he was lying here in the grass when all the other bicyclists he’d seen were riding as if their lives depended on it.
“My name’s Eddy. And my bike has its third flat tyre of the day.” He pointed over by the road where a racing bike was lying on its side. “I just couldn’t take anymore. The finishing line is at the top of that mountain over there.”
Eddy pointed again and Nilly had to bend his neck back to see the peak of the snow-capped mountain in front of them.
“What about you, Nilly?”
“I came from the future,” Nilly said. “I think I came to the right time, but the wrong place. What year is it and what’s the name of this place?”
Eddy laughed even louder. “Thank you, Nilly. At least you’re cheering me up!”
“I’m not kidding.”
“Well,” Eddy said. “The year is 1969 and we’re in Inndarnit. Where were you supposed to be?”
“Inndarnit?” Nilly mumbled, scratching his left side-burn. “I was supposed to be somewhere that started with ‘Inn’ but I forgot the rest. Lisa must be there now, you know?”
“Lisa?”
“Yeah, we’re supposed to find Doctor Proctor. Maybe she’s already found him, and now they’re just waiting for me to show up. It’s actually totally crucial that I find them. Without them I’m going to be stuck here in 1969.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” Eddy said. He took a little drink from his water bottle and passed it to Nilly. “1969 really sucks.”
“Oh?” Nilly asked.
“Nothing but flat tyres in every single race,” Eddy said. “Just as bad as 1815 was for Napoléon.”
“1815? Napoléon?”
“Don’t you remember?”
Nilly thought about it. “I don’t think I was born then.”
“From history class, silly! June eighteenth, 1815. That was when Napoléon led his troops . . .”
“. . . across the Alps?” Nilly tried.
“No,” Eddy said, waving away a bumblebee. “That was when he took a licking in the Battle of Waterloo. And I know that quite well, because Waterloo is just a few minutes of Eddy-biking from my dad’s bike shop in Belgium. Totally flat country. You know what? Now that I’m giving up biking, I think I’ll go home and see if I can get a job there.”
“Good thinking,” Nilly said, taking a drink from the water bottle. “Because, really, what’s the point of biking up and down all these mountains? They’re way too big.”
“The point?” Eddy was staring at Nilly as if Nilly had reminded him of something he’d forgotten.
“Yeah,” Nilly said, gulping down more water. All this time travel had made him unusually thirsty.
“This is the Tour de France,” Eddy said. “Whoever wins this mountain stage wins money, gets kissed on the cheek by cute girls and will be interviewed on TV while everyone in France watches.”
Nilly thought about that, and began to see that perhaps there was some point to it after all. Especially the part about being kissed by cute girls. And being seen on TV by everyone in France couldn’t really hurt either . . .
“Hey!” Nilly cried. “Did you just say everyone in France ?”
“Absolutely everyone,” Eddy said. “Every TV in France is on for the Tour de France. You can’t not see it.”
“Even if you don’t have a TV at home?”
“They set up TVs in every single café, restaurant and country shop. Merde! You’ve got to stop making me talk about this stuff, Nilly! Now I just want to fling myself back on my bike and win this darned race!”
“That’s exactly what you’re going to do!” Nilly shouted. Then he ran over to Eddy and pulled him up onto his feet.
“What?” Eddy asked.
“First I’m going to help you fix your tyre and then we’re going to fart our way up to the top of this mountain and be interviewed on TV.”
“We?” Eddy asked as Nilly pushed him towards his bike.
“Yup. Because I’m going to sit in on the interview. And I’ll say that Lisa and Doctor Proctor have to come and pick me up, so we can return to our own
“My name’s Eddy. And my bike has its third flat tyre of the day.” He pointed over by the road where a racing bike was lying on its side. “I just couldn’t take anymore. The finishing line is at the top of that mountain over there.”
Eddy pointed again and Nilly had to bend his neck back to see the peak of the snow-capped mountain in front of them.
“What about you, Nilly?”
“I came from the future,” Nilly said. “I think I came to the right time, but the wrong place. What year is it and what’s the name of this place?”
Eddy laughed even louder. “Thank you, Nilly. At least you’re cheering me up!”
“I’m not kidding.”
“Well,” Eddy said. “The year is 1969 and we’re in Inndarnit. Where were you supposed to be?”
“Inndarnit?” Nilly mumbled, scratching his left side-burn. “I was supposed to be somewhere that started with ‘Inn’ but I forgot the rest. Lisa must be there now, you know?”
“Lisa?”
“Yeah, we’re supposed to find Doctor Proctor. Maybe she’s already found him, and now they’re just waiting for me to show up. It’s actually totally crucial that I find them. Without them I’m going to be stuck here in 1969.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” Eddy said. He took a little drink from his water bottle and passed it to Nilly. “1969 really sucks.”
“Oh?” Nilly asked.
“Nothing but flat tyres in every single race,” Eddy said. “Just as bad as 1815 was for Napoléon.”
“1815? Napoléon?”
“Don’t you remember?”
Nilly thought about it. “I don’t think I was born then.”
“From history class, silly! June eighteenth, 1815. That was when Napoléon led his troops . . .”
“. . . across the Alps?” Nilly tried.
“No,” Eddy said, waving away a bumblebee. “That was when he took a licking in the Battle of Waterloo. And I know that quite well, because Waterloo is just a few minutes of Eddy-biking from my dad’s bike shop in Belgium. Totally flat country. You know what? Now that I’m giving up biking, I think I’ll go home and see if I can get a job there.”
“Good thinking,” Nilly said, taking a drink from the water bottle. “Because, really, what’s the point of biking up and down all these mountains? They’re way too big.”
“The point?” Eddy was staring at Nilly as if Nilly had reminded him of something he’d forgotten.
“Yeah,” Nilly said, gulping down more water. All this time travel had made him unusually thirsty.
“This is the Tour de France,” Eddy said. “Whoever wins this mountain stage wins money, gets kissed on the cheek by cute girls and will be interviewed on TV while everyone in France watches.”
Nilly thought about that, and began to see that perhaps there was some point to it after all. Especially the part about being kissed by cute girls. And being seen on TV by everyone in France couldn’t really hurt either . . .
“Hey!” Nilly cried. “Did you just say everyone in France ?”
“Absolutely everyone,” Eddy said. “Every TV in France is on for the Tour de France. You can’t not see it.”
“Even if you don’t have a TV at home?”
“They set up TVs in every single café, restaurant and country shop. Merde! You’ve got to stop making me talk about this stuff, Nilly! Now I just want to fling myself back on my bike and win this darned race!”
“That’s exactly what you’re going to do!” Nilly shouted. Then he ran over to Eddy and pulled him up onto his feet.
“What?” Eddy asked.
“First I’m going to help you fix your tyre and then we’re going to fart our way up to the top of this mountain and be interviewed on TV.”
“We?” Eddy asked as Nilly pushed him towards his bike.
“Yup. Because I’m going to sit in on the interview. And I’ll say that Lisa and Doctor Proctor have to come and pick me up, so we can return to our own
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