The Very Best of F & SF v1 by Gordon Van Gelder (ed) Page B
Authors: Gordon Van Gelder (ed)
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work. I use
to watch the late show and the late late show on TV all the time and it never
made me smart. Maybe you have to sleep while you watch it.
PROGRESS REPORT 9—April 3
Dr Strauss
showed me how to keep the TV turned low so now I can sleep. I dont hear a
thing. And I still dont understand what it says. A few times I play it over in
the morning to find out what I lemed when I was sleeping and I dont think so.
Miss Kinnian says Maybe its another langwidge or something. But most times it
sounds american. It talks so fast faster then even Miss Gold who was my teacher
in 6 grade and I remember she talked so fast I coudnt understand her.
I told Dr
Strauss what good is it to get smart in my sleep. I want to be smart when Im
awake. He says its the same thing and I have two minds. Theres the subconscious and the conscious (thats how you
spell it). And one dont tell the other one what its doing. They dont even talk
to each other. Thats why I dream. And boy have I been having crazy dreams. Wow.
Ever since that night TV. The late late late late late show.
I forgot to ask
him if it was only me or if everybody had those two minds.
(I just looked
up the word in the dictionary Dr Strauss gave me. The word is subconscious, adj. Of the nature of mental operations yet
not present in consciousness; as, subconscious conflict of desires.) Theres more but I still don’t know what it means. This isnt a very good
dictionary for dumb people like me. Anyway the headache is from the party. My
frends from the factery Joe Carp and Frank Reilly invited me to go with them to
Muggsys Saloon for some drinks. I dont like to drink but they said we will have
lots of fun. I had a good time.
Joe Carp said I
shoud show the girls how I mop out the toilet in the factory and he got me a
mop. I showed them and everyone laffed when I told that Mr Donnegan said I was
the best janiter he ever had because I like my job and do it good and never
come late or miss a day except for my operashun.
I said Miss
Kinnian always said Charlie be proud of your job because you do it good.
Everybody laffed
and we had a good time and they gave me lots of drinks and Joe said Charlie is
a card when hes potted. I dont know what that means but everybody likes me and
we have fun. I cant wait to be smart like my best frends Joe Carp and Frank
Reilly.
I dont remember
how the party was over but I think I went out to buy a newspaper and coffe for
Joe and Frank and when I came back there was no one their. I looked for them all
over till late. Then I dont remember so good but I think I got sleepy or sick.
A nice cop brot me back home. Thats what my landlady Mrs Flynn says.
But I got a
headache and a big lump on my head and black and blue all over. I think maybe I
fell but Joe Carp says it was the cop they beat up drunks some times. I don’t
think so. Miss Kinnian says cops are to help people. Anyway I got a bad
headache and Im sick and hurt all over. I dont think I’ll drink anymore.
April
6 I beat Algernon! I dint even know I beat him
until Burt the tester told me. Then the second time I lost because I got so
exited I fell off the chair before I finished. But after that I beat him 8 more
times. I must be getting smart to beat a smart mouse like Algernon. But I dont
feel smarter.
I wanted to race
Algernon some more but Burt said thats enough for one day. They let me hold him
for a minit. Hes not so bad. Hes soft like a ball of cotton. He blinks and when
he opens his eyes their black and pink on the eges.
I said can I
feed him because I felt bad to beat him and I wanted to be nice and make
frends. Burt said no Algernon is a very specshul mouse with an operashun like
mine, and he was the first of all the animals to stay smart so long. He told me
Algernon is so smart that every day he has to solve a test to get his food. Its
a thing like a lock on a door that changes every time Algernon goes in to eat
so he has to lern something new to get his food. That made me sad
to watch the late show and the late late show on TV all the time and it never
made me smart. Maybe you have to sleep while you watch it.
PROGRESS REPORT 9—April 3
Dr Strauss
showed me how to keep the TV turned low so now I can sleep. I dont hear a
thing. And I still dont understand what it says. A few times I play it over in
the morning to find out what I lemed when I was sleeping and I dont think so.
Miss Kinnian says Maybe its another langwidge or something. But most times it
sounds american. It talks so fast faster then even Miss Gold who was my teacher
in 6 grade and I remember she talked so fast I coudnt understand her.
I told Dr
Strauss what good is it to get smart in my sleep. I want to be smart when Im
awake. He says its the same thing and I have two minds. Theres the subconscious and the conscious (thats how you
spell it). And one dont tell the other one what its doing. They dont even talk
to each other. Thats why I dream. And boy have I been having crazy dreams. Wow.
Ever since that night TV. The late late late late late show.
I forgot to ask
him if it was only me or if everybody had those two minds.
(I just looked
up the word in the dictionary Dr Strauss gave me. The word is subconscious, adj. Of the nature of mental operations yet
not present in consciousness; as, subconscious conflict of desires.) Theres more but I still don’t know what it means. This isnt a very good
dictionary for dumb people like me. Anyway the headache is from the party. My
frends from the factery Joe Carp and Frank Reilly invited me to go with them to
Muggsys Saloon for some drinks. I dont like to drink but they said we will have
lots of fun. I had a good time.
Joe Carp said I
shoud show the girls how I mop out the toilet in the factory and he got me a
mop. I showed them and everyone laffed when I told that Mr Donnegan said I was
the best janiter he ever had because I like my job and do it good and never
come late or miss a day except for my operashun.
I said Miss
Kinnian always said Charlie be proud of your job because you do it good.
Everybody laffed
and we had a good time and they gave me lots of drinks and Joe said Charlie is
a card when hes potted. I dont know what that means but everybody likes me and
we have fun. I cant wait to be smart like my best frends Joe Carp and Frank
Reilly.
I dont remember
how the party was over but I think I went out to buy a newspaper and coffe for
Joe and Frank and when I came back there was no one their. I looked for them all
over till late. Then I dont remember so good but I think I got sleepy or sick.
A nice cop brot me back home. Thats what my landlady Mrs Flynn says.
But I got a
headache and a big lump on my head and black and blue all over. I think maybe I
fell but Joe Carp says it was the cop they beat up drunks some times. I don’t
think so. Miss Kinnian says cops are to help people. Anyway I got a bad
headache and Im sick and hurt all over. I dont think I’ll drink anymore.
April
6 I beat Algernon! I dint even know I beat him
until Burt the tester told me. Then the second time I lost because I got so
exited I fell off the chair before I finished. But after that I beat him 8 more
times. I must be getting smart to beat a smart mouse like Algernon. But I dont
feel smarter.
I wanted to race
Algernon some more but Burt said thats enough for one day. They let me hold him
for a minit. Hes not so bad. Hes soft like a ball of cotton. He blinks and when
he opens his eyes their black and pink on the eges.
I said can I
feed him because I felt bad to beat him and I wanted to be nice and make
frends. Burt said no Algernon is a very specshul mouse with an operashun like
mine, and he was the first of all the animals to stay smart so long. He told me
Algernon is so smart that every day he has to solve a test to get his food. Its
a thing like a lock on a door that changes every time Algernon goes in to eat
so he has to lern something new to get his food. That made me sad
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