taser.”
I hand the taser to Claire and the mace to Liz.
“Since when do they sell tasers at Target?” Claire asks, leaning forward in between
mine and Liz’s seats.
“Oh, they don’t. I actually brought that from home. Drew likes it when I use it
on his balls.”
“Fuck, Jenny. Overshare,” Liz complains.
I watch as they quietly and slowly open their doors and slink out of the car. They
shut their doors without a sound and crouch down, moving across the parking lot toward
the building. I immediately feel nervous and double-check the bush to make sure the
guy is still hiding behind it and not paying attention to my friends.
I turn on my walkie-talkie and hold down the talk button.
“Hey,” I whisper. “It’s Jenny.”
I let go of the button and within seconds hear Liz’s voice. “No shit, Sherlock.
We just made it to the back of the building,” she says softly, the sounds of her heavy
breathing coming through the walkie-talkie. “Don’t watch where we’re going. Don’t
act suspicious. Just keep an eye on stalker guy and let us know if he changes position.
Over and out Mrs. Pink.”
I stare at the device in my hand in confusion.
“Mrs. Pink?” I ask into the speaker.
“Yes, Mrs. Pink. I’m Mrs. Black, Claire is Mrs. Brown, and you’re Mrs. Pink,” Liz
explains.
I hear Claire snatch the walkie-talkie out of Liz’s hand seconds later. “I don’t want
to be Mrs. Brown. I want to be Mrs. Pink.”
“Yeah, I don’t get why I’m Mrs. Pink. I don’t even like the color pink,” I complain.
“Ooooh, I like the color pink. I’ll be Mrs. Pink and you can be Mrs. Brown,” Claire
tells me.
“No, brown makes me think of poop. I want to be Mrs. Blue. Blue is pretty.”
Suddenly there’s a scuffle and some cursing coming through the speaker.
“You guys are such dicks. We’re not changing secret names. Claire is Mrs. Brown
because of chocolate and you’re Mrs. Pink because pink makes me think of victims and
now if anyone is on this channel they’re going to know what we’re doing,” Liz explains
in irritation.
“So why are you Mrs. Black?” I question.
“Because I’m going to blacken your face if you guys don’t shut the fuck up. We are
supposed to be commandeering a suspect, not having a coloring contest.”
I sigh and rest my hand with the walkie-talkie in my lap, glancing out of the car
window to see if my stalker is still behind the bush. I can see the bush rustling
and what looks like a pair of black boots peeking out from underneath. Suddenly,
I see Liz and Jenny running full speed from the other side of the building, straight
at the bush. Without thinking, I throw the walkie-talkie onto the passenger seat
and scramble out of the car, rushing across the parking lot towards them.
As I’m running, I see Liz dive behind the bush and tackle someone. I can hear Claire
screaming at the top of her lungs, aiming her taser at the tangle of arms and legs
I see flying out from the edge of the bush.
I finally get close enough to hear what’s going on and see a quick flash of light
burst out from the end of the taser followed by a high pitch scream.
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU FUCK FACE. YOU JUST TASED ME!” Liz screams at Claire while
her body spasms and yet, she still manages to straddle the stalker’s back. She’s
got him face-planted into the ground and her elbow wrapped around his neck the whole
time the electric voltage from the taser is ripping through her. She’s like Rambo
on crack.
“OH MY GOD! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! SHIT!” Claire yells as she yanks the taser back
toward her to get it off of Liz.
“AAAAAHHHHHH! IT’S STUCK TO MY SKIN, YOU CUNT WHORE! CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!”
“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” Claire mumbles as she drops the taser to the ground and
rushes over to Liz while she bounces up and down on the guys back and tightens
I hand the taser to Claire and the mace to Liz.
“Since when do they sell tasers at Target?” Claire asks, leaning forward in between
mine and Liz’s seats.
“Oh, they don’t. I actually brought that from home. Drew likes it when I use it
on his balls.”
“Fuck, Jenny. Overshare,” Liz complains.
I watch as they quietly and slowly open their doors and slink out of the car. They
shut their doors without a sound and crouch down, moving across the parking lot toward
the building. I immediately feel nervous and double-check the bush to make sure the
guy is still hiding behind it and not paying attention to my friends.
I turn on my walkie-talkie and hold down the talk button.
“Hey,” I whisper. “It’s Jenny.”
I let go of the button and within seconds hear Liz’s voice. “No shit, Sherlock.
We just made it to the back of the building,” she says softly, the sounds of her heavy
breathing coming through the walkie-talkie. “Don’t watch where we’re going. Don’t
act suspicious. Just keep an eye on stalker guy and let us know if he changes position.
Over and out Mrs. Pink.”
I stare at the device in my hand in confusion.
“Mrs. Pink?” I ask into the speaker.
“Yes, Mrs. Pink. I’m Mrs. Black, Claire is Mrs. Brown, and you’re Mrs. Pink,” Liz
explains.
I hear Claire snatch the walkie-talkie out of Liz’s hand seconds later. “I don’t want
to be Mrs. Brown. I want to be Mrs. Pink.”
“Yeah, I don’t get why I’m Mrs. Pink. I don’t even like the color pink,” I complain.
“Ooooh, I like the color pink. I’ll be Mrs. Pink and you can be Mrs. Brown,” Claire
tells me.
“No, brown makes me think of poop. I want to be Mrs. Blue. Blue is pretty.”
Suddenly there’s a scuffle and some cursing coming through the speaker.
“You guys are such dicks. We’re not changing secret names. Claire is Mrs. Brown
because of chocolate and you’re Mrs. Pink because pink makes me think of victims and
now if anyone is on this channel they’re going to know what we’re doing,” Liz explains
in irritation.
“So why are you Mrs. Black?” I question.
“Because I’m going to blacken your face if you guys don’t shut the fuck up. We are
supposed to be commandeering a suspect, not having a coloring contest.”
I sigh and rest my hand with the walkie-talkie in my lap, glancing out of the car
window to see if my stalker is still behind the bush. I can see the bush rustling
and what looks like a pair of black boots peeking out from underneath. Suddenly,
I see Liz and Jenny running full speed from the other side of the building, straight
at the bush. Without thinking, I throw the walkie-talkie onto the passenger seat
and scramble out of the car, rushing across the parking lot towards them.
As I’m running, I see Liz dive behind the bush and tackle someone. I can hear Claire
screaming at the top of her lungs, aiming her taser at the tangle of arms and legs
I see flying out from the edge of the bush.
I finally get close enough to hear what’s going on and see a quick flash of light
burst out from the end of the taser followed by a high pitch scream.
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU FUCK FACE. YOU JUST TASED ME!” Liz screams at Claire while
her body spasms and yet, she still manages to straddle the stalker’s back. She’s
got him face-planted into the ground and her elbow wrapped around his neck the whole
time the electric voltage from the taser is ripping through her. She’s like Rambo
on crack.
“OH MY GOD! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! SHIT!” Claire yells as she yanks the taser back
toward her to get it off of Liz.
“AAAAAHHHHHH! IT’S STUCK TO MY SKIN, YOU CUNT WHORE! CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!”
“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” Claire mumbles as she drops the taser to the ground and
rushes over to Liz while she bounces up and down on the guys back and tightens
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