Lisa.”
“No!” She turned her back on him, staring out the window. “Get out, Clancy.”
“Your son, Tommy, was born one year after your marriage to Baldwin. According to your file, you and the boy were extraordinarily close. He died in an automobile accident threeyears ago. Baldwin was driving and received only a slight concussion.” Her spine was painfully rigid, as if he were flogging her and she had to tense to bear the blows. Lord, he was glad he couldn’t see her face now. “You came very close to a nervous breakdown. You were under a doctor’s care for six months, and then you resumed your career and concentrated all your energies on that area of your life.”
“You have all the facts down accurately,” she said, her voice brittle. “You don’t need me to tell you anything.”
“Yes, I do. I need you to tell me about Tommy. What did he look like? Was he blond like Baldwin?”
“No, he had brown hair, acorn brown. What difference does it make?”
“Brown eyes?”
“No, they were hazel.” Her voice was a mere whisper. “Please, don’t do this to me, Clancy.”
“What was his favorite color? Most children like red.”
“He loved yellow. Bright yellow. For his fifthbirthday I arranged a party at his nursery school, and he wanted all the balloons to be yellow.”
“Was he a quiet child?”
“Sometimes. When he was tired, he’d bring his favorite book and curl up next to me in the same chair.” She seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “He’d lean his head against me and not say a word until I’d finished. Though most of the time he’d fall asleep before I got halfway through.”
“Did he have a favorite toy he slept with?”
“Bruiser. It was a tattered old panda bear with one black eye. I told Tommy he looked like a punch-drunk fighter. It got so worn I tried to get him to accept a replacement, but he loved it so.…”
“What happened to Bruiser, Lisa?”
She didn’t answer. Her spine was arched with unbearable tension as if she were being stretched on the rack.
“Tell me, Lisa.”
“He’s with Tommy.” Her voice was so faint he could hardly catch it. “I wanted him to havesomething he loved with him. Bruiser is with Tommy.”
Oh, God, he couldn’t keep this up. Why wouldn’t she break? “What did Tommy look like when he smiled?”
“He had a dimple in his left cheek and he’d just lost his front tooth. I was planning on having his yearly picture taken, and I told him he’d look as ragtag as Bruiser. He laughed and—” She whirled to face him. Tears were running down her cheeks and her eyes were wild with grief. “But I never had that picture taken. He died, Clancy. He
died
!” Her slender body was suddenly racked with sobs. “It wasn’t fair. Tommy was so good. He didn’t deserve to have that happen to him.”
Clancy crossed the room in three strides, and gathered her in his arms. His hands cradled the back of her head, pressing her face into his chest in an agony of tenderness. “I know, acushla. I know.”
“He was a miracle.” Her voice was muffled, but the words flowed on. It was as if once started, they were impossible to halt. “Amiracle. I hadn’t done anything to deserve him. I’d always been a little selfish and thoughtless, yet I was given Tommy. He was so sweet and affectionate. And smart. He was very bright for his age. All his teachers said so.” Her hands clenched his shirt front, wrinkling it. “I
loved
him so, Clancy.”
He could feel his throat tighten painfully. “The dreams. What are the dreams about, Lisa?”
“Tommy. They’re always about Tommy, and they’re all the same. It’s late at night and I’m at home. I’m happy. I even hum a little as I climb the stairs. I have to tuck Tommy in for the night, and I always love doing that. He’s always so clean and sweet after his bath. Then I open the door and Tommy’s not in his room. I don’t understand and I walk into the room and go across to his bed.
“No!” She turned her back on him, staring out the window. “Get out, Clancy.”
“Your son, Tommy, was born one year after your marriage to Baldwin. According to your file, you and the boy were extraordinarily close. He died in an automobile accident threeyears ago. Baldwin was driving and received only a slight concussion.” Her spine was painfully rigid, as if he were flogging her and she had to tense to bear the blows. Lord, he was glad he couldn’t see her face now. “You came very close to a nervous breakdown. You were under a doctor’s care for six months, and then you resumed your career and concentrated all your energies on that area of your life.”
“You have all the facts down accurately,” she said, her voice brittle. “You don’t need me to tell you anything.”
“Yes, I do. I need you to tell me about Tommy. What did he look like? Was he blond like Baldwin?”
“No, he had brown hair, acorn brown. What difference does it make?”
“Brown eyes?”
“No, they were hazel.” Her voice was a mere whisper. “Please, don’t do this to me, Clancy.”
“What was his favorite color? Most children like red.”
“He loved yellow. Bright yellow. For his fifthbirthday I arranged a party at his nursery school, and he wanted all the balloons to be yellow.”
“Was he a quiet child?”
“Sometimes. When he was tired, he’d bring his favorite book and curl up next to me in the same chair.” She seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “He’d lean his head against me and not say a word until I’d finished. Though most of the time he’d fall asleep before I got halfway through.”
“Did he have a favorite toy he slept with?”
“Bruiser. It was a tattered old panda bear with one black eye. I told Tommy he looked like a punch-drunk fighter. It got so worn I tried to get him to accept a replacement, but he loved it so.…”
“What happened to Bruiser, Lisa?”
She didn’t answer. Her spine was arched with unbearable tension as if she were being stretched on the rack.
“Tell me, Lisa.”
“He’s with Tommy.” Her voice was so faint he could hardly catch it. “I wanted him to havesomething he loved with him. Bruiser is with Tommy.”
Oh, God, he couldn’t keep this up. Why wouldn’t she break? “What did Tommy look like when he smiled?”
“He had a dimple in his left cheek and he’d just lost his front tooth. I was planning on having his yearly picture taken, and I told him he’d look as ragtag as Bruiser. He laughed and—” She whirled to face him. Tears were running down her cheeks and her eyes were wild with grief. “But I never had that picture taken. He died, Clancy. He
died
!” Her slender body was suddenly racked with sobs. “It wasn’t fair. Tommy was so good. He didn’t deserve to have that happen to him.”
Clancy crossed the room in three strides, and gathered her in his arms. His hands cradled the back of her head, pressing her face into his chest in an agony of tenderness. “I know, acushla. I know.”
“He was a miracle.” Her voice was muffled, but the words flowed on. It was as if once started, they were impossible to halt. “Amiracle. I hadn’t done anything to deserve him. I’d always been a little selfish and thoughtless, yet I was given Tommy. He was so sweet and affectionate. And smart. He was very bright for his age. All his teachers said so.” Her hands clenched his shirt front, wrinkling it. “I
loved
him so, Clancy.”
He could feel his throat tighten painfully. “The dreams. What are the dreams about, Lisa?”
“Tommy. They’re always about Tommy, and they’re all the same. It’s late at night and I’m at home. I’m happy. I even hum a little as I climb the stairs. I have to tuck Tommy in for the night, and I always love doing that. He’s always so clean and sweet after his bath. Then I open the door and Tommy’s not in his room. I don’t understand and I walk into the room and go across to his bed.
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