Lucky In Love by Deborah Coonts

think she even preened a little bit. “Anyway, how was I to know the woman with him was not his fiancée?”
    Somehow this little tidbit didn’t rock my world. Dealing with interesting choices was part of my job description. “And the fiancée?”
    “The dildo-wielding banshee.” Mona looked at me matter-of-factly, with her hands on her hips, like a teacher ratting on a student to the principal.
    “With all this bed-hopping, Viagra missed an incredible promotional opportunity.” I grabbed Mona by the elbow and spun her around. “You’d better take me to them. We just have to prevent homicide until eight p.m . After that, they can kill each other during prime time for all I care.”
    “The ratings would go through the roof.” Awe infused each of Mona’s words.
    “And add a dose of reality to reality tv .”
    We’d made it past the toy display and the private viewing booths when a thought hit me. “I’m not that great at math, but it seems to me there were three of them and two of you. Did you and Joe stop the bloodshed all by yourselves?”
    “With a little help from Detective Romeo.” Mother glanced at me through narrowed eyes, reading my pulse. Apparently she deemed it safe to continue. “When I couldn’t get hold of you... that brings up a point, why does Teddie keep answering your phone?”
    “I left it at home, and he’s untrainable.”
    “They all are, honey. Remember that.” My mother shot me a look that saw right through me. Thankfully, she didn’t belabor the point—a first for her. “As I was saying, when I couldn’t get you, I called Romeo. Told him to keep it on the qt . He calmed everyone down.”
    “Yes, a man with a gun can have a chilling effect. You did the right thing.”
    This time I know she preened.
    Detective Romeo, my ally in the Metropolitan Police Department, had a knack for making the right decisions despite his lack of experience. The fact that he was a bit older than he appeared—he looked all of twelve—also weighed in his favor. Today he sported his ever-present rumpled overcoat, a creased suit that looked like he’d slept in it, probably for good reason, a tie loosely knotted around his thin neck, and a wilted shirt. He wore his sandy brown hair shorter than the last time I’d seen him—he’d probably grown tired of trying to tame his cowlick. The short hair looked good on him, framing his open face, blue eyes, and mischievous smile—which grew wider when he saw me. “About time you showed up.”
    “I learned long ago it’s best to let someone else do the heavy lifting.” I squeezed his shoulder, feeling bones. Not good. “If I time it right, when I show up there’s nothing left to do but take the credit.”
    “You’ll have to teach me how to do that.” Romeo reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out his notebook, which he flipped open. “We got one Walker Worthington in Booth Three over there.” He pointed behind me. “He’s going to have a pretty good shiner. And he could probably use a few stitches, but he refuses. The lady”—he pointed to another booth on the far side of the room—“popped him pretty good.”
    “Really? With what?” Call me ugly, but I just had to jerk his chain a bit. Hey, I got my jollies where I could, not that it made me proud.
    “This.” Romeo’s face turned bright pink when he held up the weapon: a gold-inlaid, diamond-encrusted penis, which gave a whole new meaning to rough. He must’ve punched a button or something because the thing started vibrating and flashing lights through the jewels. “Someday, you’re going to have to explain why this is so... ”
    I held up my hands, stopping him. “Barking up the wrong tree, my friend.” I shook my head as I eyed the battery-operated boyfriend. “Even I have no explanation for... that.”
    Mona heard her cue. “Oh, well, I think I can explain it. You see, women, because of their anatomy—”
    “Not necessary, Mother,” I snapped.
    “Perhaps another