Zoolarious Animal Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott Page A

cheep.
    Q: What are the funniest fish at the aquarium?
    A: The clown fish.
    Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs zero pounds?
    A: An elephant’s shadow.
    Q: Why are horses always so negative?
    A: They say “neigh” (nay) to everything.
    Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, splash?
    A: A penguin rolling down an iceberg into the water.

    Q: What is the smartest animal?
    A: A snake, because no one can pull its leg.
    Two men went deer hunting. One man asked the other, “Did you ever hunt bear?” The other hunter said, “No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts.”
    Q: What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
    A: Drop it a line!
    Q: Why couldn’t the elephants go swimming at the pool?
    A: They were always losing their trunks.
    Q: Why did the robin go to the library?
    A: It was looking for bookworms.
    Q: What did the dog say when he rubbed sandpaper on his tail?
    A: “Ruff, ruff!”
    Q: What is black and white and red all over?
    A: A penguin that’s embarrassed.
    Q: What do you call a pig that is no fun to be around?
    A: A boar.
    Q: What kind of fish can perform surgery?
    A: Sturgeons.
    Q: What kind of sea creature hates all the others?
    A: A hermit crab.
    Q: Where can you go to see mummies of cows?
    A: The moo-seum of history.
    Q: What kind of seafood tastes great with peanut butter?
    A: Jellyfish.
    Q: What do cats like to put in their milk?
    A: Mice cubes.
    Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
    A: Swimming trunks.

    Q: What do you do if your dog steals your spelling homework?
    A: Take the words right out of his mouth.
    Q: Why did the cat get detention at school?
    A: Because he was a cheetah (cheater).
    Q: Where do bees come from?
    A: Sting-apore and Bee-livia.
    Q: Why couldn’t the polar bear get along with the penguin?
    A: They were polar opposites.
    Q: What did the rooster say to the hen?
    A: “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
    Q: What did the whale say to the dolphin?
    A: “Long time no sea (see).”
    Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
    A: Ouch!
    Q: What happened when the frog’s car broke down?
    A: It had to be toad away (towed).
    Q: What happens when a cat eats a lemon?
    A: You get a sour-puss.
    Q: How do you communicate with a pig?
    A: Use swine language (sign).
    Q: What do cars and elephants have in common?
    A: They both have trunks.
    Q: What is a whale’s favorite candy?
    A: Blubber gum.
    Q: What is a bat’s motto?
    A: Hang in there!
    Q: What do you get when you cross a rabbit and frog?
    A: A bunny ribbit.
    Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a daisy?
    A: A collie-flower.
    Q: What does a cat say when it’s surprised?
    A: “Me-WOW.”
    Q: Why did the parakeet go to the candy store?
    A: To get a tweet.
    Q: What do you have if your dog can’t bark?
    A: A hush puppy.
    Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
    A: If they flew over the bay they’d be bagels!
    Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a rabbit?
    A: You get hare in your milk.
    Q: Why did the horse keep falling over?
    A: It just wasn’t stable.
    Q: How do fish pay their bills?
    A: With sand dollars.
    Q: Which creatures on Noah’s ark didn’t come in pairs?
    A: The worms—they came in apples.
    Q: How do you shoot a bumblebee?
    A: With a bee-bee gun.

    Q: Why did Fido beat up Rover?
    A: Because Rover was a boxer.
    Q: What do you get when an elephant sneezes?
    A: You get out of the way!
    Q: What kind of animal do you take into battle?
    A: An army-dillo.
    Q: What kind of bird likes to make bread?
    A: The dodo bird (dough-dough).
    Q: What do you get when your dog makes your breakfast?
    A: You get pooched eggs.
    Q: Why did the horse wake up with a headache?
    A: Because at bedtime he hit the hay.
    Q: What do trees and dogs have in common?
    A: They both have bark.
    Q: Why do bumblebees smell so good?
    A: They always wear bee-odorant.
    Q: What do