imagine himself wed to her, testing the idea in his mind like a tongue probing a sore tooth. She was certainly the best alternative thus far. And if he settled on her, he could immediately cease looking for a bride.
But could you live with that irrevocable decision?
Concluding that he could, Rayne left the ballroom, intent on finding Madeline Ellis and making her a proposal of marriage.
Chapter Five
I do not know what is more shocking, Maman. Haviland’s pursuit of me … or my yearning to surrender to his seduction
.
Madeline found refuge from her bout of melancholy in an unusual place: the children’s nursery.
The largest room was obviously used for teaching, judging by the small desks and the smattering of books and primers for young readers on the shelves, while next door were bedchambers, including one for an adult—probably a nanny or governess or nursemaid. The rooms all were freshly renovated and one had a new wooden cradle, Madeline saw, recalling that Arabella had said she was expecting her first child next spring.
Returning to the schoolroom, Madeline set her candle on a table and went to the window, cracking it open to let in a whiff of fresh air. The room was rather chilly but stuffy from disuse.
Even so, this nursery brought back wistful memories of her own childhood when her mother was still alive. They’d had so many wonderful times together …
Maman
teaching her and Gerard to read and do sums and locate on the globe the latest countries where Papa was serving.
Now, however, both her parents were gone, and her brother had married and moved on to a brand-new life without her. She had to make her own future now, all on her own.
Sinking onto the cushioned window seat, Madeline gazed out at the moonlit night. The Thames was down there beyond the terraced gardens, she knew. The scents reminded her of home as well, since their farm was situated on the Chelmer River. However, she could hear faint strains of music from the musicians in the ballroom below, which was strikingly different from home.
Attending the ball had been a mistake, Madeline reflected, since it had only made her feel dispirited. She was better off here, away from the gaiety below, where she could pretend to ignore the certainty that the prime of her life was passing her by. She would never be part of that glittering world—the Beau Monde with its beautiful, wealthy gentility.
And in truth, she didn’t want to be. Nor did she want to envy the flirtatious young ladies in their fashionable, expensive gowns and stylish coiffures.
And yet if she were one of their numbers, then Haviland might look at her in a different light. If she could afford flattering gowns to wear and a lady’s maid to dress her hair differently—
Stop that at once
, Madeline scolded herself angrily. She knew it was futile to let herself dwell on her straitened circumstances.
Just as there was no point in longing for her own children to fill a nursery like this, since she would never marry without love, and finding a husband whom she loved and who loved her in return seemed highly unlikely at this juncture in her life.
“I know,
Maman
, if wishes were horses, then beggars would have mounts to ride. And I can be perfectly content without a horse.”
“So this is where you have hidden yourself.”
Madeline started at the sound of Haviland’s deep male voice. Jumping to her feet, she whirled to face him and inhaled a quick breath at the sight.
The schoolroom suddenly seemed much smaller with him in it, she thought, seeing his tall, muscular form in all its formal glory. He was carrying his own lamp, and in the golden glow, he looked stunningly handsome with his pristine white cravat that contrasted so starkly with his tanned features and raven hair.
He glanced around, then fixed his blue gaze on her as he moved farther into the room. “Were you speaking to someone?”
She flushed, not wanting to admit that she regularly conversed with her late
But could you live with that irrevocable decision?
Concluding that he could, Rayne left the ballroom, intent on finding Madeline Ellis and making her a proposal of marriage.
Chapter Five
I do not know what is more shocking, Maman. Haviland’s pursuit of me … or my yearning to surrender to his seduction
.
Madeline found refuge from her bout of melancholy in an unusual place: the children’s nursery.
The largest room was obviously used for teaching, judging by the small desks and the smattering of books and primers for young readers on the shelves, while next door were bedchambers, including one for an adult—probably a nanny or governess or nursemaid. The rooms all were freshly renovated and one had a new wooden cradle, Madeline saw, recalling that Arabella had said she was expecting her first child next spring.
Returning to the schoolroom, Madeline set her candle on a table and went to the window, cracking it open to let in a whiff of fresh air. The room was rather chilly but stuffy from disuse.
Even so, this nursery brought back wistful memories of her own childhood when her mother was still alive. They’d had so many wonderful times together …
Maman
teaching her and Gerard to read and do sums and locate on the globe the latest countries where Papa was serving.
Now, however, both her parents were gone, and her brother had married and moved on to a brand-new life without her. She had to make her own future now, all on her own.
Sinking onto the cushioned window seat, Madeline gazed out at the moonlit night. The Thames was down there beyond the terraced gardens, she knew. The scents reminded her of home as well, since their farm was situated on the Chelmer River. However, she could hear faint strains of music from the musicians in the ballroom below, which was strikingly different from home.
Attending the ball had been a mistake, Madeline reflected, since it had only made her feel dispirited. She was better off here, away from the gaiety below, where she could pretend to ignore the certainty that the prime of her life was passing her by. She would never be part of that glittering world—the Beau Monde with its beautiful, wealthy gentility.
And in truth, she didn’t want to be. Nor did she want to envy the flirtatious young ladies in their fashionable, expensive gowns and stylish coiffures.
And yet if she were one of their numbers, then Haviland might look at her in a different light. If she could afford flattering gowns to wear and a lady’s maid to dress her hair differently—
Stop that at once
, Madeline scolded herself angrily. She knew it was futile to let herself dwell on her straitened circumstances.
Just as there was no point in longing for her own children to fill a nursery like this, since she would never marry without love, and finding a husband whom she loved and who loved her in return seemed highly unlikely at this juncture in her life.
“I know,
Maman
, if wishes were horses, then beggars would have mounts to ride. And I can be perfectly content without a horse.”
“So this is where you have hidden yourself.”
Madeline started at the sound of Haviland’s deep male voice. Jumping to her feet, she whirled to face him and inhaled a quick breath at the sight.
The schoolroom suddenly seemed much smaller with him in it, she thought, seeing his tall, muscular form in all its formal glory. He was carrying his own lamp, and in the golden glow, he looked stunningly handsome with his pristine white cravat that contrasted so starkly with his tanned features and raven hair.
He glanced around, then fixed his blue gaze on her as he moved farther into the room. “Were you speaking to someone?”
She flushed, not wanting to admit that she regularly conversed with her late
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