friend Neddie out of Juvenile Hole, I will help you get started in the direction of New Old Hackensack, where we hope you will catch up with the ghostly bunny."
"That is very nice of you."
"I am a very nice person."
"Can we really get Neddie out of Juvenile Hole?"
"It so happens, you have run into the very people who can do it."
"Is it like a prison? Do they beat them and starve them? Have you ever been there?"
"I have been there. Mostly they try to persuade you to behave in an acceptable manner, and make you look at television so you will develop acceptable values. They make you look at a lot of commercials, so you will want to buy the things being advertised and become a useful member of society with a job to make money..."
"So you can buy the things in the advertisements."
"Yes."
"Does it work?"
"It works better on older kids and adults. In my opinion, this is why they don't like kids here. We don't fit into the commercial routine so well. New Yapyap City is all about commerce. What they say is that kids are messy and sloppy, leave food wrappers on the street, make noise, and play loud music. But that is just an excuse to treat us mean."
"So you think they throw kids in jail just 'cause they don't want to buy..."
"The latest shoes, clothing, music, movies, junky foods, things like that. Some kids fit in with no trouble, and some do after a few visits to the Hole. And some never do, and never willâthat's me."
"Excuse my saying so, but it doesn't sound like a very nice place to be a kid."
"Not just New Yapyap City, but this whole region is ruled over by a tyrant. The city is the worst, though."
"A tyrant? What kind of tyrant? What's the tyrant's name?"
"Uncle."
"Uncle? Just Uncle?"
"We call him Uncleânot sure of the nameâit may not even be the same uncle all the time. It could be the uncle, and his sons, or someone elects or appoints a new uncle
every so often. I remember Uncle Rudy, Uncle Michaelâthere have even been female uncles."
"And they are called Aunt?"
"No, Uncle. It's like a title, like president, or mayor. Anyway, Uncle is strict and serious and not friendly to kids, all about keeping everything in perfect order, and protecting the people who own the most. They say he controls the police by witchcraft."
"I'd think you'd want to get out of town, especially if the tyranny and all that isn't as bad outside of town."
"Well, of course, I love Uncle Father, and being an urban mountaineer, and gooseberry pancakes, and there are nice things about the city tooâbut ... you're right, it sort of stinks. Which is why I was thinking of going with you and your friends to find the ghostly rabbit and see the big supernatural party and everything ... if that would be all right with you."
"We'd be delighted," Seamus Finn said.
CHAPTER 43
Shoofly Pie
While we waited for it to get dark enough to rescue Neddie, Uncle Father Palabra, the Farblonget brothers, Gwendolyn Marshrat, Big Audrey, Seamus Finn, and I ate gooseberry pancakes, drank cups of tea, and listened to Uncle Father Palabra tell stories of mountains and mountaineering. We also sang mountaineering songsâthat is, everybody but Seamus Finn and I sang mountaineering songs. We didn't know any mountaineering songs. Seamus and I sang as much as we could remember of "When They Drop the Atomic Bomb." Everybody said it was a good song. Then we sang "Nature Boy." They liked that even better, and said it was like a mountaineering song.
It was cozy and friendly, sitting around eating pancakes and drinking tea and telling stories and singing songs. The Farblonget brothers and Gwendolyn Marshrat coiled lengths of mountain-climbing rope and arranged pitons, carabiners, ascenders, descenders, D-rings, and various other metal gimmicks on loops of rope they attached to their belts. They also had big rubber suction cups to be used when climbing on windows and skylights.
"This is the plan," Uncle Father Palabra said. "Seamus and
"That is very nice of you."
"I am a very nice person."
"Can we really get Neddie out of Juvenile Hole?"
"It so happens, you have run into the very people who can do it."
"Is it like a prison? Do they beat them and starve them? Have you ever been there?"
"I have been there. Mostly they try to persuade you to behave in an acceptable manner, and make you look at television so you will develop acceptable values. They make you look at a lot of commercials, so you will want to buy the things being advertised and become a useful member of society with a job to make money..."
"So you can buy the things in the advertisements."
"Yes."
"Does it work?"
"It works better on older kids and adults. In my opinion, this is why they don't like kids here. We don't fit into the commercial routine so well. New Yapyap City is all about commerce. What they say is that kids are messy and sloppy, leave food wrappers on the street, make noise, and play loud music. But that is just an excuse to treat us mean."
"So you think they throw kids in jail just 'cause they don't want to buy..."
"The latest shoes, clothing, music, movies, junky foods, things like that. Some kids fit in with no trouble, and some do after a few visits to the Hole. And some never do, and never willâthat's me."
"Excuse my saying so, but it doesn't sound like a very nice place to be a kid."
"Not just New Yapyap City, but this whole region is ruled over by a tyrant. The city is the worst, though."
"A tyrant? What kind of tyrant? What's the tyrant's name?"
"Uncle."
"Uncle? Just Uncle?"
"We call him Uncleânot sure of the nameâit may not even be the same uncle all the time. It could be the uncle, and his sons, or someone elects or appoints a new uncle
every so often. I remember Uncle Rudy, Uncle Michaelâthere have even been female uncles."
"And they are called Aunt?"
"No, Uncle. It's like a title, like president, or mayor. Anyway, Uncle is strict and serious and not friendly to kids, all about keeping everything in perfect order, and protecting the people who own the most. They say he controls the police by witchcraft."
"I'd think you'd want to get out of town, especially if the tyranny and all that isn't as bad outside of town."
"Well, of course, I love Uncle Father, and being an urban mountaineer, and gooseberry pancakes, and there are nice things about the city tooâbut ... you're right, it sort of stinks. Which is why I was thinking of going with you and your friends to find the ghostly rabbit and see the big supernatural party and everything ... if that would be all right with you."
"We'd be delighted," Seamus Finn said.
CHAPTER 43
Shoofly Pie
While we waited for it to get dark enough to rescue Neddie, Uncle Father Palabra, the Farblonget brothers, Gwendolyn Marshrat, Big Audrey, Seamus Finn, and I ate gooseberry pancakes, drank cups of tea, and listened to Uncle Father Palabra tell stories of mountains and mountaineering. We also sang mountaineering songsâthat is, everybody but Seamus Finn and I sang mountaineering songs. We didn't know any mountaineering songs. Seamus and I sang as much as we could remember of "When They Drop the Atomic Bomb." Everybody said it was a good song. Then we sang "Nature Boy." They liked that even better, and said it was like a mountaineering song.
It was cozy and friendly, sitting around eating pancakes and drinking tea and telling stories and singing songs. The Farblonget brothers and Gwendolyn Marshrat coiled lengths of mountain-climbing rope and arranged pitons, carabiners, ascenders, descenders, D-rings, and various other metal gimmicks on loops of rope they attached to their belts. They also had big rubber suction cups to be used when climbing on windows and skylights.
"This is the plan," Uncle Father Palabra said. "Seamus and
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