What the Lightning Sees: Part Three by Louise Bay Page B

without Jake, but I needed to try or bury all that deeper.
     

     
    Monday morning meetings got less painful as time passed since I’d last seen Jake in the chair opposite me.
    After Robert rejected my article about women in the tech industry, I’d fallen back into line and he’d approved my research of the rise of the use of Botox. Perfect. I’d asked Emily to take the lead on it and she was excited. It was nice to have someone at work who wasn’t openly hostile to me.
    “Haven, can I have five minutes?” Robert asked at the end of the meeting.
    I nodded, gathered up my pad, pen and diet Coke and followed him to his office.
    “The elite dating article has been really well received, Haven. Well done,” he said as he closed his office door behind him. “And on top of the Sandy Fox piece, I think the features we’ve had over the last six months have been excellent.”
    “That’s great. I’m really pleased.” Why did it feel as though I was about to get fired?
    “I spoke to Carole at the weekend.”
    I took a deep breath.
    “She’s not coming back from maternity.”
    My palms were beginning to sweat. I fiddled with the cap of my diet Coke in an attempt to distract myself from what Robert was about to say.
    He smiled. “And I’d like you to be my new deputy editor.”
    My heart pounded through my chest but I wasn’t sure it was with joy and excitement. “I . . . I don’t know what . . . I wasn’t expecting . . .” What was my problem? Hadn’t I been working up to this moment since I joined Rallegra ?
    Robert laughed. “Take a breath. I don’t want you passing out on me. Don’t say anything to anyone at the moment. I’ve asked human resources to do the paperwork. It’s a significant uplift in salary, and you’ll be eligible for a bonus. But then, it’s never been about the money with you, has it?”
    I shook my head. “Thank you. I’m just a little overwhelmed.”
    “You’re great at your job, Haven. You deserve this. Now get out of here.”
    I went back to my desk in a bit of a trance. I collected my phone from my bag and headed out to the stairwell, dialing Luke’s number before I reached the door.
    “Can you talk?” I asked as he answered.
    “Of course. What’s going on?”
    “I just got offered the deputy editorship.”
    “What? That’s incredible. Congratulations. Did it just happen?”
    “Yeah, Robert just told me.”
    “It’s what you’ve been wanting since you got there. I’m so proud of you. We should celebrate. You, me and Ash. Are you free this evening?”
    For some reason I didn’t want to celebrate. I didn’t feel excited or even relieved. I felt uncomfortable. My mind kept drifting to Jake and the person I was with him. The person I was able to be with him. That person wasn’t the Haven who existed at Rallegra .
    “It’s Monday. And you haven’t seen Emma all weekend. She’ll kill you.”
    “She won’t care, and she’s working late anyway.”
    “Okay, but can we stay in and celebrate?” I didn’t want to run the risk of seeing Jake again, and however unlikely that was in a city of eight million people, I needed to remove all possibilities. I had to create a world without Jake, because if he didn’t exist it might just be possible to live without him. I’d learned to live without my parents because I’d had to. I could do the same with Jake.

 
    Jake
    “Who are you calling?” Beth asked.
    “Millie,” I replied.
    “What the hell, why?”
    “I’ve not heard from her for two weeks. What if something’s happened with the baby? She’s not picking up any of my calls.”
    “I’m sure you would be the first to know if there was anything serious. She’s probably trying to con some other ex into thinking it’s his baby. She clearly wanted to get married, and saw getting knocked up as a short cut.”
    “She’s not as bad as you think she is.”
    “What? She’s awful. You know that.”
    “Listen, my kid has half her genes, so you need