Moonlight Murder: An Inept Witches Mystery by Amanda A. Allen, Auburn Seal

whatever it was off and pulled the covers over her head. “ I don ’ t want to get up. ”
    “ Hey, murder, ghost, etcetera, ” Emily reminded Ingrid.
    “ No, ” she whined, pulling back the covers enough to peek at the window. It was gray and raining and demanded that she stay in her makeshift bed.
    “ Murder. Gabe. Etcetera. ”
    “ I ’ m broken up with Gabe. He doesn ’ t rule me. He doesn ’ t get to make me get out of bed early without even a morning snuggle. ”
    “ I don ’ t, ” Emily interjected, kicking the couch, “ need to know about your snuggles or whatever you call them. ”
    “ Dirty-minded dove, ” Ingrid said, rubbing her cheek against her pillow and thinking about trying to revisit the lovely dream she was just having. Except, Gabe.
    Damn it.
    She sat up and lifted the package Emily brought. It was a 9-pack of superhero underwear for women.
    “ I figured since Sheriff Hotpants isn ’ t in your pants anymore you could have Superman. ”
    “ Batman, ” Ingrid said, ripping open the package and stumbling towards the shower. “ I ’ m done with goody-two-shoes. Batman would probably bury a body. ”
    “ Batman and Superman don ’ t kill. Everyone knows this. You better take the Joker ones. ”
    Ingrid took a quick shower, dressed, and added makeup. She wasn ’ t going to look like crap even if she felt like someone had punched her in the gut.
    “ Well aren ’ t you fancy today, ” Emily said, watching Ingrid add liquid eyeliner. Emily pushed a cup of coffee over that just smelled wrong.
    “ Oh no, ” Ingrid said. “ No. ”
    She shoved it aside, examined her face, and tightened a fine line around her mouth. Magic was a beautiful thing and why she still looked 25 even though she ’ d passed the big 3-0.
    She dumped out the coffee Emily had attempted and made them both something new. Ingrid went super sweet and milky. Emily got hers dark for her bitter soul and her snarky underwear delivery. Considering Ingrid had been pantsed by a ghost, though, she was wearing the Batman underwear and jeans. She ’ d added a St. Maarten ’ s hoodie for comfort. Emily, on the other hand, was wearing daisy dukes, a tank top, flip flips and a hoodie.
    “ We ’ re not in the tropics anymore, ” Ingrid said.
    “ I was hot. ”
    Ingrid looked her smug friend over and said, “ You whore, you totally did Dumb as a Rock yesterday. Unless …”
    “ It was not Deputy Dumbass. In addition to providing you with underwear, ” Emily said. “ I got a candle titled progress. ”
    She held up a white candle with a picture of a gate and clouds on it.
    Ingrid rolled her eyes and added mascara while Emily continued, “ Also, a package of fresh sage from the deli, sandwiches for both of us, double chocolate chip cookies, and a Bible. ”
    Ingrid ’ s eyebrows rose.
    “ I figure we light the candle in the Camaro, burn the sage, and read some passages about the afterlife. ”
    “ Do you know any of those? ”
    “ I saw the pastor from that one church in the grocery story. He up and gave me the Bible for free, marked the passages for me, and invited us to a prayer meeting. I said we ’ d go. ”
    “ Is this prayer meeting in the woods? ”
    “ Nope. ”
    “ Can we have wine? ”
    “ I don ’ t see why not. Don ’ t they like eat crackers and drink wine at those meetings? ”
    “ I ’ m a witch, I don ’ t know. If I can have my own wine, we can go. ” Ingrid stood and said, “ So we ’ re gonna read Bible verses at the ghost and make him go away? ”
    “ Sure, why not? ”
    “ Wasn ’ t your uncle a pagan? Would Bible verses even work on someone who didn ’ t believe in the Bible? ”
    “ Yes. No. But then I ’ d have to ask Aunt Hazel what to do, and she ’ d scold us both. ”
    “ We could call my sister. But my sister is pretty … what ’ s the word? ”
    “ I think you would use bitch-dove. Whereas I would use uptight, know-it-all, Mama ’ s Girl who would remind you that you