Spath became so absent-minded that I knew she could not forget it either. I heard her whispering with Lehzen. I could not hear what was said but I knew from Lehzen's manner that she was giving Spath stern advice.
A UNT SOPHIA WAS having a little party in her rooms at Kensington Palace. There would be music and my two cousins George Cambridge and George Cumberland would be there, and so would Aunt Adelaide.
Aunt Adelaide, now Queen Adelaide, had come to ask Mama's permission for me to attend.
“Victoria sings so prettily,” said Aunt Adelaide. “We do want her to come.”
Mama graciously said I might go.
Mama never treated Aunt Adelaide as though she were the Queen. Indeed seeing them together one would have thought that Mama was of superior rank. Some might have resented that; Aunt Adelaide did not. She was all for peace and for overcoming family quarrels and getting us all together. I often thought that if they had all been like her we should have been a happier family.
I practiced singing with Mr. Sale all the morning; Lehzen had said other lessons might be set aside for once; and Mr. Sale said I was in good voice and was sure they would all enjoy my singing.
Lehzen helped me dress in my lovely white silk dress with the blue sash and white satin slippers.
“Lehzen,” I said, “do I look too fat?”
“You look lovely.”
“But fat! Sir John said I was a plump little princess.”
“That man! If you are plump, my dearest, then it is good to be plump. They will all think how beautiful you are and when they hear you sing…well, they will be astounded.”
“Oh Lehzen, you are the dearest person in the world.”
“Now, now. Stay calm. Remember you have to give a performance.”
What a pleasant afternoon! I did like my two cousins, they were both very attentive, and after my performance, which was very much applauded, Aunt Adelaide kissed me and said I sang like an angel. She also whispered how delighted she was that I had come and that the King wanted me to go and see him; and she was sure, if my Mama would allow it, there could be many happy gatherings like this with all the children.
I supposed that meant the little FitzClarences. I was sure Mama would not allow that; and it struck me as strange that a queen could love little children whereas a mere duchess thought herself too good for them.
I said, “I should love to come and to see the King.”
She smiled as though we shared a secret and said she would do her best to arrange it.
When I arrived back in our apartments it was to find Lehzen distraught and Spath almost hysterical with grief.
“What has happened?” I cried.
Spath could not speak but Lehzen came to me and put her arms round me.
“The Baroness is to leave us,” she said.
“To leave us!”
“Yes, she is going to your sister. Feodore needs her now that she is a mother. The Duchess thinks that Feodore needs her more than you do.”
“But I can't lose Spath.”
Spath emerged from her grief to give me a loving look. I dashed to her, “Oh dear, dear Spath… what does it mean? I will go to Mama…I will not have it. I am going to the Queen. I will not have it, Spath.”
Lehzen said quickly, “You must not talk like that. It is unseemly to talk of seeing the Queen. Neither the King nor the Queen would like it. It is very wrong. Baroness Spath is going, and sad as that makes us, we must think of the joy your sister will have in welcoming her. She needs help with her babies.”
“I am sure Feodore could find someone to help her with the babies and she would not want me to lose dear Spath. I will go to Mama.”
“It is already settled. Your mother and … er … Sir John have decided.”
“That
odious man
.”
Neither Lehzen nor Spath contradicted me. They hated him as much as I did.
I embraced Spath and we clung together, mingling our tears. I knew, and she knew, that there was nothing we could do.
One day, I told myself, it will be different.
T HERE WAS GLOOM in our
A UNT SOPHIA WAS having a little party in her rooms at Kensington Palace. There would be music and my two cousins George Cambridge and George Cumberland would be there, and so would Aunt Adelaide.
Aunt Adelaide, now Queen Adelaide, had come to ask Mama's permission for me to attend.
“Victoria sings so prettily,” said Aunt Adelaide. “We do want her to come.”
Mama graciously said I might go.
Mama never treated Aunt Adelaide as though she were the Queen. Indeed seeing them together one would have thought that Mama was of superior rank. Some might have resented that; Aunt Adelaide did not. She was all for peace and for overcoming family quarrels and getting us all together. I often thought that if they had all been like her we should have been a happier family.
I practiced singing with Mr. Sale all the morning; Lehzen had said other lessons might be set aside for once; and Mr. Sale said I was in good voice and was sure they would all enjoy my singing.
Lehzen helped me dress in my lovely white silk dress with the blue sash and white satin slippers.
“Lehzen,” I said, “do I look too fat?”
“You look lovely.”
“But fat! Sir John said I was a plump little princess.”
“That man! If you are plump, my dearest, then it is good to be plump. They will all think how beautiful you are and when they hear you sing…well, they will be astounded.”
“Oh Lehzen, you are the dearest person in the world.”
“Now, now. Stay calm. Remember you have to give a performance.”
What a pleasant afternoon! I did like my two cousins, they were both very attentive, and after my performance, which was very much applauded, Aunt Adelaide kissed me and said I sang like an angel. She also whispered how delighted she was that I had come and that the King wanted me to go and see him; and she was sure, if my Mama would allow it, there could be many happy gatherings like this with all the children.
I supposed that meant the little FitzClarences. I was sure Mama would not allow that; and it struck me as strange that a queen could love little children whereas a mere duchess thought herself too good for them.
I said, “I should love to come and to see the King.”
She smiled as though we shared a secret and said she would do her best to arrange it.
When I arrived back in our apartments it was to find Lehzen distraught and Spath almost hysterical with grief.
“What has happened?” I cried.
Spath could not speak but Lehzen came to me and put her arms round me.
“The Baroness is to leave us,” she said.
“To leave us!”
“Yes, she is going to your sister. Feodore needs her now that she is a mother. The Duchess thinks that Feodore needs her more than you do.”
“But I can't lose Spath.”
Spath emerged from her grief to give me a loving look. I dashed to her, “Oh dear, dear Spath… what does it mean? I will go to Mama…I will not have it. I am going to the Queen. I will not have it, Spath.”
Lehzen said quickly, “You must not talk like that. It is unseemly to talk of seeing the Queen. Neither the King nor the Queen would like it. It is very wrong. Baroness Spath is going, and sad as that makes us, we must think of the joy your sister will have in welcoming her. She needs help with her babies.”
“I am sure Feodore could find someone to help her with the babies and she would not want me to lose dear Spath. I will go to Mama.”
“It is already settled. Your mother and … er … Sir John have decided.”
“That
odious man
.”
Neither Lehzen nor Spath contradicted me. They hated him as much as I did.
I embraced Spath and we clung together, mingling our tears. I knew, and she knew, that there was nothing we could do.
One day, I told myself, it will be different.
T HERE WAS GLOOM in our
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