Bishop
to ask him to fetch her home.
I told Mary she sounded as if she enjoyed the incident.
“Indeed I did. Himself had to pay for all the damages, including my new car, and it did his reputation no good.” She winked at me. “He hates scandal, let me tell you.”
“I know,” I said, not sure if Mary was hinting or not.
“Oh,” she laughed, “the expression on his face next morning when he brought me coffee! He said, ‘You ought not to drink and
drive,’ and I said, ‘You neither.’ “
Dinner that night was something special. In view of Mary’s story (I learned later that she was also on Valium, prescribed
by her physician for a back problem—the combination was inflammable), Eamonn’s rewarding her with a huge cocktail was surprising.
After his prayers, he came with a glass of hot milk fortified by brandy. To relax him, I ribbed him about Mary’s escapade
at the Guards station.
“Drunk she was, fluthered out of her mind.”
“Drunk as a bishop,” I said, realizing that Eamonn, who could not stand boredom, needed to be entertained.
“I had drunk quite a bit, true, but I wasn’t legless.”
He had been in bed that night. He ate something before he picked her up in case the Guards smelled liquor on his breath.
Propped up on a pillow, with his body swaying and his hands going up-up-up, he said:
“When I reached Castleisland, there was Mary with a bloodied head, stretched out and vomiting all over herself. Joan Browne
and all my dear relatives were there to cheer me on, but really to gloat at my predicament.”
He shook his head and ran nervy hands through his hair before swigging brandied milk to erase the memory.
“Anyway, Eamonn, it was good of you to bail her out.”
“Bail
her
out. I only wanted it kept out of the papers. Had I not been a bishop I would have left her to her fate.”
This worried me. He had an overriding need to safeguard his reputation even in this small matter. What lengths would he go
to if he was really threatened?
That night, I began the lovemaking. But with a difference. To stop him wilting as soon as he was inside me, I smartly rolled
him over on his back.
He looked really scared at this turn of events.
“God Al
mighty!
” he screeched. “Am I a log that you do this to me?”
I kept silent. Talk would help him relax so he could perform better, but I had to fix my mind on the sensuous.
Something in his eyes registered,
What am I doing upside down
? At first, I thought it was because he held that any but the missionary position was a sin. Certainly his dignity was compromised.
A man, above all a bishop, had to be seen to be top dog, especially in bed. But unless he were underneath he would not have
sufficient control to satisfy me.
From his unaccustomed position of inferiority he explained that his major concern was that I might get pregnant, especially
as he was staying in me longer.
Being in the womanly position, he was thinking like a woman. It was almost as if he was asking himself,
What if
I
get pregnant
?
For the first time, he said, “This is a worry, Annie.”
“Not for me.”
“But if you conceive ‘twould ruin your holiday.”
“True,” I said. “But I wouldn’t mind having your child.”
“Not right
now
, when we have only just begun.”
I liked the promise in that remark.
“If you got pregnant, Annie, I’d die. I really don’t want to make you sick and all that.”
With me astride him, I wondered if what he really meant was,
I don’t want to spoil my fun too soon
.
“You’re a strange man,” I said.
He looked up shortsightedly. “In what way?”
“Up to now, you’ve been upset because you couldn’t enter me and now you’re terrified because you can.”
The expression on his face as he pondered this was so funny, I fell right off him and out of bed in convulsions and pulled
the covers on top of me.
Eamonn was left lying naked on his back on a bare bed.
Moments later, two big swimming
to ask him to fetch her home.
I told Mary she sounded as if she enjoyed the incident.
“Indeed I did. Himself had to pay for all the damages, including my new car, and it did his reputation no good.” She winked at me. “He hates scandal, let me tell you.”
“I know,” I said, not sure if Mary was hinting or not.
“Oh,” she laughed, “the expression on his face next morning when he brought me coffee! He said, ‘You ought not to drink and
drive,’ and I said, ‘You neither.’ “
Dinner that night was something special. In view of Mary’s story (I learned later that she was also on Valium, prescribed
by her physician for a back problem—the combination was inflammable), Eamonn’s rewarding her with a huge cocktail was surprising.
After his prayers, he came with a glass of hot milk fortified by brandy. To relax him, I ribbed him about Mary’s escapade
at the Guards station.
“Drunk she was, fluthered out of her mind.”
“Drunk as a bishop,” I said, realizing that Eamonn, who could not stand boredom, needed to be entertained.
“I had drunk quite a bit, true, but I wasn’t legless.”
He had been in bed that night. He ate something before he picked her up in case the Guards smelled liquor on his breath.
Propped up on a pillow, with his body swaying and his hands going up-up-up, he said:
“When I reached Castleisland, there was Mary with a bloodied head, stretched out and vomiting all over herself. Joan Browne
and all my dear relatives were there to cheer me on, but really to gloat at my predicament.”
He shook his head and ran nervy hands through his hair before swigging brandied milk to erase the memory.
“Anyway, Eamonn, it was good of you to bail her out.”
“Bail
her
out. I only wanted it kept out of the papers. Had I not been a bishop I would have left her to her fate.”
This worried me. He had an overriding need to safeguard his reputation even in this small matter. What lengths would he go
to if he was really threatened?
That night, I began the lovemaking. But with a difference. To stop him wilting as soon as he was inside me, I smartly rolled
him over on his back.
He looked really scared at this turn of events.
“God Al
mighty!
” he screeched. “Am I a log that you do this to me?”
I kept silent. Talk would help him relax so he could perform better, but I had to fix my mind on the sensuous.
Something in his eyes registered,
What am I doing upside down
? At first, I thought it was because he held that any but the missionary position was a sin. Certainly his dignity was compromised.
A man, above all a bishop, had to be seen to be top dog, especially in bed. But unless he were underneath he would not have
sufficient control to satisfy me.
From his unaccustomed position of inferiority he explained that his major concern was that I might get pregnant, especially
as he was staying in me longer.
Being in the womanly position, he was thinking like a woman. It was almost as if he was asking himself,
What if
I
get pregnant
?
For the first time, he said, “This is a worry, Annie.”
“Not for me.”
“But if you conceive ‘twould ruin your holiday.”
“True,” I said. “But I wouldn’t mind having your child.”
“Not right
now
, when we have only just begun.”
I liked the promise in that remark.
“If you got pregnant, Annie, I’d die. I really don’t want to make you sick and all that.”
With me astride him, I wondered if what he really meant was,
I don’t want to spoil my fun too soon
.
“You’re a strange man,” I said.
He looked up shortsightedly. “In what way?”
“Up to now, you’ve been upset because you couldn’t enter me and now you’re terrified because you can.”
The expression on his face as he pondered this was so funny, I fell right off him and out of bed in convulsions and pulled
the covers on top of me.
Eamonn was left lying naked on his back on a bare bed.
Moments later, two big swimming
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