Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, Patrick Lencioni
Book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, Patrick Lencioni
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help you tackle the obstacles that get in your way and provide you with a helping hand when the going gets tough. You can only attend to so much, so it’s critical to pick up on the right signals. These proven social awareness strategies will help you do just that.
Greet People by Name
Maybe you’ve been named after a special relative or family friend, or maybe you have a nickname that abbreviates your long last name. Whatever the story is behind your name, it’s an essential part of your identity. It feels so good when people use your name and remember it.
Greeting someone by name is one of the most basic and influential social awareness strategies you can adopt. It’s a personal and meaningful way to engage someone. If you have a tendency to withdraw in social situations, greeting someone by name is a simple way to stick your neck out; using someone’s name breaks down barriers and comes across as warm and inviting. Even if you are a social butterfly, greeting people by name is a strategy to live by.
Whatever the story is behind your name, it’s an essential part of your identity. It feels so good when people use your name and remember it.
Enough said about the value of greeting by name. Now let’s talk about following through. If names are usually on the tip of your tongue, you claim to be “great with faces, but not names,” or you can’t seem to remember anyone’s name 30 seconds after you hear it—make this the month to practice saying, “Hello, [name],” to someone each time you enter a room and to those you’re introduced to. Remembering a person’s name is a brain exercise—practice may be required. If a name sounds unusual to you, ask the person to spell it for you so you can picture the name written. This will help you remember it later. Be sure to use the person’s name at least twice during the conversation.
Greeting people by their names not only acknowledges them as the essence of who they are, but also allows you to remain connected to them in more than just a superficial way. By making it a goal to remember someone’s name when you meet or greet him or her, you are focusing your mind, which will only increase your awareness in social situations.
Watch Body Language
Ask professional poker players what they study most carefully about their opponents, and they will tell you they look for small changes in behavior that indicate a player’s confidence in his hand.
They check posture, eye movement, hand gestures, and facial expressions. The confident player with bravado is often the bluff, while the quiet hand is the royal flush waiting to sneak up from behind. For professional poker players, reading body language is a matter of winning or going home empty-handed. Acute social awareness skills literally make or break them.
It’s just as important for us to become expert readers of body language; we’ll know how people are really feeling and can plan an appropriate response. To get a complete read from a person, do a head-to-toe body language assessment. Start with the head and face. The eyes communicate more than any other part of the human anatomy. You can get a lot of information from them, but be careful not to stare. Maintained eye contact can show if a person is trustworthy, sincere, or caring. Shifty eyes or too much blinking can suggest deception. People whose eye movements are relaxed yet attentive to the person they are conversing with are more sincere and honest.
Next, look at the person’s smile. Is it authentic or forced? Researchers can tell the difference. They look for a crinkle of skin in the corner of the eyes, and if it is not there, the smile is probably fake. Authentic smiles change rapidly from a small facial movement to a broad open expression.
Once you’ve finished with the face, move to the shoulders, torso, and limbs. Are the shoulders slouched or held naturally upright? Are the arms, hands, legs, and
Greet People by Name
Maybe you’ve been named after a special relative or family friend, or maybe you have a nickname that abbreviates your long last name. Whatever the story is behind your name, it’s an essential part of your identity. It feels so good when people use your name and remember it.
Greeting someone by name is one of the most basic and influential social awareness strategies you can adopt. It’s a personal and meaningful way to engage someone. If you have a tendency to withdraw in social situations, greeting someone by name is a simple way to stick your neck out; using someone’s name breaks down barriers and comes across as warm and inviting. Even if you are a social butterfly, greeting people by name is a strategy to live by.
Whatever the story is behind your name, it’s an essential part of your identity. It feels so good when people use your name and remember it.
Enough said about the value of greeting by name. Now let’s talk about following through. If names are usually on the tip of your tongue, you claim to be “great with faces, but not names,” or you can’t seem to remember anyone’s name 30 seconds after you hear it—make this the month to practice saying, “Hello, [name],” to someone each time you enter a room and to those you’re introduced to. Remembering a person’s name is a brain exercise—practice may be required. If a name sounds unusual to you, ask the person to spell it for you so you can picture the name written. This will help you remember it later. Be sure to use the person’s name at least twice during the conversation.
Greeting people by their names not only acknowledges them as the essence of who they are, but also allows you to remain connected to them in more than just a superficial way. By making it a goal to remember someone’s name when you meet or greet him or her, you are focusing your mind, which will only increase your awareness in social situations.
Watch Body Language
Ask professional poker players what they study most carefully about their opponents, and they will tell you they look for small changes in behavior that indicate a player’s confidence in his hand.
They check posture, eye movement, hand gestures, and facial expressions. The confident player with bravado is often the bluff, while the quiet hand is the royal flush waiting to sneak up from behind. For professional poker players, reading body language is a matter of winning or going home empty-handed. Acute social awareness skills literally make or break them.
It’s just as important for us to become expert readers of body language; we’ll know how people are really feeling and can plan an appropriate response. To get a complete read from a person, do a head-to-toe body language assessment. Start with the head and face. The eyes communicate more than any other part of the human anatomy. You can get a lot of information from them, but be careful not to stare. Maintained eye contact can show if a person is trustworthy, sincere, or caring. Shifty eyes or too much blinking can suggest deception. People whose eye movements are relaxed yet attentive to the person they are conversing with are more sincere and honest.
Next, look at the person’s smile. Is it authentic or forced? Researchers can tell the difference. They look for a crinkle of skin in the corner of the eyes, and if it is not there, the smile is probably fake. Authentic smiles change rapidly from a small facial movement to a broad open expression.
Once you’ve finished with the face, move to the shoulders, torso, and limbs. Are the shoulders slouched or held naturally upright? Are the arms, hands, legs, and
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