puts his arms up like he’s being arrested. Okay. Okay. This means quiet.
When can we start ? I whisper.
First you need to learn a little about woodworking. We have some books—
I already read them! I shout because I forget to whisper.
You did?
Yes. You threw the books in Devon’s room. Remember?
He nods. Okay. You’ll still need to do some hands-on learning. You have to do it and feel it to really Get It.
Oh. Okay. I want to really Get It.
All right but it’s bedtime now and we need a good sleep before working on it. We can start tomorrow.
First thing?
We’ll need to get some supplies first.
Lowe’s?
He nods.
They open at seven a.m. remember? When you and Devon used to work on the chest on weekends you got up early and—
I know.
We need to leave at six forty a.m. to get there in time and get a spot right by the door so we’re first in line okay?
He sighs. Okay.
Do you want me to wake you up?
No. I can get up.
Are you sure?
Don’t I get up on time every morning?
Yes. But what does that have to do with tomorrow morning?
I’ll get up. Don’t worry.
Okay but I’ll wake you up if you’re not up by six a.m. so you have time to shower.
After I go to bed I decide I should take the sheet off the chest to remind Dad we have to work on it but I have to stay up a long long time because Dad sits on the sofa forever just staring at the sheet. When he goes to bed I get up and go to the living room and take the sheet off the chest and I smile at all of its parts because we are finally going to have Closure.
And I hide the sheet inside my purple fleece and stuff it way under my bed where Dad can’t find it in case he changes his mind.
CHAPTER 29
PUTTING OUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER
I SHOW DAD DEVON’S LIST AND he nods. We go to Lowe’s and get a lot of the supplies on the list including quarter-cut oak. We also buy things that aren’t on the list. Like wood filler.
Before we can add anything to the chest Dad first has to put wood filler where the holes are from when he wrenched out the screws and threw the chest on the floor on The Day Our Life Fell Apart. He also has to cut out some sections that he destroyed when he kicked the chest on The Day Our Life Fell Apart. I think about those words and how I haven’t said them lately. I think that maybe now is the day we start to put our life back together.
It takes Dad a long time to fix the parts that he broke. He scrunches up his face and makes noises like it hurts him as much as the chest. He even says, This is rough, and, This is hard.
I know, I say, after he says, This is hard, for the third time. This is what happens when you have a TRM, I tell him. You make a mess. It’s okay. You just have to try harder next time.
I am trying hard, Dad says.
I know. You get a sticker.
Thank you.
Okay. You get another sticker for being polite.
Thanks. His lips press together and it almost looks like a smile. I forgot that Dad used to smile. I wonder if Closure will make him smile.
After a while Dad sits on the sofa and turns on Fox Five News.
You’re not quitting are you? I ask him.
No. I’m just stuck. And I want to watch the news.
I don’t like the news.
I’ll only watch a little.
Is there any other way to get unstuck?
You can go get one of those woodworking books. It has the word Mission in the title. I need to take a look at it.
Okay. I run to Devon’s room. I find the Mission book and start to leave but look back at the room. The sun is shining behind Devon’s blue shade and I go back in to put his shade up so the sun pours in and makes his room warm and bright and I can see dust particles in the beams of light that maybe are part of Devon or maybe not but they make Devon’s room look happy again.
Caitlin! Where’s that book?
Coming! I say. But first I do something important. I leave Devon’s door open.
When I come back in the living room the news lady is talking about the Virginia Dare shooter. He was obviously
When can we start ? I whisper.
First you need to learn a little about woodworking. We have some books—
I already read them! I shout because I forget to whisper.
You did?
Yes. You threw the books in Devon’s room. Remember?
He nods. Okay. You’ll still need to do some hands-on learning. You have to do it and feel it to really Get It.
Oh. Okay. I want to really Get It.
All right but it’s bedtime now and we need a good sleep before working on it. We can start tomorrow.
First thing?
We’ll need to get some supplies first.
Lowe’s?
He nods.
They open at seven a.m. remember? When you and Devon used to work on the chest on weekends you got up early and—
I know.
We need to leave at six forty a.m. to get there in time and get a spot right by the door so we’re first in line okay?
He sighs. Okay.
Do you want me to wake you up?
No. I can get up.
Are you sure?
Don’t I get up on time every morning?
Yes. But what does that have to do with tomorrow morning?
I’ll get up. Don’t worry.
Okay but I’ll wake you up if you’re not up by six a.m. so you have time to shower.
After I go to bed I decide I should take the sheet off the chest to remind Dad we have to work on it but I have to stay up a long long time because Dad sits on the sofa forever just staring at the sheet. When he goes to bed I get up and go to the living room and take the sheet off the chest and I smile at all of its parts because we are finally going to have Closure.
And I hide the sheet inside my purple fleece and stuff it way under my bed where Dad can’t find it in case he changes his mind.
CHAPTER 29
PUTTING OUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER
I SHOW DAD DEVON’S LIST AND he nods. We go to Lowe’s and get a lot of the supplies on the list including quarter-cut oak. We also buy things that aren’t on the list. Like wood filler.
Before we can add anything to the chest Dad first has to put wood filler where the holes are from when he wrenched out the screws and threw the chest on the floor on The Day Our Life Fell Apart. He also has to cut out some sections that he destroyed when he kicked the chest on The Day Our Life Fell Apart. I think about those words and how I haven’t said them lately. I think that maybe now is the day we start to put our life back together.
It takes Dad a long time to fix the parts that he broke. He scrunches up his face and makes noises like it hurts him as much as the chest. He even says, This is rough, and, This is hard.
I know, I say, after he says, This is hard, for the third time. This is what happens when you have a TRM, I tell him. You make a mess. It’s okay. You just have to try harder next time.
I am trying hard, Dad says.
I know. You get a sticker.
Thank you.
Okay. You get another sticker for being polite.
Thanks. His lips press together and it almost looks like a smile. I forgot that Dad used to smile. I wonder if Closure will make him smile.
After a while Dad sits on the sofa and turns on Fox Five News.
You’re not quitting are you? I ask him.
No. I’m just stuck. And I want to watch the news.
I don’t like the news.
I’ll only watch a little.
Is there any other way to get unstuck?
You can go get one of those woodworking books. It has the word Mission in the title. I need to take a look at it.
Okay. I run to Devon’s room. I find the Mission book and start to leave but look back at the room. The sun is shining behind Devon’s blue shade and I go back in to put his shade up so the sun pours in and makes his room warm and bright and I can see dust particles in the beams of light that maybe are part of Devon or maybe not but they make Devon’s room look happy again.
Caitlin! Where’s that book?
Coming! I say. But first I do something important. I leave Devon’s door open.
When I come back in the living room the news lady is talking about the Virginia Dare shooter. He was obviously
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