Where Words Fail by Katheryn Kiden, Kathy Krick, Melissa Gill, Kelsey Keeton Page B

puppy when Jameson got here earlier.”
    I scoffed. “What were you eavesdropping on us girl’s conversation?”
    “Nope.” He shook his head and got his serious Alex look on his face. The one that he used when he meant business. “Izzy came and laid with me when she got home like she usually does. She talks, I pretend to sleep. It’s the only way I find out what she’s actually feeling. She’s got this need to make us think she’s strong and ok with everything. It’s usually about how scared she is to lose me, or how much she hates not having a mom, but today it was different.”
    “How’s that?” I asked.
    “Today, she wasn’t scared about losing me. She was scared about losing you again.”
    I shook my head, pinning him with my glare. “What the hell is that supposed to mean. She’s never lost me and I don’t plan on ever going anywhere...”
    “Not physically, Abby. I don’t think you realize it but whenever someone tries to get close, you close up. She feels like she’s loses you. We all do. With him coming back, we’re all scared something is going to happen and you’re going to disappear on us. But Izzy can tell that you’re both sad and she doesn’t want you to feel like that.”
    “I don’t want you guys to feel like that,” I whispered.
    “I know, so this is what I have to tell you and you better listen close because these words of wisdom don’t come easy for me anymore.” He stared at me, his eyes looking like he was about to cry. “Forget about everyone else. Don’t let anyone tell you who to love. It’s nobody’s business but yours. I might not like it, but it’s not my choice. It’s not Tuesday’s, it’s not Jason’s, it’s not AJ’s and it isn’t Izzy’s. As long as he treats you good, so be it. We’ll all be happy for you as long as you’re happy. But don’t settle unless you’re happy.”
    With that he got up and kissed me on the forehead and left the kitchen. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say to what Alex had just told me. He always told me he would scare off anyone that didn’t fit his standard of perfect for me, and now he’s telling me to go after whoever I want. He’s like a walking contradiction lately, and I’m starting to wonder if the meds are messing with his mind.
    After sitting at the table for a good ten minutes I could tell the awkwardness wasn’t going to get any better until we talked. Not that Izzy’s animated conversations with all of us weren’t helping, but nothing was getting what Jameson said to me earlier off my mind.
    I had always wondered what made him leave without telling me, and his reason, well... It was a pretty fucking good one. One I couldn’t hate him for. Yeah, I hate him for leaving and I hate him for how he did it, but I admire the reason behind it.
    When dinner was over and the table had been cleared, everyone headed towards the living room because Izzy wanted Alex to play some songs with her on his guitar. I, however, headed to the kitchen and grabbed the largest travel mug I could find and poured a mixture of iced tea and moonshine into it. I downed probably a quarter of it before heading into the living room. I was going to need it to get through what I was going to do.
    “Jameson,” I called. His eyes shot to mine. I nodded my head towards the door. “Take a ride with me.” He nodded and headed for the door without saying a word.
    Alex called out as I hit the door, making me turn back around. “You sure that’s such a good idea?”
    I raised my eyebrow and smiled. This is why I loved my brother. No matter what I was doing and no matter what hell he was going through, he still made sure I was ok. “Which part? The moonshine or…” I tilted my head towards Jameson. “That?”
    “Both...”
    “I’m good. I’ll make him drive and I have my phone. I’ll be ok. I promise.” He nodded, and I turned to make my way out to the truck, tossing Jameson the keys on my way.
    The ride to the lake was