solid recommitment to each other. If he is the love of your life, it’ll be worth the effort.
So what caused it? This section will help you address what pushed you over the edge. Remember, this is not to excuse your behavior, but more so to improve your awareness of your feelings and how you react to your feelings. In the future, you’ll be better equipped to handle your emotional states and not let them cause you to cheat. A common reason for cheating is loneliness within the relationship. Perhaps he stopped making you feel special. This is typical in relationships, whether there is infidelity or not. Maybe your self esteem leaves a lot to be desired. The important thing is you find out for yourself what exactly pushed to this extreme.
The Apology When you apologize, be sure to mention how he must of felt to find out about the affair. Don't say something as simple as "I know I hurt you and I'm very sorry." Your apology will carry more weight if you say something like, "You've always trusted me, even when we had our spats and disagreements. You've always been dedicated to our family. To find out that while you were working to take care of us, I was with someone else, must of felt like having your heart ripped from your chest." This will show him you have been thinking about what you did, and you're at least trying to understand his feelings. You should do some prep work before apologizing. Put yourself in his shoes. Go to a quite room, close your eyes and relive the moment he found out about your betrayal. Visualize the look on his face. Internalize the hurt and pain he must of felt. It won't be pleasant, but you need to have these emotions in your consciousness to effectively open the lines of communication. You might need to try this a few times to really obtain a better understand of how he feels. This will help you both in the long run. Make a verbal announcement to him declaring your commitment to save your marriage and to never be unfaithful again. Something to the tune of, "I'll promise I'll never betray you again no matter how bad things get and I'm 1000% certain I want and need you in my life." Now this will not necessarily cause him to suddenly forgive you completely, hold you in his arms, kiss you, turn all “lovey dovey” and plan a romantic getaway for the two of you. We men have pride and nothing and no one can hurt our pride the way our wives can.
Key points to remember It’s your fault if you cheated. If things were terrible and you couldn’t get him to see that, you should have separated instead of cheated. The male ego is sensitive and we communicate terribly. We are slow to explore feelings and emotions, even our own. A heated break up with your lover will be a good start on the road to relationship recovery with your husband. Transparency is necessary to rebuild the relationship. Keep your husband informed if your ex lover attempts to communicate with you. No more communication with your ex lover. Good luck in love,