the deck, she rested her hands on the railing and stared
out into the night. She was too close to him. Why was it when she got that
close to him she felt a change? Something in her responded to him on a level
she couldn’t comprehend. "I don’t understand what’s
going on. All this between us—I— don’t get it."
"I think you do."
She strained to find her voice. "No, I don’t."
"Ask me, Amber."
She turned but didn’t look at him. "I don’t know what to
ask."
"Yes, you do," he murmured.
"Why do you say that?"
"It’s the truth. You know it is."
"Things have happened so fast I’m not sure what’s real and
what’s not."
"Look at me." When she looked at him, he said, "Talk to me
about it."
"It’s not that easy," she said with irritation.
"I’m not even sure where to begin."
"Just start talking," he offered gently.
She ran her hands over her face, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I
want to leave," she said without moving an inch.
"And?"
"And when I picture myself walking out the door I can’t breathe.
The thought of being away from you causes me to panic."
"I need you by me, too."
She shook her head as she struggled for the words. "Not like this. I
feel like I can’t be away from you, but when I’m near
you…I…I…"
"Slow down and just tell me," Logan said calmly.
"One minute I feel like I’ve known you my entire life and the
next you’re a stranger that I’m trying to figure out." She
felt tears form in the corner of her eyes and she wasn’t sure why they
were there. "See it doesn’t even make sense."
"It makes sense to me," he said. "Please continue."
"And then there are times you look at me like you know me. Like you
know what I’m thinking—what I’m feeling and it takes my
breath away."
"What’s wrong with knowing you?" He got up and moved
toward her. "Why can’t I take your breath away? Why can’t I
know what you’re feeling?"
"Because you don’t know me," she said seriously.
"But I do."
"How," she shouted as frustration consumed her. "Explain
it to me. How do you know me? " She took a step back from him, bumping
into a planter as she did. "Don’t get so close." Awkwardly,
she stepped over the potted plant. "I feel like I can’t
breathe."
He watched her clumsily move away from him. "Are you afraid of
me?"
Amber was relieved when he gave her the distance she was desperate for.
"No, and that’s what scares me," she said whispering the
words to herself.
"Don’t be afraid." He was speaking softly to her,
reasoning with her. "Just because you don’t understand something
doesn’t mean you have to fear it." He watched the tears fall down
her cheeks. "Let me come to you. Let me touch you."
She shook her head and looked at him in confusion. "You don’t
understand what I’m feeling right now."
"Explain it to me." He’d felt her, his entire life. There
was never a moment he couldn’t recall that she wasn’t inside of
him. The overwhelming emotions he was experiencing he accepted with enthusiasm
that only time could create. She had been a part of him for as long as he could
remember. It was only her physical form that was new to him. However, for her,
all of this was new and unfamiliar.
"I can’t."
"Try," he said in quiet desperation.
She looked at the ground for several seconds and then looked up at him.
"I know you said we weren’t crazy, but I feel crazy. I don’t
just hear you with my ears and see you with my eyes, I feel you with my body. I
know you, deep in here—" she held her hands to her chest, over her
heart. "I know you. But for some reason I can’t place you."
To Logan, it looked like she was fighting a war from within. She was struggling
with all that was happening inside her as she tried to make heads or tails of
it. Her internal battle caused his stomach to knot with a mixture of sympathy
and understanding.
"You create emotions in me that I’ve never felt in my life. In
fact there’s so much of it I feel like it’s out of control and
I’m
out into the night. She was too close to him. Why was it when she got that
close to him she felt a change? Something in her responded to him on a level
she couldn’t comprehend. "I don’t understand what’s
going on. All this between us—I— don’t get it."
"I think you do."
She strained to find her voice. "No, I don’t."
"Ask me, Amber."
She turned but didn’t look at him. "I don’t know what to
ask."
"Yes, you do," he murmured.
"Why do you say that?"
"It’s the truth. You know it is."
"Things have happened so fast I’m not sure what’s real and
what’s not."
"Look at me." When she looked at him, he said, "Talk to me
about it."
"It’s not that easy," she said with irritation.
"I’m not even sure where to begin."
"Just start talking," he offered gently.
She ran her hands over her face, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I
want to leave," she said without moving an inch.
"And?"
"And when I picture myself walking out the door I can’t breathe.
The thought of being away from you causes me to panic."
"I need you by me, too."
She shook her head as she struggled for the words. "Not like this. I
feel like I can’t be away from you, but when I’m near
you…I…I…"
"Slow down and just tell me," Logan said calmly.
"One minute I feel like I’ve known you my entire life and the
next you’re a stranger that I’m trying to figure out." She
felt tears form in the corner of her eyes and she wasn’t sure why they
were there. "See it doesn’t even make sense."
"It makes sense to me," he said. "Please continue."
"And then there are times you look at me like you know me. Like you
know what I’m thinking—what I’m feeling and it takes my
breath away."
"What’s wrong with knowing you?" He got up and moved
toward her. "Why can’t I take your breath away? Why can’t I
know what you’re feeling?"
"Because you don’t know me," she said seriously.
"But I do."
"How," she shouted as frustration consumed her. "Explain
it to me. How do you know me? " She took a step back from him, bumping
into a planter as she did. "Don’t get so close." Awkwardly,
she stepped over the potted plant. "I feel like I can’t
breathe."
He watched her clumsily move away from him. "Are you afraid of
me?"
Amber was relieved when he gave her the distance she was desperate for.
"No, and that’s what scares me," she said whispering the
words to herself.
"Don’t be afraid." He was speaking softly to her,
reasoning with her. "Just because you don’t understand something
doesn’t mean you have to fear it." He watched the tears fall down
her cheeks. "Let me come to you. Let me touch you."
She shook her head and looked at him in confusion. "You don’t
understand what I’m feeling right now."
"Explain it to me." He’d felt her, his entire life. There
was never a moment he couldn’t recall that she wasn’t inside of
him. The overwhelming emotions he was experiencing he accepted with enthusiasm
that only time could create. She had been a part of him for as long as he could
remember. It was only her physical form that was new to him. However, for her,
all of this was new and unfamiliar.
"I can’t."
"Try," he said in quiet desperation.
She looked at the ground for several seconds and then looked up at him.
"I know you said we weren’t crazy, but I feel crazy. I don’t
just hear you with my ears and see you with my eyes, I feel you with my body. I
know you, deep in here—" she held her hands to her chest, over her
heart. "I know you. But for some reason I can’t place you."
To Logan, it looked like she was fighting a war from within. She was struggling
with all that was happening inside her as she tried to make heads or tails of
it. Her internal battle caused his stomach to knot with a mixture of sympathy
and understanding.
"You create emotions in me that I’ve never felt in my life. In
fact there’s so much of it I feel like it’s out of control and
I’m
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