Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, Patrick Lencioni Page B
Book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, Patrick Lencioni
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shared. Pros and cons of each idea are tossed about the room. Though the notes are being captured on flip-charts, you prefer to take your own so you don’t miss any details. As you finish your last thoughts, suddenly Oscar’s voice shifts abruptly from an even tone to one that’s clearly annoyed. A terse exchange between Oscar and Melinda ensues. You review your notes and can’t find the cause of this shift. What just happened? You missed critical details.
By having your head focused on your tablet and your hand scribbling away, you miss the critical clues that shed some major light on how others are feeling or what they may be thinking. Someone who wants the whole story and complete picture observes others without the distraction of phones, typing, or writing. Instead, he or she simply observes. Remember, the main goal of social awareness is to recognize and understand how others are thinking and feeling. To do this, you need to focus on other people.
By having your head focused on your tablet and your hand scribbling away, you miss the critical clues that shed some major light on how others are feeling or what they may be thinking.
A great place to observe others is at meetings. There’s already a captive audience, and usually there’s minimal distraction with email and phone—but there’s the mighty pen. At your next meeting, don’t take notes. Instead, look at each person’s face and notice his or her expressions. Make eye contact with whoever is speaking. You will feel more engaged and focused on others, and pick up on things that pen and paper surely miss.
Note-taking certainly has its value. But it doesn’t have to be your modus operandi, either. If you need to take notes for practical purposes, temporarily stop at intervals to practice observation.
Plan Ahead for Social Gatherings
Picture yourself leaving a dinner party. You can’t believe you forgot to bring the bread. You spent at least 10 minutes at the party beating yourself up over it, and another 15 taking ribbing from your breadless yet good-natured friends. As you put your keys in the ignition, you suddenly remember that you wanted to get Jack’s business card to call him about a marketing venture, but the “bread incident” got you off track. Then there’s Kate. She seemed down throughout dinner. Why didn’t you ask her about it when you were there?
You planned to attend this dinner, but did you plan for it? Planning ahead for an event can be your saving grace, whether the event’s a dinner party or a meeting for work. If you walk through the door with a plan, you free up your mental energy and brainpower so you can focus on the present moment.
The next time you RSVP for an event, in your next breath remind yourself to plan. On an index card, list who is going to be at the event and list any talking points or to do’s. Don’t be shy—carry the list with you!
Now let’s replay the former party scenario, but this time with your plan on paper and in tow. After you arrive, you give the host that promised loaf of bread. Check. You spot Jack in the kitchen, and move toward him to fit in a quick chat and request that business card. Check. With that done, you notice that Kate is off—she looks somber. You notice right away, not as an afterthought while you drive home. You immediately address the alarm in your brain and pull Kate aside to see if she needs to talk. She appreciates your concern, smiles, and shares her story. With that, you both return to the group and enjoy the meal in front of you.
A bit of planning will not just prepare you for the event; planning will also help you enjoy the event more because you’ll be less stressed and more present while you’re there.
Clear Away the Clutter
To be socially aware, you must be socially present and remove distractions—especially the ones inside your head. These internal distractions are much like clutter in your garage or
By having your head focused on your tablet and your hand scribbling away, you miss the critical clues that shed some major light on how others are feeling or what they may be thinking. Someone who wants the whole story and complete picture observes others without the distraction of phones, typing, or writing. Instead, he or she simply observes. Remember, the main goal of social awareness is to recognize and understand how others are thinking and feeling. To do this, you need to focus on other people.
By having your head focused on your tablet and your hand scribbling away, you miss the critical clues that shed some major light on how others are feeling or what they may be thinking.
A great place to observe others is at meetings. There’s already a captive audience, and usually there’s minimal distraction with email and phone—but there’s the mighty pen. At your next meeting, don’t take notes. Instead, look at each person’s face and notice his or her expressions. Make eye contact with whoever is speaking. You will feel more engaged and focused on others, and pick up on things that pen and paper surely miss.
Note-taking certainly has its value. But it doesn’t have to be your modus operandi, either. If you need to take notes for practical purposes, temporarily stop at intervals to practice observation.
Plan Ahead for Social Gatherings
Picture yourself leaving a dinner party. You can’t believe you forgot to bring the bread. You spent at least 10 minutes at the party beating yourself up over it, and another 15 taking ribbing from your breadless yet good-natured friends. As you put your keys in the ignition, you suddenly remember that you wanted to get Jack’s business card to call him about a marketing venture, but the “bread incident” got you off track. Then there’s Kate. She seemed down throughout dinner. Why didn’t you ask her about it when you were there?
You planned to attend this dinner, but did you plan for it? Planning ahead for an event can be your saving grace, whether the event’s a dinner party or a meeting for work. If you walk through the door with a plan, you free up your mental energy and brainpower so you can focus on the present moment.
The next time you RSVP for an event, in your next breath remind yourself to plan. On an index card, list who is going to be at the event and list any talking points or to do’s. Don’t be shy—carry the list with you!
Now let’s replay the former party scenario, but this time with your plan on paper and in tow. After you arrive, you give the host that promised loaf of bread. Check. You spot Jack in the kitchen, and move toward him to fit in a quick chat and request that business card. Check. With that done, you notice that Kate is off—she looks somber. You notice right away, not as an afterthought while you drive home. You immediately address the alarm in your brain and pull Kate aside to see if she needs to talk. She appreciates your concern, smiles, and shares her story. With that, you both return to the group and enjoy the meal in front of you.
A bit of planning will not just prepare you for the event; planning will also help you enjoy the event more because you’ll be less stressed and more present while you’re there.
Clear Away the Clutter
To be socially aware, you must be socially present and remove distractions—especially the ones inside your head. These internal distractions are much like clutter in your garage or
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