up,” Simon said, stepping between them. “If you kids don’t cut this out, I’m going to separate you and take away your video games. And books.” Lottie and Will whined at the same time and I couldn’t help but laugh with everyone else.
“You’re ridiculous,” Audrey said, tugging on a lock of Will’s shaggy hair.
“And you’re beautiful,” he said. Simon made gagging noises, but it was like the pot calling the kettle black. He and Brady were the sugary-sweetest couple I’d ever witnessed. I’d thought that maybe they were just in the honeymoon phase, but they still acted like they’d just met and were hopelessly obsessed with one another. They set a high relationship bar.
MY FRIENDS AND family were downright ridiculous. Between the happy couples and the wedding stuff and the baby news, it was like being around people who were on mood enhancers all the time. It was hard to be bitter and surly around them. I got contact happy.
When we got back to my room, Max and I did homework, but he seemed distracted. He wouldn’t stop tapping his pen on his textbook and it was driving me crazy.
“Sorry,” he said a million times before I got up and took the thing out of his hand.
“What’s up?” I said as I held the pen out of his reach. Sure, he could just stand up and take it from me, but he stayed seated. “Tell me and you’ll get the pen back.”
He rubbed his face and he looked really tired. It might still be from the date, but something told me it wasn’t.
“My mom said she and Dad would buy me a brand-new car if I came home.” Damn. That was intense. I handed the pen back to him and pulled my chair over so we could sit close to each other.
“I don’t even want to consider it, but…” he trailed off and shrugged. “That would mean I had transportation. I could stop working a bunch of jobs just to get by. I could work for my dad and I’d have a way to get around. It’s a tempting idea.” My heart dropped. For a fraction of a second, I thought about what my life would be like without him.
No. I couldn’t. It just wasn’t possible. I didn’t want my life to not have him in it.
He gave me a tight smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do it. But they’re playing hardball. Makes me wonder how far they’re going to go.” I took a shaking breath and tried to calm myself down.
“It’s not just school I don’t want to leave, it’s you and my new friends and freedom and everything. If I went home, I’m sure my mom would want me to dye my hair a normal color and wear different clothes and act properly and be someone who isn’t me. Now that I’m away from my parents, I realize how much they stifled me. Controlled me. I can’t… I can’t go back to that.” His voice was thick and I thought he might cry, but he cleared his throat and smiled again, this time sadly.
“It’s just hard to realize that even though you love your parents, they don’t accept who you are, and being around them means you can’t be yourself.” I was having a really hard time understanding his emotions. It didn’t mean I couldn’t sympathize with the fact that he was hurting, but I had never, ever loved my parents. When I thought about them I felt nothing. Not anger, not hatred. Nothing. I didn’t even know if they were still alive. It really didn’t matter anyway.
“I’m sorry, Max. If it helps, I like you just the way you are. I wouldn’t change you for anything.” He chuckled and pulled me toward him for a kiss.
“I wouldn’t change you, either.” I went back for another kiss. He’d touched my stomach on our date and it had been a test for me. To see if the bad thoughts and dark things would turn the sweet moment into something awful.
But when he touched me, all I could feel were his fingers, slightly calloused, and all I could see were his unbelievably blue eyes looking at me as if I was the only thing in the entire world that he had ever wanted.
We were still in separate
C. J. Cherryh
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