What the Lightning Sees: Part Three by Louise Bay Page A

different for you; he has feelings for you. He told you he loved you. You have a chance at being with the man you love. Don’t waste it. And before you say anything, you don’t know what’s going on with Millie. He’s a good guy. He’s probably just trying to keep her happy. If he was in love with her, he wouldn’t have broken up with her after three months. Don’t waste time like I have. Go after him or try to move on.”
    The thought of moving on, trying to date someone else, was just too much. It was as if someone had their fist around my heart and was gripping tighter and tighter.
    “I know you don’t want to talk about it,” she continued. “I just needed to say it. So, I think I’m going to say yes to Richard. What have I got to lose?”
    “Richard is the hot doctor?”
    Ash nodded. “And I think I’m not going to come to Sunday night dinner quite as often.”
    It was tough to think that our happy routine was going to change, but it was the right thing for Ash and I was really pleased for her.
    “I get it.”
    “I could ask Richard if he has a hot friend and we could double.”
    “Can I take a few days to think about that? I need some time to adjust.” It was going to take something more than time.
    Ash squeezed my hand.
     

     
    Emma was visiting her parents, so Luke was doing Sunday dinner at their place. I wouldn’t have peeled myself out of bed for any other reason. No doubt Jake would be spending the day with Millie, and if I stayed at home on my own it would be the only thing I could think about.
    “You look terrible,” Luke said as he opened the door.
    “Wow, and they say you don’t have any charm. I don’t know where they come up with these ideas.” I followed him into the kitchen. “So, you’re actually cooking? We’re not getting Chinese?” Unless Ash and I were there doing it for him, Sunday dinner at Luke’s was normally delivered. Although we’d never talked about it, I assumed it was some kind of reaction to not being able to pursue his dreams of being a chef. That if he couldn’t be amazing at it, he didn’t want to try at all.
    “I thought I’d make an effort,” he said. “But it’s baked potato and salmon, so don’t get too excited.”
    “Okay, I can live with that.”
    “So, what’s with the hangover face?”
    “Ash and I went out last night.”
    “Is that why Ash bailed? Does she know Emma’s not going to be here?”
    I nodded. I wasn’t technically lying because she did know that Emma wouldn’t be around, but I was ignoring the first part of the question. Luke accepted that Ash didn’t like Emma. I wasn’t sure whether he cared. He never seemed to defend Emma or try to justify why he was with her. I suppose he didn’t need to. It was his choice and his life, but she was separate, compartmentalized away from the rest of his life. How did he do that? My feelings for Jake ran through my veins and consumed me. I couldn’t put him in a box like that.
    “So how come you didn’t go with Emma to see her parents?”
    “I didn’t want to and she didn’t ask. So what did you get up to last night?”
    “We went to Soho for a few drinks and then came home and hit the tequila.” There was no need to tell him about Jake.
    “Did you meet any new friends?” he asked.
    I rolled my eyes at him. “You sound like such a granddad. Yes, I made new friends.”
    “Good. And Ash?”
    “Yes, we both made new friends.”
    He raised his eyebrows and turned to me. “Really? Anything serious?”
    “What?” We seemed to be having two different conversations.
    “Nothing. Have you spoken to Jake?”
    “No, and I don’t want to talk about him. We’re finished. That’s it. Move on. I have.” Last night was evidence that I hadn’t moved on. I was exactly where I’d been the moment I broke up with him. I wasn’t sure it was as easy as simply choosing to, as Ash had described this morning. I couldn’t imagine not feeling like this, so dark, so raw, so empty