Whirl by Jessie M

the mood for much, in her monthly misery.
    “ Let’s all go to the zoo.”
    “ D’you really fancy that? ‘Cos I’m not sure I do.”
    “ Yeah. San Diego Zoo is great. You’ll love it.”
    “ You know I don’t like to see animals caged up.”
    “ It’s all done very carefully and thoughtfully. Come on.”
    “ All right then. But I want to chat to Kelly for five minutes first.”
    I go upstairs and call her.
    “How’s Picasso of Hempstead doing?”
    “ Good... What about you? Getting lots of sun, fun and hot pilot flings?”
    “ I am. Especially the latter.”
    “ I’m all ears. Tell me.”
    “ I don’t know where to start.”
    “ You must have had a lot of action then?”
    “ It’s been like nothing on this earth. It’s a holiday fling to remember forever Kel.”
    “ It sounds real steamy.”
    “ Hotter than that.”
    “ The mind boggles! How can it get hotter than steamy?”
    “ He has a way of doing things. I can’t describe it. Let’s just say we’ve gelled very well in between the sheets.”
    “ Well enjoy it while it lasts, you deserve some fun. I’ve been having a lot of excitement in my love life as well.”
    “ Really?”
    “ Someone I bumped into in the art store a couple of weeks ago, James. He’s another artist from my Uni days. We never got together because he was seeing someone then. Anyway, he stayed overnight a couple of times this week. We’ve been painting together.”
    “ Kel! I don’t believe it. You never see the same guy twice.”
    “ I know. But he’s got right under my skin somehow. He could move in tomorrow, I feel that into him. I might even suggest it if things go well.”
    “ Awww. I’m all overcome with happiness for you.”
    “ I’m not counting my chickens just yet... Time will tell. Oh, your painting’s done, by the way. I need to retouch it a little, but basically it’s finished.”
    “ Thanks so much. Really. It means a lot.”
    “ It was a pleasure to do it. James loves it. He thinks it’s symbolic of a simultaneous orgasm. An erotic shared experience.”
    “ My God... I can’t wait to see it, really! Look, I’m going to have to go now, I’m off to the zoo.”
    “ Ugghh... Horrid smelly cruel places.”
    “ I know, but Toni insists I’ll like it. I’ll call you next week. Okay?”
    “ Yeah, bye then Alex.”
    We finally set off for the zoo a few minutes later. I’m almost impressed as we start to wander around. It’s not too bad as far as zoos go, I still don’t like the concept of a zoo, but I appreciate that with some species, the few animals breeding in captivity are all there are of the population left in the world.
    We stand looking at the seals for a while licking an enormous ice-cream.
    I get a call from Alex.
    “Want to do something fun this afternoon?”
    “ I’m at the zoo eating ice-cream and watching the seals.”
    “ Ah, how lovely. Tomorrow?”
    “ What do you have in mind?”
    “ Having a tattoo.”
    “ No. I hate them.” I surprised he is suggesting this as he hasn’t got a single tattoo on his body.
    “ Just a small “Alex” for me and you.”
    “ It’s rather egotistical having your own name tattooed on your body.”
    “ It’s not my name. You’d have mine. I’d have yours.”
    “ Ha ha, very amusing... I don’t know. Maybe.”
    “ I’ll pick you up at ten tomorrow.”
    “ I said maybe....”
    “ Kiss you there.”
    “ Kiss you back.”
    “’ Bye beautiful.”
    I’m giggling like an idiot as I finish my call and Toni tut-tuts at my stupid expression.
    “No need to ask who that was.”
    “ We’re going out tomorrow morning.”
    “ Where to?”
    “ Don’t laugh. To get a tattoo done.”
    “ You are not!” Toni knows I hate them. I know she’s got a couple.
    “ We are.” Suddenly I’m looking forward to it, in an odd kind of way.
    “ Well I’d never have believed it!”
    * * *
    We sit at the table eating dinner, which I have cooked. It’s my special ‘chuck it all in’