Moonlight Murder: An Inept Witches Mystery by Amanda A. Allen, Auburn Seal Page A

asked her a question for all time. ”
    “ So Bible verses then. Kay. ”
    Ingrid lit the candle with her low lying fury and mad skills at fire while Emily held the burning sage inside the car.
    “ Ow, ow, ow, ” she said, dropping the burning herbs onto the seat. Ingrid read, “ For the living know they will die; but the dead do not know anything, nor have they any longer a reward, for their memory is forgotten. ”
    Ingrid looked up at Emily who shrugged.
    “ Somehow, ” Ingrid said, “ I don ’ t think that one is going to help. ”
    “ What? I wasn ’ t listening. ”
    Ingrid flipped to another marked verse and read, “ The dead do not praise the lord, Nor do any who go down into silence. ”
    “ Huh, ” Emily said, looking over Ingrid ’ s shoulder.
    Ingrid tried another, “ For the fate of the sons of men and the fate of beasts is the same. As one dies so dies the other; indeed, they all have the same breath and there is no advantage for man over beast, for all is vanity. All go to the same place. All came from the dust and all return to the dust. ”
    “ Um, ” Emily said. She took the Bible from Ingrid and flipped through.
    Clearing her throat, Emily read, “ For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes. ”
    “ Emily, my best dove, I just felt a ghostly finger playing with my hair. Uncle Jackass, ” Ingrid said, “ I am going to make you regret this to your …”
    “ Well, not your dying day, ” Emily said, “ seeing as how you ’ re dead. But as my uncle, it is nasty to sexually harass my best friend while you are dead. ”
    Ingrid turned and walked away from the Camaro and headed towards Papa Pandolfi ’ s Pastries. It had opened only a few weeks before, and she was willing to become addicted to the big, mustachioed man ’ s rose cream and strawberry croissants.
    “ We might need to call Hazel, ” Ingrid said. “ But not my sister. As you said, she is a bitch-dove. Also we need a new car. Two new cars. We should get something sexy. I want mine to be mustard yellow and I will never drive a Camaro again. Thus I swear and what not. ”
    “ Gabe loves the Camaro. Also, we are not calling Hazel. We are going to solve one damn problem by ourselves. ”
    “ Fine, but the Bible is probably entirely ineffective for a ghost we know is pagan. And also clearly using his afterlife for bad, irritating things for which he will suffer. ”
    “ Eh, ” Emily said taking Ingrid ’ s croissant and having a bite, “ it was worth a shot. If you keep eating like this, you ’ ll be too fat for Gabe to be interested in you when he ’ s done being mad at you. ”
    “ You ’ re a stupid, evil, cow-dove of horror and whoring, you wench of unspeakable things. And such. ”
    “ I ’ m just saying you bought the last croissant and I want that one. You should give it to me. ” Emily looked up as the door the pastry shop opened.
    “ Hazel said I would find you here, ” Saffron said as she came in. “ She said to tell you that Autumn slept with Sheldon. ”
    “ What a hooker she is, ” Emily said.
    “ Says the chick in daisy dukes on a fall day due to afterglow. ”
    “ So, ” Saffron interrupted, “ I didn ’ t need to know that at all. ”
    “ You ’ ll love us someday, ” Emily said. “ We grow on people. ”
    “ Like a fungus or a wart, ” Ingrid explained. “ You ’ ll get used to us because you can ’ t get rid of us and then you ’ ll be ours. ”
    “ Well, all right then. I have to get back to my shop and do things like work. ”
    •••
    Autumn opened the door, saw it was them, and started to close it.
    Emily shoved her foot in the way and said, “ Hazel was the one who told us that you slept with Sheldon. Was that, I wonder, while Ingrid was also dating him? ”
    Autumn ’ s eyes narrowed, but Hazel ’ s name had been the magic word. Autumn wanted to be one of the coven elders. Ingrid had to admit, grudgingly, that she probably had the