! I knew you’d keep reading!
    While Andrea was telling us why Presidents’ Day was special, this tall, skinny guy walked into the class. He was wearing a dark suit, a big hat, and a really fake beard. And he was holding a can of chicken noodle soup.

    â€œIt’s Abraham Lincoln!” shouted Emily, who looked like she just saw afamous rock star or something. “He’s my favorite president!”
    I slapped my head. That girl Emily will fall for anything.
    â€œAbraham Lincoln died like a million hundred years ago, dumbhead!” I told her.
    â€œYou’re mean!” Emily said. Then she started crying and went running out of the room.
    What a crybaby! All I did was call her a dumbhead, which she is .
    Everybody knew the guy in the hat and beard was Mr. Macky, the reading specialist at Ella Mentry School.
    â€œYou’re Mr. Macky!” Neil the nudekid shouted.
    â€œNo, I’m not,” Mr. Macky said in this really fake low voice. “The young lady was correct. My name is Abraham Lincoln. When I was a boy, I lived in a log cabin. We were so poor that I had to write on a shovel by candlelight.”
    â€œYou’re not Abraham Lincoln!” we all yelled. “You’re Mr. Macky!”
    â€œOkay, okay! I thought I could fool you.”
    Mr. Macky pulled off his hat and fake beard and tossed them on the floor. That’s when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened.
    Emily came back in the room!

    Well, that wasn’t the amazing part. Emily comes back in the room all the time. The amazing part was that when she came back, Emily stepped on Mr. Macky’s fake beard.
    â€œEEEEEEEEEEEK!” she screamed. “A rat!”
    Emily slipped and fell. She was on the floor, freaking out. It was hilarious. We were all cracking up.
    â€œIt’s not a rat,” I told Emily. “It’s just Mr. Macky’s fake beard, dumbhead!”
    Emily started crying and went running out of the room again.
    She’s weird.

3
If You Read This, You’ll Go Blind
    Mr. Macky was reading that soup can he brought into our class.
    â€œI love to read,” said Mr. Macky. “Don’t you?”
    â€œYeah!” said all the girls.
    â€œNo!” said all the boys.
    Mr. Macky is always trying to get us toread. What is his problem? Doesn’t he know that reading is a big bore? Why are you even reading this book? If I were you, I’d be doing something worthwhile, like watching a big-screen TV. The only books worth reading are Dr. Seuss books. He was cool.
    My friend Billy who lives around the corner told me that if you read too much, you’ll go blind. Homework involves a lot of reading. So, just to be on the safe side, I’m going to stop doing my homework so I won’t go blind.
    â€œMr. Macky, why do you have a can of chicken noodle soup?” asked Michael.
    â€œI was reading the label,” he said.
    â€œReading can take you on a journey.”
    â€œSo can watching TV,” I said.
    â€œYes, but you can learn so much more by reading,” said Mr. Macky, “because you can use your imagination. I’ll read anything.”
    â€œBut what can you learn from a soup can?” asked Ryan.
    â€œI learned that chickens have