out below. We must have looked like a big black turtle scooting along the sidewalk.
"This reminds me of something," Neddie said.
From behind us we heard a voice blaring over a loudspeaker: "Who put a shoofly pie over the lens of the television camera?"
And we heard Uncle Father Palabra shout, "It was I, Norman! Norman put the shoofly pie on your fershlugginer lens!"
"Hee hee!" Big Audrey giggled. "Now they're going to think Norman did it."
The next thing I knew, we were in the coracle on the river, the big Mahakahakakatuk, paddling and spinning.
CHAPTER 46
Big River
"This is Big Audrey," I told Neddie. "She and a bunch of other people rescued you from Juvenile Hole."
"Pleased to meet you, and thanks very much," Neddie said. "They have the biggest television screen I've ever seen down there. We have better programs in Los Angeles, but they have better ads in New Yapyap City. What kind of boat is this?"
"It's a coracle," Big Audrey said.
"It's round."
"It's all we've got. My uncle, Uncle Father Palabra, built it. Ancient type of boat."
"It doesn't steer all that well," Neddie said. That was the truth. The coracle had a tendency to spin and it careened all over the river. After a while, we started to get the hang of it. With two people paddling and two others using their paddles as rudders at the front and the back of the boatâassuming it had a front and a backâwe could get it to go more or less in one direction.
"What river is this?" Neddie wanted to know.
"It's the Mahakahakakatuk," Big Audrey said. "The object is to get to the other side."
"How long would it take if we were in something normal?" I asked.
"I don't know. Maybe half an hour."
"And as we are?"
"It looks like it will take all nightâhours, anyway."
"What are those hissing and clicking noises?"
"There are things in the river."
"Bad things?"
"Well, I wouldn't dangle my fingers in the water," Big Audrey said.
"Have you been on the river before?" I asked.
"No. People don't go on the river much. It's the things. This is the first time the coracle has been in the water, too. Considering Uncle Father built it from pictures in an encyclopedia, it's working fairly well, I'd say."
"It feels like something is gnawing on my oar," I said.
"I wouldn't be surprised," Big Audrey said. "What exactly are the things in this river?" Seamus Finn asked.
"Mostly eel-sharks," Big Audrey said.
"And they're bad?"
"How good can something that's an eel and a shark be?" There was an evil-smelling mist rising from the river, and the moon lit up patches of greasy-looking slime. We were quiet and serious as we paddled and steered for the far shore and listened to the hissing and clicking.
"At least there aren't any whales in this river," Seamus Finn said after a long time.
"Oh, there are," Big Audrey said. "They eat the eel-sharks."
We kept steering and paddling.
CHAPTER 47
Kind Hearts and Crunchy Granola
Dawn broke on the river. We were getting close to the shore. We were tired and hungry, and our hands were sore.
"Travel by
coracle
is the worst," Neddie said. "Who invented them, anyway?"
"Well, the word
coracle
comes from the Welsh
cwrwgl,
" Big Audrey said. "But they go back thousands of years, and similar boats turn up in all kinds of cultures. The
curragh
is an Irish boat, the Mandan Indians made bull boats, and the Iraqi
gufa,
the southern Indian
parisal,
and the Tibetan
ku-dru
are all along the same lines. As you can see, it's basically a big basket with hide stretched over it and tar spread over that to make it waterproof. And you have to admit, it got us where we wanted to go."
"Do you have Wales, and Mandan Indians, and Tibet in this world, same as ours?" Neddie asked.
"Apparently," Big Audrey said.
"I want to go someplace where they're serving breakfast," I said.
"Look!" Seamus Finn said. "People!"
"Or Munchkins," I said.
There were people! Short people! They were up to their middles, which would be up to our knees, in the
"This reminds me of something," Neddie said.
From behind us we heard a voice blaring over a loudspeaker: "Who put a shoofly pie over the lens of the television camera?"
And we heard Uncle Father Palabra shout, "It was I, Norman! Norman put the shoofly pie on your fershlugginer lens!"
"Hee hee!" Big Audrey giggled. "Now they're going to think Norman did it."
The next thing I knew, we were in the coracle on the river, the big Mahakahakakatuk, paddling and spinning.
CHAPTER 46
Big River
"This is Big Audrey," I told Neddie. "She and a bunch of other people rescued you from Juvenile Hole."
"Pleased to meet you, and thanks very much," Neddie said. "They have the biggest television screen I've ever seen down there. We have better programs in Los Angeles, but they have better ads in New Yapyap City. What kind of boat is this?"
"It's a coracle," Big Audrey said.
"It's round."
"It's all we've got. My uncle, Uncle Father Palabra, built it. Ancient type of boat."
"It doesn't steer all that well," Neddie said. That was the truth. The coracle had a tendency to spin and it careened all over the river. After a while, we started to get the hang of it. With two people paddling and two others using their paddles as rudders at the front and the back of the boatâassuming it had a front and a backâwe could get it to go more or less in one direction.
"What river is this?" Neddie wanted to know.
"It's the Mahakahakakatuk," Big Audrey said. "The object is to get to the other side."
"How long would it take if we were in something normal?" I asked.
"I don't know. Maybe half an hour."
"And as we are?"
"It looks like it will take all nightâhours, anyway."
"What are those hissing and clicking noises?"
"There are things in the river."
"Bad things?"
"Well, I wouldn't dangle my fingers in the water," Big Audrey said.
"Have you been on the river before?" I asked.
"No. People don't go on the river much. It's the things. This is the first time the coracle has been in the water, too. Considering Uncle Father built it from pictures in an encyclopedia, it's working fairly well, I'd say."
"It feels like something is gnawing on my oar," I said.
"I wouldn't be surprised," Big Audrey said. "What exactly are the things in this river?" Seamus Finn asked.
"Mostly eel-sharks," Big Audrey said.
"And they're bad?"
"How good can something that's an eel and a shark be?" There was an evil-smelling mist rising from the river, and the moon lit up patches of greasy-looking slime. We were quiet and serious as we paddled and steered for the far shore and listened to the hissing and clicking.
"At least there aren't any whales in this river," Seamus Finn said after a long time.
"Oh, there are," Big Audrey said. "They eat the eel-sharks."
We kept steering and paddling.
CHAPTER 47
Kind Hearts and Crunchy Granola
Dawn broke on the river. We were getting close to the shore. We were tired and hungry, and our hands were sore.
"Travel by
coracle
is the worst," Neddie said. "Who invented them, anyway?"
"Well, the word
coracle
comes from the Welsh
cwrwgl,
" Big Audrey said. "But they go back thousands of years, and similar boats turn up in all kinds of cultures. The
curragh
is an Irish boat, the Mandan Indians made bull boats, and the Iraqi
gufa,
the southern Indian
parisal,
and the Tibetan
ku-dru
are all along the same lines. As you can see, it's basically a big basket with hide stretched over it and tar spread over that to make it waterproof. And you have to admit, it got us where we wanted to go."
"Do you have Wales, and Mandan Indians, and Tibet in this world, same as ours?" Neddie asked.
"Apparently," Big Audrey said.
"I want to go someplace where they're serving breakfast," I said.
"Look!" Seamus Finn said. "People!"
"Or Munchkins," I said.
There were people! Short people! They were up to their middles, which would be up to our knees, in the
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