Zoolarious Animal Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott

Fun Jokes!

    Q: Where do ants like to eat?
    A: At a restaur-ant.
    Q: What do alligators drink after they work out?
    A: Gator-ade.
    Q: What do a mouse and a wheel have in common?
    A: They both squeak.
    Q: What do frogs use so they can see better?
    A: Frog-lights.
    Q: Why can’t you trust a pig?
    A: It will always squeal on you.
    Q: What kind of dog cries the most?
    A: A Chi-wah-wah (Chihuahua).
    Q: Where do birds invest their money?
    A: In the stork market (stock market).
    Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a canary?
    A: Because they’re so cheep (cheap).
    Q: What happened to the bee after he had four cups of coffee?
    A: He got a buzz.
    Q: Why was the bird nervous after lunch?
    A: He had butterflies in his stomach.
    Q: What did the father buffalo say to his son as he left for school?
    A: “Bison (Bye, Son).”
    Q: Where did the bat go to get some money?
    A: The blood bank.
    Q: What kind of bear doesn’t have any teeth?
    A: A gummy bear.
    Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
    A: Spoiled milk.
    Q: A cowboy arrives at the ranch on a Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is that possible?
    A: His horse’s name is Friday.
    Q: How did the cow make some extra money?
    A: By mooooo-nlighting at another farm.
    Q: Why did the cow become an astronaut?
    A: So it could walk on the moooo-n.

    Q: What do cows like to eat?
    A: Smoooothies.
    Q: Why were the chickens so tired?
    A: They were working around the cluck.
    Q: What animals do you find in a monastery?
    A: Chip-monks!
    A duck walks into a store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager says no, so the duck leaves. The next day the duck goes back to the store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager says, “NO, we don’t sell grapes,” so the duck leaves the store. The next day the duck goes back to the same store and asks the manager if he sells grapes. The manager is furious now and says, “NO, WE DO NOT SELL GRAPES! IF YOU COME BACK AND ASK IF WE SELL GRAPES AGAIN, I’LL GLUE YOUR BEAK TO THE FLOOR!” The next day the duck goes back to the same store and says to the manager, “Excuse me, do you sell glue at this store?” The manager says, “No, we don’t sell glue.” The duck replies, “That’s good. Do you sell grapes?”
    Joe: Did that dolphin splash you by accident?
    Bill: No, it was on porpoise!
    Q: Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
    A: If they lifted the other leg, they’d fall over.
    Q: Where did the toy giraffe go when it was broken?
    A: To get plastic surgery.
    Q: What do you give a pig that has a cold?
    A: Trough syrup!
    Q: Why did the porcupine get sent home from the party?
    A: He was popping all the balloons!
    Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a Christmas tree?
    A: A pork-u-pine.
    Q: What is a reptile’s favorite movie?
    A: The Lizard of Oz.
    Q: What did the spider do with its new car?
    A: It took it for a spin.
    Q: Where do shrimp go if they need money?
    A: The prawn shop.

    Q: Why did the snake lose his case in court?
    A: He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
    Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and a kitten?
    A: A purr-anha.
    Q: What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
    A: A bullfrog.
    Q: How are fish and music the same?
    A: They both have scales.
    Q: Why did the skunk have to stay in bed and take its medicine?
    A: It was the doctor’s odors.
    Q: What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner?
    A: “Shall we prey?”
    Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
    A: Hailing taxi cabs.
    Q: Why are pigs so bad at football?
    A: They’re always hogging the ball.
    Q: What is a whale’s favorite game?
    A: Swallow the leader.
    Q: Why are fish so bad at basketball?
    A: They don’t like getting close to the net.

    Q: Where do dogs go if they lose their tails?
    A: The re-tail store.
    Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?
    A: B.
    Q: Why can’t you trust what a baby chick says?
    A: Talk is