seeing Jordan again. Also, there was a great deal of irritation at myself for feeling so nervous and excited. It was a vicious cycle.
I stood in front of the mirror hanging on my closet door, frowning at my reflection as I tried not to see all the problems with my clothes. This wasn't me; all this worrying about what someone would think of my outfit. It was frustrating.
I grabbed my phone from my dresser and considered canceling on Jordan for the fifth time. I ran my fingers over the screen, opening up my texts and seeing the most recent one from him.
Looking forward to tonight. X
I started typing a message to tell him I wasn't feeling well when I heard a tap on my door. Kas poked her head in and paused, both eyebrows raised as she assessed me. "I was just coming to see how it was going."
"It's not. I'm not. This isn't me." I gestured to myself with the hand still holding my phone. "I'm not this girl."
Kas tilted her head, scrutinizing my shirt for a moment before heading to my closet. She rummaged as she spoke. "Then make it you, Lili. Don't make excuses. This is good. It's not like this will be a long term thing. I mean, you said the guy is leaving in a few days, right?"
I sat on the foot of my bed, watching her flip through my clothes. "He leaves Saturday. He'll be stationed in Hawaii. It doesn't matter, though. I don't date, Kas. You know that." She pulled out several pieces and tossed them behind me.
"This. With your black tights and your red heels," she said with a nod, obviously proud of her selection.
I glanced behind me at the outfit. My favorite black and red patterned tank with a black mesh off the shoulder shirt. She teamed it with the pleated black skirt I used for work, which was longer than a lot of my others.
I reached behind me and released the zipper of the short pink and black dress I was wearing, tossing it toward the pile of discards next to the bed. Then I pulled on the outfit Kas had laid out, examining it carefully. "This might actually work."
I grabbed the tights she recommended from my top drawer and sat down beside her again to pull them on under my skirt. Once I was dressed and in my heels, I dug through my jewelry, pulling out a pair of black angel wing earrings with a matching necklace. I turned to the mirror again as I put the jewelry on, surprised at how well it came together.
"See. Maybe it is you after all," Kas said as she leaned her head over my shoulder, meeting my eyes in the mirror. I took a deep breath, meaning to thank her but the door to my room burst open and Conner ran inside.
"Conner, knock first." I heard Zane's voice coming down the hall.
"Sorry," Conner said as he climbed onto my bed. He immediately started jumping and I turned, laughing.
Zane tapped his knuckles against my doorframe uselessly and gave Conner a disapproving look. "You know better than to go into someone's room without knocking." He turned to me, his mouth open to say something but he froze. His eyes traced my body from my face to my shoes and back again without a word. I felt locked in place by gaze, unable to look away. It was an intimate type of stare and I could feel his eyes almost as if it were his fingers on my skin. My face warmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny.
Kas cleared her throat and Zane's mouth snapped shut, his eyes releasing me as he looked over at her and then at Conner. Anywhere but me. "Oh. Umm… I was going to take Conner to get some food and he wanted to see if you were hungry."
"Lili has a date tonight," Kas teased. I turned, narrowing my eyes at her in a wordless plea for her to stop talking.
Zane nodded, his eyes still on Conner. "Right. Of course. What about you, Kas? I know Tish is at the shop working on his stuff for the convention. You want to join us?"
Kas shrugged, swatting me playfully on the backside. "Think you can manage without a meltdown now?" She watched me curiously, gauging my expression.
I glanced away from the door, unsure of what she saw on my
I stood in front of the mirror hanging on my closet door, frowning at my reflection as I tried not to see all the problems with my clothes. This wasn't me; all this worrying about what someone would think of my outfit. It was frustrating.
I grabbed my phone from my dresser and considered canceling on Jordan for the fifth time. I ran my fingers over the screen, opening up my texts and seeing the most recent one from him.
Looking forward to tonight. X
I started typing a message to tell him I wasn't feeling well when I heard a tap on my door. Kas poked her head in and paused, both eyebrows raised as she assessed me. "I was just coming to see how it was going."
"It's not. I'm not. This isn't me." I gestured to myself with the hand still holding my phone. "I'm not this girl."
Kas tilted her head, scrutinizing my shirt for a moment before heading to my closet. She rummaged as she spoke. "Then make it you, Lili. Don't make excuses. This is good. It's not like this will be a long term thing. I mean, you said the guy is leaving in a few days, right?"
I sat on the foot of my bed, watching her flip through my clothes. "He leaves Saturday. He'll be stationed in Hawaii. It doesn't matter, though. I don't date, Kas. You know that." She pulled out several pieces and tossed them behind me.
"This. With your black tights and your red heels," she said with a nod, obviously proud of her selection.
I glanced behind me at the outfit. My favorite black and red patterned tank with a black mesh off the shoulder shirt. She teamed it with the pleated black skirt I used for work, which was longer than a lot of my others.
I reached behind me and released the zipper of the short pink and black dress I was wearing, tossing it toward the pile of discards next to the bed. Then I pulled on the outfit Kas had laid out, examining it carefully. "This might actually work."
I grabbed the tights she recommended from my top drawer and sat down beside her again to pull them on under my skirt. Once I was dressed and in my heels, I dug through my jewelry, pulling out a pair of black angel wing earrings with a matching necklace. I turned to the mirror again as I put the jewelry on, surprised at how well it came together.
"See. Maybe it is you after all," Kas said as she leaned her head over my shoulder, meeting my eyes in the mirror. I took a deep breath, meaning to thank her but the door to my room burst open and Conner ran inside.
"Conner, knock first." I heard Zane's voice coming down the hall.
"Sorry," Conner said as he climbed onto my bed. He immediately started jumping and I turned, laughing.
Zane tapped his knuckles against my doorframe uselessly and gave Conner a disapproving look. "You know better than to go into someone's room without knocking." He turned to me, his mouth open to say something but he froze. His eyes traced my body from my face to my shoes and back again without a word. I felt locked in place by gaze, unable to look away. It was an intimate type of stare and I could feel his eyes almost as if it were his fingers on my skin. My face warmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny.
Kas cleared her throat and Zane's mouth snapped shut, his eyes releasing me as he looked over at her and then at Conner. Anywhere but me. "Oh. Umm… I was going to take Conner to get some food and he wanted to see if you were hungry."
"Lili has a date tonight," Kas teased. I turned, narrowing my eyes at her in a wordless plea for her to stop talking.
Zane nodded, his eyes still on Conner. "Right. Of course. What about you, Kas? I know Tish is at the shop working on his stuff for the convention. You want to join us?"
Kas shrugged, swatting me playfully on the backside. "Think you can manage without a meltdown now?" She watched me curiously, gauging my expression.
I glanced away from the door, unsure of what she saw on my
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