aren't like that. This guy had been hurt before.
Sure, he had. Who hasn't? We've all been hurt before. This is a prime example of a scenario in need of a manslation. A woman sees male behavior, and since men don't leave many clues, she is left to make up a whole world to explain it. Let's go through some of these explanations. *
Stuff You Really Need to Stop Believing, Like, Instantly
No man has ever, ever stopped going out with a woman as a result of
Feelings that were too strong and frightened him. Think about it. What you're saying is that you are so perfect for him that he couldn't handle it. Such a curse you have there! Gosh, if only you hadn't been so great for him, he might have been able to allow himself to be happy with you.
Come on. What's the simplest solution? That he somehow sensed that you were the perfect woman for him, who touched him in deep, important places that he couldn't handle? Or that he met you; it didn't really happen for him; and he bailed? Don't waste your time thinking about this man. He's not the one.
Fear of getting close to someone that he really likes because he's been hurt before and he senses that this relationship could be so deep that it could really hurt him again. You give us too much credit—we can't think ahead that well.
Stop it. Stop it right now. I just heard your thoughts, ladies. You were saying, “Well, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. I knew this guy one time who…” No. It might happen on doctor shows on TV, but that's because those shows are written specifically for women.
And no, the reason men don't watch doctor shows is not because it makes him have feelings that are too intense and he can't handle them. Just step away from the steaming pile of bullpoop.
Being intimidated by a challenging woman. This one is really ridiculous.
No, no, no, that one happens. I was dating this guy, and always called him on his “crap,” and he dumped me.
Yeah, sounds like you weren't as much a “challenge” as a “jerk.”
Again, no man has ever refused to date a woman because she was perfect for him or just too challenging. If you end up only dating men who are intimidated by how “strong” you are… well, you might want to explore the possibility that it's because you're not very nice.
There really are no exceptions to the three bogus explanations above. The red flag for you is that the explanations are awfully flattering to one side of the breakup. As in, “I am perfect as I am, and if only he could handle how perfect I am, then he would be willing to date me.” Again, you're half-right. You're fine, just as you are. He just didn't want what you have. Your job isn't figuring out how to get him to call. Your job is to go find the guy who wants to call.
Honestly, think of all the times in your life that you have rejected a man. In any of these situations, have you ever been in love with the guy but dumped him because you couldn't handle how much you felt for him? As in, you loved him too much? Or you were perfect together, but somehow you weren't up to the task of loving him because of your last relationship? Ever been intimidated by how challenging a man was?
Come on. Of course you haven't. So don't make your guy have that imaginary thought. It will only drive you nuts.
SHOULD YOU CALL HIM, AND FACE THE UNHOLY
DANGERS OF… UH… WHAT, EXACTLY?
On my website, I get this question all the time. After a great date, she's wondering if she should initiate contact to tell him that she had a great time. She's afraid that she's going to scare him off. There's a lot of misinformation out there about this.
My suggestion? Call him; don't call him; do whatever you want. It can't hurt. Here's why.
If he likes you, he's going to like that you called him. If he doesn't like you, he's not going to like you any less.
I think the confusion on this one has come from a leap in judgment that some women make.
They see it
Sure, he had. Who hasn't? We've all been hurt before. This is a prime example of a scenario in need of a manslation. A woman sees male behavior, and since men don't leave many clues, she is left to make up a whole world to explain it. Let's go through some of these explanations. *
Stuff You Really Need to Stop Believing, Like, Instantly
No man has ever, ever stopped going out with a woman as a result of
Feelings that were too strong and frightened him. Think about it. What you're saying is that you are so perfect for him that he couldn't handle it. Such a curse you have there! Gosh, if only you hadn't been so great for him, he might have been able to allow himself to be happy with you.
Come on. What's the simplest solution? That he somehow sensed that you were the perfect woman for him, who touched him in deep, important places that he couldn't handle? Or that he met you; it didn't really happen for him; and he bailed? Don't waste your time thinking about this man. He's not the one.
Fear of getting close to someone that he really likes because he's been hurt before and he senses that this relationship could be so deep that it could really hurt him again. You give us too much credit—we can't think ahead that well.
Stop it. Stop it right now. I just heard your thoughts, ladies. You were saying, “Well, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. I knew this guy one time who…” No. It might happen on doctor shows on TV, but that's because those shows are written specifically for women.
And no, the reason men don't watch doctor shows is not because it makes him have feelings that are too intense and he can't handle them. Just step away from the steaming pile of bullpoop.
Being intimidated by a challenging woman. This one is really ridiculous.
No, no, no, that one happens. I was dating this guy, and always called him on his “crap,” and he dumped me.
Yeah, sounds like you weren't as much a “challenge” as a “jerk.”
Again, no man has ever refused to date a woman because she was perfect for him or just too challenging. If you end up only dating men who are intimidated by how “strong” you are… well, you might want to explore the possibility that it's because you're not very nice.
There really are no exceptions to the three bogus explanations above. The red flag for you is that the explanations are awfully flattering to one side of the breakup. As in, “I am perfect as I am, and if only he could handle how perfect I am, then he would be willing to date me.” Again, you're half-right. You're fine, just as you are. He just didn't want what you have. Your job isn't figuring out how to get him to call. Your job is to go find the guy who wants to call.
Honestly, think of all the times in your life that you have rejected a man. In any of these situations, have you ever been in love with the guy but dumped him because you couldn't handle how much you felt for him? As in, you loved him too much? Or you were perfect together, but somehow you weren't up to the task of loving him because of your last relationship? Ever been intimidated by how challenging a man was?
Come on. Of course you haven't. So don't make your guy have that imaginary thought. It will only drive you nuts.
SHOULD YOU CALL HIM, AND FACE THE UNHOLY
DANGERS OF… UH… WHAT, EXACTLY?
On my website, I get this question all the time. After a great date, she's wondering if she should initiate contact to tell him that she had a great time. She's afraid that she's going to scare him off. There's a lot of misinformation out there about this.
My suggestion? Call him; don't call him; do whatever you want. It can't hurt. Here's why.
If he likes you, he's going to like that you called him. If he doesn't like you, he's not going to like you any less.
I think the confusion on this one has come from a leap in judgment that some women make.
They see it
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