happened, but I know I’m okay
now. Please, don’t let anything stand between you and this baptism
today.”
He rose slowly, pulling me up to my
feet as he did. I didn’t want to tell him but I was incredibly
lightheaded.
“ Are you sure you’re going
to be okay?” he asked gently.
“ Yeah—let’s…” I glanced
down at my watch and realized that we’d prayed for thirty minutes.
Where had that time gone? It seemed that we’d only knelt down a few
moments ago. “We’d better get going.”
All the way to church, I felt horrible
for placing some kind of cloud over what was supposed to be a happy
event. But his concerned and perplexed expression began to
immediately lighten as we were welcomed into the church with open
arms. Pastor Anderson had been doing some major damage control
during the week and all those cold shoulders had melted into a warm
and happy reunion of sorts.
The service was beautiful and I could
tell by the end of it that Giorgio and Celeste were glad that they
decided to attend with us. Pastor Anderson stated that we were
having a baptism at the end, and if any of the church members would
like to join our family in witnessing the event they were welcomed
to stay. I was pleasantly surprised that no one got up to
leave.
Before they took Micah behind the
stage to prepare, I went up to sing my first song for him. I
reminded everyone that when God forgives us, those things are
separated as far from us as the east is from the west, and though
there may be times when we feel like we’re just one mistake away
from God abandoning us, He is always with us, always faithful to
forgive.
The lights in the building were
lowered. I listened to the first gentle piano cords and I couldn’t
help but for my mind to drift back to the night my husband couldn’t
sleep. The night I found him on the pool deck, drowning in his
regrets.
“ Here I am, Lord, and I'm
drowning in your sea of forgetfulness. The chains of yesterday
surround me. I yearn for peace and rest. I don't want to end up
where You found me. And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake
tonight…but today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You
leaving me this way…I can't bear to see the man I've been come
rising up in me again. In the arms of Your mercy I find rest…You
know just how far the east is from the west; from one scarred hand
to the other…”
I continued, without crying, all the
way to the end. Micah seemed to be absorbing every word, and with
every word a slow smile was working its way across his face. By the
final chorus, he was singing silently with me and a look of
relaxation replaced that small amount of tension that he had been
feeling over his pending baptism.
One of the deacons had already started
leading him away as I returned to where we had been sitting, so I
wouldn’t get to give him a kiss before he went back to the
baptismal, but that was okay because the look he had given me spoke
volumes about how much he liked the song. I had two other deacons
that I had armed with cameras waiting behind the stage to get
several shots of the event from a different view, which allowed me
to sit with our family and watch from the sanctuary. The curtain
was drawn back and Micah was standing behind the half-glass wall in
a white robe in slightly lower than chest deep water with Pastor
Anderson. The pastor explained the significance of the baptismal
ceremony and then showed Micah how to hold his arms as he
continued. “I baptize you my brother, in the name of the Father,
and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Buried in baptism…” He was
pushing Micah backwards and under the water, and then pulling him
upward and out of the water. “…Raised to walk in newness of
life.”
Everyone was clapping,
Celeste was crying, Kimmy was cheering, and all I could do was
smile as I headed back up on to the stage to finish with the final
song I had chosen for him. They told me it would take several
minutes before he would be ready to come
now. Please, don’t let anything stand between you and this baptism
today.”
He rose slowly, pulling me up to my
feet as he did. I didn’t want to tell him but I was incredibly
lightheaded.
“ Are you sure you’re going
to be okay?” he asked gently.
“ Yeah—let’s…” I glanced
down at my watch and realized that we’d prayed for thirty minutes.
Where had that time gone? It seemed that we’d only knelt down a few
moments ago. “We’d better get going.”
All the way to church, I felt horrible
for placing some kind of cloud over what was supposed to be a happy
event. But his concerned and perplexed expression began to
immediately lighten as we were welcomed into the church with open
arms. Pastor Anderson had been doing some major damage control
during the week and all those cold shoulders had melted into a warm
and happy reunion of sorts.
The service was beautiful and I could
tell by the end of it that Giorgio and Celeste were glad that they
decided to attend with us. Pastor Anderson stated that we were
having a baptism at the end, and if any of the church members would
like to join our family in witnessing the event they were welcomed
to stay. I was pleasantly surprised that no one got up to
leave.
Before they took Micah behind the
stage to prepare, I went up to sing my first song for him. I
reminded everyone that when God forgives us, those things are
separated as far from us as the east is from the west, and though
there may be times when we feel like we’re just one mistake away
from God abandoning us, He is always with us, always faithful to
forgive.
The lights in the building were
lowered. I listened to the first gentle piano cords and I couldn’t
help but for my mind to drift back to the night my husband couldn’t
sleep. The night I found him on the pool deck, drowning in his
regrets.
“ Here I am, Lord, and I'm
drowning in your sea of forgetfulness. The chains of yesterday
surround me. I yearn for peace and rest. I don't want to end up
where You found me. And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake
tonight…but today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You
leaving me this way…I can't bear to see the man I've been come
rising up in me again. In the arms of Your mercy I find rest…You
know just how far the east is from the west; from one scarred hand
to the other…”
I continued, without crying, all the
way to the end. Micah seemed to be absorbing every word, and with
every word a slow smile was working its way across his face. By the
final chorus, he was singing silently with me and a look of
relaxation replaced that small amount of tension that he had been
feeling over his pending baptism.
One of the deacons had already started
leading him away as I returned to where we had been sitting, so I
wouldn’t get to give him a kiss before he went back to the
baptismal, but that was okay because the look he had given me spoke
volumes about how much he liked the song. I had two other deacons
that I had armed with cameras waiting behind the stage to get
several shots of the event from a different view, which allowed me
to sit with our family and watch from the sanctuary. The curtain
was drawn back and Micah was standing behind the half-glass wall in
a white robe in slightly lower than chest deep water with Pastor
Anderson. The pastor explained the significance of the baptismal
ceremony and then showed Micah how to hold his arms as he
continued. “I baptize you my brother, in the name of the Father,
and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Buried in baptism…” He was
pushing Micah backwards and under the water, and then pulling him
upward and out of the water. “…Raised to walk in newness of
life.”
Everyone was clapping,
Celeste was crying, Kimmy was cheering, and all I could do was
smile as I headed back up on to the stage to finish with the final
song I had chosen for him. They told me it would take several
minutes before he would be ready to come
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