Three of Hearts by Kelly Jamieson

house had been decorated with glittery garlands and poinsettias and wreaths. In fact, there was a second tree in the more formal living room, just as lavishly decorated.
    They were only symbols, and they didn’t have to even mean anything. I kept telling myself that. They were pretty. I should be able to admire them just for the aesthetic pleasure of it. But they made my stomach tighten and my mouth go dry and then I had a flashback to that stage—all decorated with a similar glittery tree—and the Christmas song I’d been singing.
    I had to close my eyes against it. It lasted only seconds, but it was enough to make my pulse rate spike; it felt like all the oxygen disappeared out of the room.
    Oh for fuck’s sake. Could I not even be in a room with Christmas decorations without this happening? I’d managed to avoid it for so many years, I’d really hoped I wasn’t going to react like this. And yes, Christmas decorations are difficult to avoid, but I’d gotten very good at it over the years.
    And anyway, it wasn’t as if Brandon was going to make us pick up instruments and start singing for the crowd.
    Feeling a tiny bit dizzy, I looked around for Ben and/or Lucas. I didn’t want to embarrass myself by leaving the party early. If I did, they’d ask more questions. But if I was heading into a panic attack, I needed to get the hell out of there.
    I excused myself from the group I was standing with and left the living room, wandered down the hall, peered into the great room, and spotted Ben on the far side of the room, near French doors that led outside. Fresh greens and twinkling white lights swagged the doors. He smiled down at a pretty brunette, his teeth white against his dark beard stubble, his smile so sexy.
    I paused, my feet stuck to the floor as if someone had glued them there.
    I blinked, watching him flirt with the girl.
    I’d seen this a million times. I may have mentioned that Lucas and Ben have girls after them all the time? Well, it was no different tonight. And yet, it was different, because tonight I felt a stab in my heart.
    Oh no no no . I pressed a hand to my chest. Just because we’d had sex didn’t mean anything had changed between us. I’d never asked for any promises, and they hadn’t offered them. And wasn’t it enough without all that? The chance to experience—even if it was only temporary—the undivided attention of two men who made me feel feminine and sexier than I’d ever imagined possible?
    So why did I find myself staring at Ben with another girl, feeling . . . Well, I didn’t really want to analyze what I was feeling, because none of it was good, and it was better to just push that all aside.
    My heart still tapped out a triple-time rhythm against my breastbone, though, which was somewhat uncomfortable.
    And then things got even worse. When I turned to leave that room, I came face-to-face with Cheyenne Ranger.
    It was a weird moment. We knew each other, but I didn’t know if she knew that I’d been dating Doug. I mean, it was pretty common knowledge, but who knows what he’d told her, and I’d been away on the road for a while.
    When her gaze skittered away from mine, though, I caught the flash in them and the faint color that washed into her face, and I knew that she knew, and I also knew that she knew I knew that she and Doug had been together. So it was altogether extremely uncomfortable.
    My gaze went past her in case Doug was with her, and goddammit, he was. He was handing his jacket to the blonde at the front door.
    Fucking hell.
    The only way to avoid him was to duck back into the great room, where Ben and very possibly Lucas were otherwise occupied. Which meant I had to unstick my feet from the floor and face something I didn’t want to see no matter what I did.
    My heart rate accelerated even more, and breathing became difficult as my lungs refused to expand, the lack of oxygen making my head go even lighter.
    I was not having fun at this party.

“Hey,