my pallet. Brown arms wrapped around me. Eula hummed as she pushed the rocker slowly back and forth. My bare toes tapped the floor each time she rocked forward.
Eula smiled.“There now. You awake.”She said it soft and sweet, and the sound of it made me want to cry.
I pressed myself back against her bony shoulder and stuck my nose down into the quilt. My eyeballs felt like they was likely to explode from the tears built up inside. But inside was where they had to stay. Blubberin’ wasn’t gonna help anything. My cheeks burned with shame, thinking on how I’d cried and begged out there on the road. I’d showed I was nothing but a scared little girl.
And now Wallace knew.
“It’s all right,” Eula cooed just like she did to baby James. “It be all right now.”
A tornado sprung up in my chest, a wild swirl of black fear, red anger, and hot frustration. Those feelings spun so tight I couldn’t tell one from the other. They sucked the air from my aching lungs and sent bitter shivers through me. Eula had known she’d stole that white baby. She’d known Wallace was crazy. He’d tried to kill me and here she was acting all sweet, like it was a regular day.
I threw myself from her lap. The water in my ears crackled and fluttered. Tripping over the quilt, I stumbled to the floor. As I rolled over, I caught sight of her face and a tiny bit of my anger went away.
Blood had dried on her cheek over a deep red-purple bruise beneath her brown skin. Her black hair stood in pointy tufts like a crazy clown hat. Her lip was split and swollen.
She had tried to save me.
No! I pushed the thought away. She was wrong! She could have driven right on by, kept baby James, and I could have been safe with Momma right now.
Baby James!
I looked around the room. The bulrush basket was in the corner, dirty and broken. No baby inside. “Oh no!”
“He all right. He sleepin’.” Eula nodded toward the cradle.
All my muscles let go at once. “He’s okay?”
She nodded. “And you, too.”
“I am not okay,” I said, mustering up just as much hatefulness as I could. “I’m not.” I sounded more pitiful than hateful. “You never shoulda picked me up. You kidnapped me just like you did James!”
Her brow wrinkled and her eyes filled with surprise and hurt. She looked away. “No. No, it wasn’t like that. Nobody want James. And you . . . I was worried you come to no good out there all alone after dark.”
“Wallace tried to kill me! How much more ‘no good’ can it get?”
She began to shake her head, burying her fingers in her hair. “It wasn’t supposed to—” She rocked a little. “You was supposed to go on to Nashville. Baby James supposed to stay with me. But Wallace, he so scared . . .”
“He’s scared! I was the one who almost got drowned.”
She sent a quick look toward the glassless window. “Shhh. Shhh, now. No need to be afraid of Wallace.”
Just then the bear’s hateful face peered in through the window, and the urge to throw up grabbed me so fast all I could do was lean over and heave onto the floor. My stomach squeezed and squeezed until my eyes felt like they was gonna pop. Nothing but a thin string came up. Then I got a coughing fit, which caused more heaving.
I realized Eula had come onto the floor with me. She rubbed my back, talking quiet the whole time. I shook her hand off. She didn’t put it back.
When I could finally breathe again, I peeked out from under my eyebrows to see Wallace still staring at me. I couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking, but he looked . . . sad. Guess he was since he didn’t get me all the way killed.
Eula whispered in my ear, “He only tryin’ to keep me safe. He don’t mean it.”
Well, the look in his eyes when he’d pushed me under told me he did mean it. But I was too scared of starting trouble again to say that out loud with Wallace so close.
He put a wide board across the window and started nailing it in place. Every hammer blow was a fresh stab of
Eula smiled.“There now. You awake.”She said it soft and sweet, and the sound of it made me want to cry.
I pressed myself back against her bony shoulder and stuck my nose down into the quilt. My eyeballs felt like they was likely to explode from the tears built up inside. But inside was where they had to stay. Blubberin’ wasn’t gonna help anything. My cheeks burned with shame, thinking on how I’d cried and begged out there on the road. I’d showed I was nothing but a scared little girl.
And now Wallace knew.
“It’s all right,” Eula cooed just like she did to baby James. “It be all right now.”
A tornado sprung up in my chest, a wild swirl of black fear, red anger, and hot frustration. Those feelings spun so tight I couldn’t tell one from the other. They sucked the air from my aching lungs and sent bitter shivers through me. Eula had known she’d stole that white baby. She’d known Wallace was crazy. He’d tried to kill me and here she was acting all sweet, like it was a regular day.
I threw myself from her lap. The water in my ears crackled and fluttered. Tripping over the quilt, I stumbled to the floor. As I rolled over, I caught sight of her face and a tiny bit of my anger went away.
Blood had dried on her cheek over a deep red-purple bruise beneath her brown skin. Her black hair stood in pointy tufts like a crazy clown hat. Her lip was split and swollen.
She had tried to save me.
No! I pushed the thought away. She was wrong! She could have driven right on by, kept baby James, and I could have been safe with Momma right now.
Baby James!
I looked around the room. The bulrush basket was in the corner, dirty and broken. No baby inside. “Oh no!”
“He all right. He sleepin’.” Eula nodded toward the cradle.
All my muscles let go at once. “He’s okay?”
She nodded. “And you, too.”
“I am not okay,” I said, mustering up just as much hatefulness as I could. “I’m not.” I sounded more pitiful than hateful. “You never shoulda picked me up. You kidnapped me just like you did James!”
Her brow wrinkled and her eyes filled with surprise and hurt. She looked away. “No. No, it wasn’t like that. Nobody want James. And you . . . I was worried you come to no good out there all alone after dark.”
“Wallace tried to kill me! How much more ‘no good’ can it get?”
She began to shake her head, burying her fingers in her hair. “It wasn’t supposed to—” She rocked a little. “You was supposed to go on to Nashville. Baby James supposed to stay with me. But Wallace, he so scared . . .”
“He’s scared! I was the one who almost got drowned.”
She sent a quick look toward the glassless window. “Shhh. Shhh, now. No need to be afraid of Wallace.”
Just then the bear’s hateful face peered in through the window, and the urge to throw up grabbed me so fast all I could do was lean over and heave onto the floor. My stomach squeezed and squeezed until my eyes felt like they was gonna pop. Nothing but a thin string came up. Then I got a coughing fit, which caused more heaving.
I realized Eula had come onto the floor with me. She rubbed my back, talking quiet the whole time. I shook her hand off. She didn’t put it back.
When I could finally breathe again, I peeked out from under my eyebrows to see Wallace still staring at me. I couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking, but he looked . . . sad. Guess he was since he didn’t get me all the way killed.
Eula whispered in my ear, “He only tryin’ to keep me safe. He don’t mean it.”
Well, the look in his eyes when he’d pushed me under told me he did mean it. But I was too scared of starting trouble again to say that out loud with Wallace so close.
He put a wide board across the window and started nailing it in place. Every hammer blow was a fresh stab of
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