Unfaithful Wives' Guide
How to Rebuild the Trust
    This is most likely the most important chapter in the
book. You’ve probably heard men are visual creatures.
We get turned on by visual images every day. Well, you
can use this to your advantage, especially if you haven’t
officially broken of things with your lover. I suggest
ending your affair in the presence of your husband. Of
course, this should be done only after you have sincerely
apologized. You must be totally transparent from here on
out.
    The best breakup method is over the phone. I encourage
you to be distant and cold-hearted to you lover. Make it
abundantly clear the affair is over. Tell him he was one
big mistake and you want nothing more to do with him.
By all means, be nasty to him. If you really want to stay
with you man, this should be a “doable’ task. The
purpose of this is to make your husband believe you want
him and only him, and whatever caused you to have sex
with another man is no longer an issue. Do everything
you can to make it clear to him you have no other
“interests”. Now if for some reason you don’t wantto
breakup over the phone, you can use email or text,but
the phone is the best method. With the over the phone
method, your husband can see your expressions and
emotional states, and this will be a good benefit to the
reconnecting process.
    If you use one of the alternative methods, be sure to let
your husband see all of his responses.Translucence is a
key ingredient here. Also, if your “lover boy” is a
coworker, be sure to keep your distance from him at
work. If this doesn’t work, transfer to another
department, or if necessary consider quitting your job.
This will really convince your hubby you are serious about
repairing your relationship.
    There is one area however where you might not want to
be too fourth coming, the bedroom details. I can’t stress
this enough. Remember when I mentioned guys are
visual creatures? Telling him the details will create firm
haunting images in his head, images that will certainly
affect your progress in a negative way. You definitely
don’t want to tell him about a sex act you performed for
your lover that you have never done for your husband.
This will feel like spraying gasoline in your husband’s
eyes. Very painful! So unless you want to administer a
double dose of pain, don’t’ divulge the details, even if he
asks for them.

Rebuilding Steps
    Now your husband is going to have his “radar” focused
on you. If he told you he forgives you, he will still keep
an eye on you. Even if your husband is not particularly
observant, trust me, he is watching you. Make the effort
to be extra considerate to avoid suspicion. Leave you cell
phone where he can see it when you’re around him, and
make sure it is not on silent or stun. Answer it in front of
him if you get a call. If it’s your former lover, tell your
husband. Don’t do anything to make him think you might
be having secret conversations. You might want to skip
going out with the girls, and working late for a while or
he might conclude you are meeting lover boy.
    Also, if you try to force him to forgive you and quickly get
on with your lives, he will resent you even more and may
just give up on the relationship. He needs you to know
how badly you hurt him just as you probably would if you
were in his situation.
You've done one of the worse things imaginable, and its'
going to take time and effort from both of you to repair
it. There is no getting around
    Don’t get upset with him because he isn’t putting the
past behind you all as quickly as you would like. There
are times when his resentment might agitate you. You’ll
feel desperate and silly at times during the reconnecting
period. This is only temporary. Things will get better if
you stick it out. Exactly how long it will take for you and
your man to get close again will depend on how hard you
both work at rebuilding the relationship. Most couples
take three or four years or so to achieve a genuine,

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