Z-Burbia 4: Cannibal Road by Jake Bible

“These folk ain’t just crazy, they’re careful.”
    We just stared at her, which it being Elsbeth, made her uncomfortable then mad.
    “What?” she snapped. “I used to scrapbook when I was a girl.” She furrowed her brow and shook her head. “Or I think I did. Can’t remember that far back. Doesn’t matter anyway. It took them a lot of hard work to get that message right.”
    “So A for effort as well as originality,” I said. “Good for them, but what are we going to do?”
    Stuart, John, and Reaper, having gotten over Elsbeth’s always confusing behavior, walked cautiously up to the billboards. They studied the road for tripwires, and then when they got to the billboards themselves, they studied the edges of the large wood and metal frames for booby traps and explosives.
    “I’m not seeing anything,” John said. “We could probably drive right over these and not have to worry about damage to the haul truck at all.”
    “We haven’t checked the bodies though,” Reaper sighed. “So we don’t know for sure it’s safe.”
    We all stood there and looked up at the rotted corpses above us.
    “Red!” Critter yelled back at the haul truck. “Move it in closer, will ya? Gotta get a better look at these cockless gentlemen!”
    “No way, Critter,” Red said. “Too many bodies. I can drive through them, but getting up close is not in the cards.”
    Critter sighed and rubbed his face. “Don’t know why I put up with that nutjob.”
    “Because he’s smart and he’s loyal and he has a lot of good ideas that help us when we need him,” I said. “Same reasons you keep me around.”
    “They keep you around because I’d kill them if they didn’t,” Elsbeth grinned. “Everyone knows that, stupid.”
    “Thanks, El,” I smiled. “You know exactly what to say to make me feel like a winner.”
    “Chicken dinner,” she replied.
    There was a lot of looking down at feet and up at the buildings around us, pretty much everywhere but at Elsbeth.
    Critter was cursing a blue streak as he climbed up into the haul truck. He proceeded to rip Red a new one as he shoved the one-eyed driver out of the way. I felt sorry for the guy (Red, not Critter) since he had severe agoraphobia and it wasn’t his fault for freaking out now and again. On the other hand, you have to pull your own weight in the zombie apocalypse.
    Says the guy with one arm…
    Critter got the haul truck up close to the billboards so Stuart, John and Reaper could climb up and get a better look at the bodies. They clung to the grill and the railing around the platform that was just to the side of the truck’s cab. Those of us not looking for booby traps stayed below and watched the surroundings, always ready for the next attack.
    I say “next” because, let’s face it, life is just one attack after the other. Even pre-Z it was all about going from crisis to crisis, fire to fire. Or it was for us.
    Maybe there is peace and quiet in other parts of the world. Maybe life just kept going with the undead rising being nothing but a hiccup in the day to day routine. Think about it, there were Third World countries that didn’t have running water, electricity, sewers, hospitals, or any modern conveniences. I’ll bet Z-Day was a trip, but nothing they couldn’t handle. Kill Uncle Sansu as he tried to eat Aunt Bolina then send the kids out to catch a chicken for dinner. Same old, same old.
    “Long Pork,” Elsbeth hissed. “You out of your head enough to see what I see?”
    I had to puzzle at that, since the term “out of your head enough” was more than just a little confusing. Did she mean was I out of my head crazy? Or out of my head, as in I was paying attention to the world around me instead of lost in my thoughts?
    I said, “Yeah, what’s up?” Just seemed easier.
    “We have watchers,” Elsbeth said. “Up in the windows. They been eyeing us since we got here. Haven’t stopped to take a break once.”
    “How many?” I